[helloskoodle]

Hi, this is my first post.

I will probably be attending uni in September next year, I am not worried about that.
I was more curious actually.
Why do people get so drunk on freshers? They seem to go out all the time and have loads of casual sex. Will I fit in if I don't want to do that stuff? I have a long term girlfriend, and she isn't into all that either.
I don't know if I will be treated like an outcast for not drinking and hooking up. I have never done it before, and I don't plan to.

Advice? Reassurance?

Thanks

[ocelot92]

yeah similar problems here, the trouble is im too shy to do all that shizz

[Iqbal007]

(Original post by helloskoodle)
Hi, this is my first post.

I will probably be attending uni in September next year, I am not worried about that.
I was more curious actually.
Why do people get so drunk on freshers? They seem to go out all the time and have loads of casual sex. Will I fit in if I don't want to do that stuff? I have a long term girlfriend, and she isn't into all that either.
I don't know if I will be treated like an outcast for not drinking and hooking up. I have never done it before, and I don't plan to.

Advice? Reassurance?

Thanks

Who said thats what everyone does in freshers o.O
It gets exaggerated a quite a bit, yes a few people hook up, but not everyone does, some people get drunk, but not everyone does.

Some people actually just go for the clubbing and the night out with new mates to get to know them better.

[Newbie123]

People get drunk so that they're less shy/more sociable - and because everyone else is, and they don't want to be made an outcast within the first week.

[alexlduffy]

You'll meet all kinds of people at university, and you'll be glad to hear that you'll meet people who don't like to go out drinking a lot. Freshers week, surprisingly enough, isn't just about getting as drunk as possible. You'll hopefully be making plenty of friends too!

[Pads]

So you believe all the hype then?

Do what you want to do!

No one is holding a gun to your head!

You will enjoy yourself whatever you choose to do because suprisingly....

There are other people like YOU!

[roh]

(Original post by helloskoodle)
Hi, this is my first post.

I will probably be attending uni in September next year, I am not worried about that.
I was more curious actually.
Why do people get so drunk on freshers? They seem to go out all the time and have loads of casual sex. Will I fit in if I don't want to do that stuff? I have a long term girlfriend, and she isn't into all that either.
I don't know if I will be treated like an outcast for not drinking and hooking up. I have never done it before, and I don't plan to.

Advice? Reassurance?

Thanks

People get quite drunk in order to get to know people through bar crawls etc. and because everyone's more gregarious when drunk it makes it easier to get to know each other. Also, you're 18, it's just that age when getting drunk's fun for lots of people.

Most people don't want to make a total **** of themselves in Freshers though and if anything I think people go more mental on the sheer amount consumed after exams as a release.

Loads of people have long term partners, yes some people do sleep around in Freshers but it's far from obligatory.

Ultimately there's no massive pressure to do either. Yes the majority will go out drinking, but unis are such big places you'll find plenty of people who don't.

[Ed3003]

Don't let Freshers define your university life. I had the most amazing two weeks and so much fun meeting new people but I do regret letting myself make such strong connections so quickly. Emotions are heightened after moving away from home and often the people you meet feel like your best friends in the world straight away or even your future husbands and wives! Take your time and have fun, make sure you remember that you've got three years to get through and you want to make as many different friends as possible, so don't get too comfortable in one circle as soon as freshers finishes! So jealous of anyone starting in September, university offers so many opportunities and I'm sad I only have one year left!!!

[Spartacus Mills]

(Original post by helloskoodle)
Hi, this is my first post.

I will probably be attending uni in September next year, I am not worried about that.
I was more curious actually.
Why do people get so drunk on freshers? They seem to go out all the time and have loads of casual sex. Will I fit in if I don't want to do that stuff? I have a long term girlfriend, and she isn't into all that either.
I don't know if I will be treated like an outcast for not drinking and hooking up. I have never done it before, and I don't plan to.

Advice? Reassurance?

Thanks

Freshers isn't completely like that. Yes, lots of people go out a lot and get drunk, mostly because you've got 1-2 weeks when you get there with no lectures and new people to meet, so you all go out together and get pissed. As far as casual sex goes, in my house (about 70 people) there really wasn't that much, people pulled in clubs fairly easily if they wanted to and occasionally brought people back to the flat, but there was't really any pressure to do so. Nobody got any abuse or was treated like an outcast for not joining in with anything and everything. You should be completely fine unless you're in a flat full of those god-awful Jack Wills-wearing 'banter' 'lads'.

[funsongfactory]

Getting drunk doesn't automatically lead to having casual sex you know, probably not that many people do have a load of drunken hook-ups in freshers cause everyone's more interested in making new friends.

[KingGoonIan]

I love music but hate nightclubs so am also a bit worried. Don't mind getting drunk though

[ellakrystina]

I went out once during freshers and then was back by midnight with some others from my flat as it was a bit **** and awkward and we got takeaway. No one will force you to go out and others, like you, you not be into drinking/going out and many students have long term relationships.

Freshers is great if you love going out, but it's kind of crap if you're not into it. Sign up to lots of societies during the freshers fair and go join in on the free activities and meals they'll hold. You'll find something you like during the week (I found boxing!) and if not then you'll meet lots of people when you start lectures

[69Crazyfists]

(Original post by Spartacus Mills)
As far as casual sex goes, in my house (about 70 people) there really wasn't that much..

You make it sound like you kept tabs on all 69 of the other residents

[Spartacus Mills]

(Original post by 69Crazyfists)
You make it sound like you kept tabs on all 69 of the other residents

Hahaha, not really but word gets around, usually more from flatmates taking the piss than people boasting about it. Although it's funny you should say that, one of my mates went back to a girl's flat only to find a personal tally chart on her bedroom wall of people she'd slept with, he was about number 6.

[69Crazyfists]

(Original post by Spartacus Mills)
Hahaha, not really but word gets around, usually more from flatmates taking the piss than people boasting about it. Although it's funny you should say that, one of my mates went back to a girl's flat only to find a personal tally chart on her bedroom wall of people she'd slept with, he was about number 6.

Jesus... What a shlag.

[sachinisgod]

(Original post by Spartacus Mills)
Hahaha, not really but word gets around, usually more from flatmates taking the piss than people boasting about it. Although it's funny you should say that, one of my mates went back to a girl's flat only to find a personal tally chart on her bedroom wall of people she'd slept with, he was about number 6.

hahahahaha.

[Nesselphie]

In freshers I went out to be sociable but i hardly drank at all. i saved alot of money and didn't get too ill over the fortnight tbh

If you're drinking/hooking up with someone because you feel pressured to do so, there's something wrong and you should stop. TBH I know people who made out with strangers in clubs and it comes back to haunt them X)

[zimmy]

I find drinking completely pointless in the social life, as long as you're fairly relaxed, confident on yourself and with no inhibitions. It's normal that you'll get a beer or two, but exaggerating can leave holes in your budget as well as in your health (as I have noticed, no one is aware of the health problems that can occur from drinking regularly)

As about casual sex, I'm already in a relationship that seems to be going to last forever, so I would not try this experience...it depends a lot on you though.

As an advice, try to make the best of all, but always be rational. I suppose that's the key of integrating in the society among which you're going to live for your next 3/4 years.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my HTC Desire HD A9191

[littleone271]

I'm pretty sure people don't suddenly have a personality transplant when they go to university and it's not that uncommon for a young person to not enjoy getting completely wasted. It's certainly not uncommon for a student to be against casual sex.

If you'd like some reassurance then have a look around at some of the threads on here because I've read an awful lot of comments written by people who are worried about university because they're shy and apparently some people actually graduate with their virginity. There are loads of long distance relationship stories too so you won't be the only person there who is in a relationship.

You'll meet and get chatting to so many different people from all over the place that will all be open to making friends that making friends you have things in common with is a statistical certainty.

I worry about things like who I'm going to be living with and I think everyone hates the idea of feeling lonely and left out but what we need to remember is that we're all in the same boat and everybody is going to want to make friends and have fun.

[lothiriel]

I wouldn't worry about it too much! It's not like everyone automatically wants to get completely wasted and have casual sex in that week. Of course it depends on the person. There are also many people who just aren't into that (myself included). I don't like get extremely drunk because I hate not being in control of myself and I'm asexual so the casual sex thing... yeah, most probably not.

A lot of people seem to think that if you won't make friends if you don't get drunk at freshers. Well, it's not like all you have are those two weeks in which you have to make friends, or else! You'll have flat mates (who may potentially be of the same mind), people in your lectures and then clubs and societies. You'll be fine! Just don't try to be someone you are not because you think you have to fit in or something.

To be honest, I'm fairly nervous myself. I'm starting uni in September as well. (: