[Anonymous]

How to I gain confidence in my personality? I'm fine with my looks and body. I'm not perfect - far from it - but I've accepted the physical aspects of myself. However, I'm still really shy and it's because I'm insecure with my personality. I think I'm a boring, socially awkward person. There are three slightly autistic people (one being my Dad) in my family of 6 so I've not had the best role-models for learning social skills so I feel a bit stunted.

I'm polite and no good etiquette so that aspect of me is fine. It's just continuing conversations and saying responses which consist of more than one word. I also struggle with 'letting my hair down' and looking stupid. I went to a concert and I was too insecure to sing and dance like my friends, it was the most awkward 2 hours of my life haha.

It's even to the extent where I don't tell people my music, film or TV tastes or who I fancy (both celeb and non-celebs). I'm just worried about them judging my taste. Even when I go shopping with friends I never buy anything or say "ooh I like that" because I'm worried. I just wait and then buy it when I'm with my family or something.

I also can never say 'oh he was hot'. I think it's because I grew up with my parents not showing any love to eachother or something. If a friend goes 'oh Katy Perry is so pretty' I can agree. But once it's a guy, I just awkwardly change the subject. It's like I'm embarrassed to be attracted to someone?

Does anyone have any advice? It's sad knowing how little my friends know about me because of this.

[stellardesigf]

Stand your ground, and don't really care what anybody else thinks.

[blondyx]

Hiya. I am sure you have a great personality. Your friends wouldn't be your friends if you didn't. Have you been to uni? That would really help. If you feel like you are boring, try and do more things so you have more to talk about it. Is it just your friends you feel awkward around? maybe you are with the wrong people. I used to find I felt really shy and socially awkward around some of my friends from college. I thought it was just me, but then I became close to other people and I felt alot more comfortable.
Maybe just try and say what you think more, and you will realise there is nothing weird about things you say.

[Joeman560]

(Original post by stellardesigf)
Stand your ground, and don't really care what anybody else thinks.

Worst advice ever.

[Millie228]

Stand up for yourself. Katy Perry is not pretty.

I think you need to do this step by step and carefully get used to disagree, take things easily, find your own voice. And most of all realize that the worst possible scenario in the situations you describe is not horrible at all. Someone may disagree, or look at you in a weird way. But most likely they won't be rude at all.

[GuitarWizard]

I have zero social skills as well and socially fail. Talking about it helps and just going for it and putting yourself in the environments you find hard the most it wil help. Having zero social skills and going to Uni this year was tough but it helped a little started to gain very little skills but no where near enough but I know its in the right direction

[079]

(Original post by Millie228)
Stand up for yourself. Katy Perry is not pretty.

I think you need to do this step by step and carefully get used to disagree, take things easily, find your own voice. And most of all realize that the worst possible scenario in the situations you describe is not horrible at all. Someone may disagree, or look at you in a weird way. But most likely they won't be rude at all.

She is very pretty.

[Bollo's Lovechild]

(Original post by 079)
She is very pretty.

Nah, she looks plastic and with too much makeup.

Sorry to drag the thread off topic even further. I think I am going to try this 'disagree or stand your ground' thing and see if it works

[jeery83]

Autism can run in families, OP. Have you been checked to see if your on the spectrum?

There are several way to combat a lack of confidence. To save me writing them out, just read this: http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence

You are not alone; lots of people feel a unconfident about various things. I especially wouldn't worry about the dancing/singing at a concert. I personally find dancing etc. weird and know lots of regular people that just aren't into it.
Appreciate and focus on the good things about yourself and do the things you enjoy.

[hiding12]

(Original post by Anonymous)
How to I gain confidence in my personality? I'm fine with my looks and body. I'm not perfect - far from it - but I've accepted the physical aspects of myself. However, I'm still really shy and it's because I'm insecure with my personality. I think I'm a boring, socially awkward person. There are three slightly autistic people (one being my Dad) in my family of 6 so I've not had the best role-models for learning social skills so I feel a bit stunted.

I'm polite and no good etiquette so that aspect of me is fine. It's just continuing conversations and saying responses which consist of more than one word. I also struggle with 'letting my hair down' and looking stupid. I went to a concert and I was too insecure to sing and dance like my friends, it was the most awkward 2 hours of my life haha.

It's even to the extent where I don't tell people my music, film or TV tastes or who I fancy (both celeb and non-celebs). I'm just worried about them judging my taste. Even when I go shopping with friends I never buy anything or say "ooh I like that" because I'm worried. I just wait and then buy it when I'm with my family or something.

I also can never say 'oh he was hot'. I think it's because I grew up with my parents not showing any love to eachother or something. If a friend goes 'oh Katy Perry is so pretty' I can agree. But once it's a guy, I just awkwardly change the subject. It's like I'm embarrassed to be attracted to someone?

Does anyone have any advice? It's sad knowing how little my friends know about me because of this.

Hhm, I would just say relax and be yourself, cliche but true. I mean when people get older and mature you realise variety is the spice of life and that t would be boring if everyone had the same personality and looks. So what if you're slightly unusual, use that to your advantage and become a bit eccentric. But yeah, not sure what else to advise