[Lucia.]

(Original post by MancBoy)
Is your boyfriend a girl? Why cant he respect the fact that your parents are not happy with their daughter sleeping with a guy under THEIR roof. I say good on your parents. My parents would have done the same.

I don't know why you got negged for that. I have liberal opinions on sexuality and I agree with what you said. She should have checked with her parents in advance, so that they were prepared and wouldn't be stressed out. I always check with my parents about having someone over, whether they are a friend or a boyfriend. Her parents might have felt overburdened and disrespected because she did not ask them beforehand.

I also think that the boyfriend should not have reacted badly, at least for his girlfriend's sake. I would expect anyone I was dating to show respect to my parents. I love them and I'd be really pissed if I was his girlfriend. If he cares about her, then he has to care about getting on with her parents, no matter how old-fashioned they might seem to him.

Age is irrelevant here. If you're living with parents, you have to abide by their rules whether you agree with them or not.

(Original post by Anonymous)
As for arrangement, we're nomore as far as I'm concerned. We can't possibly come back from this and I don't think it'll work. And furthermore he's gone into ignore moody mode! Not spoken to him allday!

He sounds really quite emotionally immature. He isn't worth if he's going to get passive aggressive and indignant about it. I hate it when guys pull that one on me. I want to tell him to grow up! If he's ignoring you, stop contacting him. He's trying to provoke a reaction from you and guilt trip you into being accommodating with his moods. Don't fall for it, honestly. Set the standard that if he wants you to know how he feels, then he has to communicate with you. Ah men complain about mind games but they are apt to play them too. I don't blame MancBoy for making that comment.

(Original post by FrostyLemon)
but if he ends it over that then he is a bit of a tart.

^ That too.

[KillForOreos]

(Original post by Lucia.)
I don't know why you got negged for that. I have liberal opinions on sexuality and I agree with what you said. She should have checked with her parents in advance, so that they were prepared and wouldn't be stressed out. I always check with my parents about having someone over, whether they are a friend or a boyfriend. Her parents might have felt overburdened and disrespected because she did not ask them beforehand.

I also think that the boyfriend should not have reacted badly, at least for his girlfriend's sake. I would expect anyone I was dating to show respect to my parents. I love them and I'd be really pissed if I was his girlfriend. If he cares about her, then he has to care about getting on with her parents, no matter how old-fashioned they might seem to him.

Age is irrelevant here. If you're living with parents, you have to abide by their rules whether you agree with them or not.



He sounds really quite emotionally immature. He isn't worth if he's going to get passive aggressive and indignant about it. I hate it when guys pull that one on me. I want to tell him to grow up! If he's ignoring you, stop contacting him. He's trying to provoke a reaction from you and guilt trip you into being accommodating with his moods. Don't fall for it, honestly. Set the standard that if he wants you to know how he feels, then he has to communicate with you. Ah men complain about mind games but they are apt to play them too. I don't blame MancBoy for making that comment.

I totally agree, If your bf is at that age and is having a hissy fit about this then he needs a little growing up to do. If he can't stay with you and wants to get moody about it then so be it. He is the one missing out. Otherwise get on the phone to him and apologise, you be the strong one over him as you are the better person.
Your parents did act quite OTT but you're living under their roof, they support you etc. even if you are in your 20's.
I'm 20 and if I were to have my bf stop over I'd definitely ask out of respect and I'd ask each time too.

Hope it works out for you.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[Anonymous]

(Original post by KillForOreos)
I totally agree, If your bf is at that age and is having a hissy fit about this then he needs a little growing up to do. If he can't stay with you and wants to get moody about it then so be it. He is the one missing out. Otherwise get on the phone to him and apologise, you be the strong one over him as you are the better person.
Your parents did act quite OTT but you're living under their roof, they support you etc. even if you are in your 20's.
I'm 20 and if I were to have my bf stop over I'd definitely ask out of respect and I'd ask each time too.

Hope it works out for you.

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

I just wish he would talk to me, like mature adults do, so we could sort it out, but he doesn't want to, and wants to remain in a mood! That's fine, but im not putting up with it; very immature and I can't be bothered. As far as im concerned - it's done with, and I wash my hands of it.

(Original post by Lucia.)
I don't know why you got negged for that. I have liberal opinions on sexuality and I agree with what you said. She should have checked with her parents in advance, so that they were prepared and wouldn't be stressed out. I always check with my parents about having someone over, whether they are a friend or a boyfriend. Her parents might have felt overburdened and disrespected because she did not ask them beforehand.

I also think that the boyfriend should not have reacted badly, at least for his girlfriend's sake. I would expect anyone I was dating to show respect to my parents. I love them and I'd be really pissed if I was his girlfriend. If he cares about her, then he has to care about getting on with her parents, no matter how old-fashioned they might seem to him.

Age is irrelevant here. If you're living with parents, you have to abide by their rules whether you agree with them or not.

He sounds really quite emotionally immature. He isn't worth if he's going to get passive aggressive and indignant about it. I hate it when guys pull that one on me. I want to tell him to grow up! If he's ignoring you, stop contacting him. He's trying to provoke a reaction from you and guilt trip you into being accommodating with his moods. Don't fall for it, honestly. Set the standard that if he wants you to know how he feels, then he has to communicate with you. Ah men complain about mind games but they are apt to play them too. I don't blame MancBoy for making that comment.

I didn't neg MancBoy for his response, as everyone's response here I appreciate a great deal, so thank you all.

I just didn't think; it was a last minute thing, and I just thought it wouldn't have been an issue. They are familiar with him, seen him several times, so thought it was ok, but unfortunately that was not meant to be the case. I had a chat with my mum last night, and she said him coming over to chill and etc, would not have been an issue, it was the fact that I kept them completely in the dark and I didn't say a thing to them, which is what hurt them the most.

As for him, well, I am done! I was hoping to have talked to him like a mature adult about the whole thing, but even through WhatsApp conversation, he was giving it all the moody attitude ''mememe'', and hasn't responded to me since Monday evening. Like you said, I am NOT contacting him whatsoever, and I am not going to fall for the mind games. If or when he gets in touch, then I will tell him exactly what my mum and I have discussed, and at the same time, get rid of him. We had a lil hoohaa before, and I forgave him, but after this immature stunt he's now playing, im not going to forgive again, but get rid well and truly! Ok half of the incident is my own fault, I should have informed parents, but at the same time, if he can't be bothered to at least work with me, then what is the point???

(Original post by MancBoy)
Is your boyfriend a girl? Why cant he respect the fact that your parents are not happy with their daughter sleeping with a guy under THEIR roof. I say good on your parents. My parents would have done the same.

Your guess is as good as mine. I was hoping to talk to him like an adult about it, but I can't be bothered. I wouldn't call him a bf anymore either, as he's gone! I haven't spoken to him since Monday and I can't be arsed with his moods.

[Anonymous]

Day two = no contact! lol

Remaining strong - not making ANY contact!

[Foo.mp3]

Your parents are nobs, but it's their house eh. Fortunately my parents are reasonably liberal and have been well under my thumb since I entered my teens

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Your parents are nobs, but it's their house eh. Fortunately my parents are reasonably liberal and have been well under my thumb since I entered my teens

I know, and I'll never forgive them for ruining my relationship, but I honestly saw no problem with it. They got their wish, and are now happy, whereas I am the complete opposite. But hey ho - I haven't heard anything from him since Monday, so it was prob. a sign that it's not meant to be.

[Anonymous]

Day 3 = no contact! lol

[Foo.mp3]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I know, and I'll never forgive them for ruining my relationship, but I honestly saw no problem with it. They got their wish, and are now happy, whereas I am the complete opposite. But hey ho - I haven't heard anything from him since Monday, so it was prob. a sign that it's not meant to be.

On the 1st count, don't they care they've caused you such unhappiness!?

On the 2nd, you're probably right. Any guy would be majorly hacked off in that situation (found myself in that position once with a gf when we were around 16, her old man insisted on getting me a taxi when she'd said it'd be fine to stay over - funny thing was she was notoriously promiscuous and I'd already lost my V plates to her!) .. but you'd expect them to get over it and to understand if they really cared about you

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
On the 1st count, don't they care they've caused you such unhappiness!?

On the 2nd, you're probably right. Any guy would be majorly hacked off in that situation (found myself in that position once with a gf when we were around 16, her old man insisted on getting me a taxi when she'd said it'd be fine to stay over - funny thing was she was notoriously promiscuous and I'd already lost my V plates to her!) .. but you'd expect them to get over it and to understand if they really cared about you

After the awkward atmosphere, and the silent treatment because I am so so upset, I literally just burst into tears Tues, and said to my mum (can't talk to dad, he's v ignorant) - that they basically taken away what happiness I had. Ok, bf and I were just seeing how things were going to go, take things slow, but what we both were building up, they've destroyed, and they don't care. The past few days I've been so miserable, but they don't give a flying ****, just keep asking ''Are you ok?'' errrr dumb Q!

I honestly didn't think it would cause either party so much upset, and distress, I thought it would be ok, but obv. not. As a result, I can totally understand why he doesn't want to talk to me, but at the same time I would like to talk to him about it in the open, because I want to know what he's thinking. He's been on FB and IM, and completely blanked me. If anything, he's making it worse for himself, as the longer he leaves it, the more im thinking ''Waste of space''. Was suppose to be going out with him on Saturday as well; spend the day together and then go out at night - that's gone out the window completely!

[Foo.mp3]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Was suppose to be going out with him on Saturday as well; spend the day together and then go out at night - that's gone out the window completely!

I'd make that your emotional cut-off point if I were you, although really a guy should only need a day or two to get over something like that..

[FelineCostumier]

I've got to say, your BFs reaction is that of a petulant 16 year old. He's a grown man and I would hazard a guess that all men I know wouldn't throw their toys out of the pram because your parents imposed some rules when staying in their house. We'd more than likely laugh it off as painfully awkward and a lesson learnt.

You should have asked your parents, you didn't, they overreacted but at least you know now.

The main person at fault in all of this is your BF because of his childish reaction. I can't imagine any of this scenario happening to me when I was 26!

[Anonymous]

(Original post by FelineCostumier)
I've got to say, your BFs reaction is that of a petulant 16 year old. He's a grown man and I would hazard a guess that all men I know wouldn't throw their toys out of the pram because your parents imposed some rules when staying in their house. We'd more than likely laugh it off as painfully awkward and a lesson learnt.

You should have asked your parents, you didn't, they overreacted but at least you know now.

The main person at fault in all of this is your BF because of his childish reaction. I can't imagine any of this scenario happening to me when I was 26!

It's pathetic and I'm just really hacked off he's not had the courage to at least try and talk to me like a mature adult. What do you suggest; shall I still leave it as no contact, or shall I say my piece and **** him off (get rid for good)?? I know I did wrong, and I feel like an absolute tit for not asking but really didn't think it would cause so much drama.

[Anonymous]

Slightly drunk tonight and obv. course it got the better of me, and I texted.

As per usual, tried to confront the issue, the moody **** brushed it off with "going to bed". I more or less had enough, and says my piece. I now couldn't give a flying fcuk; like a few of you have said its incredibly immature but I was in the wrong, which I know. He's evidently not bothered which I told him, and also said he obv doesn't care.

Not going to lie, wish I hadn't let such a waste of space into my life, but at least I've realised now rather than later. (And I'm no longer pressurised into unprotected sex).

[King Kebab]

You have done nothing wrong. Your boyfriend should also know that you have done nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by King Kebab)
You have done nothing wrong. Your boyfriend should also know that you have done nothing wrong.

I'm not even bothered anymore; I just wish I never clapped eyes on him, but when you're lonely, and crave the ''want to be wanted/loved'', you pick up, stick to anything! He's just a complete and utter ****, who will never ever be happy as far as I am concerned, and will just spend most of his time sat on his stupid lil phone, on PoF, desperate to find a woman!

[Lucia.]

^ That's the spirit. I always find a bit of girly time is the solution to any man problems.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Lucia.)
^ That's the spirit. I always find a bit of girly time is the solution to any man problems.

I got slightly drunk last night, and I just let rip on him - thought I'm not pussy footing around him anymore. Basically told him how uncaring he is and etc, and that he has disappointed me. Made it perfectly clear that I am NOT interested, so hopefully he doesn't come back again, and I also dropped in I purchased something for him which he wanted, but returned it! He said ''Best thing to have done'', but I know he wanted it bad as he was moaning last week when I purchased one for myself! lol Not only that, I noticed on his facebook, he is bluntly chatting up other women, and STILL on PoF (while we were together).

I think I am well rid; tbh his immature behaviour has done me a favour; found out the real person for what he is, and glad I have now, rather than later!

Maybe the whole parents blowing up - was a sign? has done me a favour after all?

[Lucia.]

Yeah you're awesome. The thing with the parents was definitely a sign. And it's good that it happened because it meant you realised sooner rather than later that he was a bad person to be dating. Yay! I'm glad you've resolved this and you've got well rid. It's good to see a satisfactory conclusion to a thread on here.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Lucia.)
Yeah you're awesome. The thing with the parents was definitely a sign. And it's good that it happened because it meant you realised sooner rather than later that he was a bad person to be dating. Yay! I'm glad you've resolved this and you've got well rid. It's good to see a satisfactory conclusion to a thread on here.

Thank you.

Not going to lie, got a slight tinge of feeling a lil gutted but hey one bridge burnt and firmly knocked down to the ground.
I went out last night, and was surrounded by nice people; people who had ambition and that, and then I thought ''I would never be able to take xx to said events''; he wouldn't fit in (if that makes sense). Ok i know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover and etc, but I just couldn't see it.

Ah well - another ******** bites the dust . . bring on the next man (hopefully it'll be a nice tall dark mature man with ambition, who knows how to treat a woman properly).

[Anonymous]

Well well discovered this week I never was a gf in the first place, more so just 'something' to fill the gap until something better came along! Charming! I've also not heard anything from him since, but to be honest, I no longer give a flying ****; waste of space, and he actually looks like a prick - got himself a new hair style, bleached it some colour, and now looks like an absolute arse - so glad I am well and truly rid. I like to think of this as he's done me a hugeee favour lol. Even the STD ridden girl he was trying to chat up has done a runner - serves him right.

Ah well onwards and bloody upwards