[Anonymous]

hi. firstly im not sure why im on here, but i cant sleep, and im feeling really low and upset right now and really just need to get it out to someone who doesnt know me as i cant talk to my family about this. it may also be a bit long so i apologise in advance, i just need to get my feelings out i think.

anyway. i think i need help. iv been pretty down on and off, mostly on for the last few years and today it got really bad. i just found out theres a chance i may be discontinued from my course (something to do with a lack of confidence at times and not having the greatest communication skills with everybody all the time, so im pretty much screwed and i cant tell my family right now as i dont know what to say to them, especially my dad whos counting on me passing my course and i wanna see what my tutor says before i talk to them anyway). so i left my placement early today as i felt i couldnt carry on till the end of my shift that evening and needed to sort my head out. this ended up with me crying my eyes out all afternoon and basically feeling like i had had enough of everything. I've been feeling so low that i realised i needed serious help so will probably be going to my doctor tomorrow if i can get an appointment, which will be hard as i dont like talking about my feelings with anyone and usually keep it all to myself. also its not just about my course that i did it, its a build up of several things all together and just feeling tired/exhausted both mentally and physically, and like i am suffocated and just want to escape from it all.

anyway, a little bit of background - for the past couple of weeks iv been really really down. like crying for no reason, feeling really tired and with no energy, though i never really sleep for more than 2-3 hours but normally have lots of energy anyway. im in a town in which i pretty much know nobody, theres the people on my course im friends with, but were not massively close and i basically have no-one up here to turn to. i have very little confidence in myself a lot of the time and am often really anxious about things - like having no money, going new places, approaching new people, etc. i am also in constant pain due to having spinal hypermobility syndrome, which is a condition that affects my back and joints and is really painful a lot of the time. its been really bad recently as it has really bad stages and not so bad stages, and it just feels like im not in control of my body, as my muscles keep spasming and shaking (not sure how to discribe it but like my arm or my leg will suddenly spasm or jolt out suddenly and my limbs often shake for no particular reason, it worries me and feels like i have no control over what it does sometimes). im just sick of smiling and pretending its all ok while inside i feel like its anything but and that im a total failure.

[Sultana]

I'm sorry your feeling like this, its not nice. Going to the doctors is definitely the right thing to do, it is scary but they will be used to people finding it hard to talk about things and should help guide you along. I hope you managed to make an appointment and it goes well for you, its a really positive first step accepting you have a problem and asking for help so well done!

Is your tutor aware of the difficulties your facing at the moment? If you can talk about them with him/her they should be able to put support in place for you and give you a few concessions, if your honest with them I don't think they would kick you out.

Good luck with everything, and I hope things work out for you.

[staytuff]

Hey sometimes life throws stuff at us, and it all gets a bit overwhelming. Happens to most of us. Now there's no sugar coating this but it's all in your mind and how you chose to deal with it.
If you think you can't deal with it seek professional help immediately ! There's nothing to feel awkward about it. These people are trained to hep you deal with emotions and help keep things under control.

If you don't want to do that, i would suggest listening to some calming music. Especially classical music, maybe the piano or some jazz. It would definitely help calm your nerves and help you to think more clearly.

Sometimes you might not feel like approaching your family but do remember that they're the bunch of people who are going to stick with you no matter what, so it might be wise to seek their help at some point. If not, at least hang out with a few friends and do something fun to forget your troubles. After a while slowly think about what you want to do next.

Hope this stuff helps.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Sultana)
I'm sorry your feeling like this, its not nice. Going to the doctors is definitely the right thing to do, it is scary but they will be used to people finding it hard to talk about things and should help guide you along. I hope you managed to make an appointment and it goes well for you, its a really positive first step accepting you have a problem and asking for help so well done!

Is your tutor aware of the difficulties your facing at the moment? If you can talk about them with him/her they should be able to put support in place for you and give you a few concessions, if your honest with them I don't think they would kick you out.

Good luck with everything, and I hope things work out for you.

thanks for your kind words.
i guess im just not used to telling people how im feeling so im kinda worried about talking to my doctor, but iv been feeling this way for about 7 years now and its just all come to a head again these last few weeks, so i think iv finally just had enough and ready to get some help with it all. i have a gp appointment for tomorrow cos i couldnt get an appointment today, and still no difference in my mood as iv been in tears again for most of the day so i definately need to do something about it.

my tutor was at the meeting on wednesday in which they told me about the possibility of being discontinued, its gotta go to review board i think, but i was that upset when i found out it was all a bit of a blur so she asked me to see her on tuesday about it so im gonna hopefully sit down and talk about it all with her and see where i go from here.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by staytuff)
Hey sometimes life throws stuff at us, and it all gets a bit overwhelming. Happens to most of us. Now there's no sugar coating this but it's all in your mind and how you chose to deal with it.
If you think you can't deal with it seek professional help immediately ! There's nothing to feel awkward about it. These people are trained to hep you deal with emotions and help keep things under control.

If you don't want to do that, i would suggest listening to some calming music. Especially classical music, maybe the piano or some jazz. It would definitely help calm your nerves and help you to think more clearly.

Sometimes you might not feel like approaching your family but do remember that they're the bunch of people who are going to stick with you no matter what, so it might be wise to seek their help at some point. If not, at least hang out with a few friends and do something fun to forget your troubles. After a while slowly think about what you want to do next.

Hope this stuff helps.

hi, thankyou for your advice.

i know that a lot of it is in my head, i told myself that for ages but after 7 years of this its just not going away and is only getting worse so i need help i think. plus some of it is new and definately not in my head, but i get what your saying. im off to my gp tomorrow as im just drained from it all, both physically and mentally.

going to my family just isnt natural to me, and there are some things i just cant bring myself to tell them. i will go to them eventually, well certain people anyway, i just really need to know what my options are and figure out how to before i can talk to them about it. im going to my sisters on saturday for a couple of days, which may help as it will mean im not up here on my own with everything going over and over in my head constantly and having these bad thoughts.

[Anonymous]

so i went to my gp, he was surprisingly understanding, which im not used to. i told him everything....everything thats going wrong in my life, how i dont sleep, havent been eating lately,how alone im feeling and in pain i feel, that i just want to stay in bed all day and shut the world out, that iv been harming myself since i was 13, and that iv been having dark thoughts about ending it all, etc.

he was extremely concerned about me but he was lovely and very kind about it all. he then asked me what i want to do and i told him i want to get help so he has referred me to a psychiatric clinic in my area for some support and to try to help me figure it all out. 20 minutes after i left my gp i got a call from the lady he referred me to, she was gonna see me on monday but as im seeing my tutor on tuesday about my course im gonna see her on wednesday instead as i may have a clearer view of whats gonna happen on that front by then.

[staytuff]

(Original post by Anonymous)
so i went to my gp, he was surprisingly understanding, which im not used to. i told him everything....everything thats going wrong in my life, how i dont sleep, havent been eating lately,how alone im feeling and in pain i feel, that i just want to stay in bed all day and shut the world out, that iv been harming myself since i was 13, and that iv been having dark thoughts about ending it all, etc.

he was extremely concerned about me but he was lovely and very kind about it all. he then asked me what i want to do and i told him i want to get help so he has referred me to a psychiatric clinic in my area for some support and to try to help me figure it all out. 20 minutes after i left my gp i got a call from the lady he referred me to, she was gonna see me on monday but as im seeing my tutor on tuesday about my course im gonna see her on wednesday instead as i may have a clearer view of whats gonna happen on that front by then.

Glad you're doing this like an adult

I'm sure you'll get over all your problems soon. Always remember, tough times don't last, but tough people do !

[Sultana]

(Original post by Anonymous)
so i went to my gp, he was surprisingly understanding, which im not used to. i told him everything....everything thats going wrong in my life, how i dont sleep, havent been eating lately,how alone im feeling and in pain i feel, that i just want to stay in bed all day and shut the world out, that iv been harming myself since i was 13, and that iv been having dark thoughts about ending it all, etc.

he was extremely concerned about me but he was lovely and very kind about it all. he then asked me what i want to do and i told him i want to get help so he has referred me to a psychiatric clinic in my area for some support and to try to help me figure it all out. 20 minutes after i left my gp i got a call from the lady he referred me to, she was gonna see me on monday but as im seeing my tutor on tuesday about my course im gonna see her on wednesday instead as i may have a clearer view of whats gonna happen on that front by then.

Well done for going to the GP, that's a really positive step. Hopefully your appointment will go well and you will get a plan in place.

Good luck with your tutor as well, I still recommend letting them know what your going through right now; it might be that there's nothing they can do at this late stage, but in my experience they are generally pretty supportive of mental health issues.