[omgg]

YOLO!

[alis-volatpropriis]

Well my mother told me to hang myself, when I was in primary school.
She's once said, that if she was the same age as me, she would go out of her way to bully me. She's also told me she wish I was never born.

I've heard all of that and more soo many times..
After a while I've become normalised to it.

OP your mother, probably doesn't mean it. She is probably very angry that you went against your cultural tradition. But at the end of the day, it's your body and your life. If you keep living your life for your mother, then you won't be happy.
Seriously my mother used to accuse me of having boyfriends and sleeping around. Which was impossible because I was at home if I wasn't at school.
To be honest, the fact that she feels hurt. It shows that she really cares about you. You should talk to her when she is calm and sort things out. Good luck.

[alis-volatpropriis]

(Original post by hevlar.kelmet)
She can't tell you to go to hell if she's dead.

Just sayin'.

You're suggesting that she kills her mother?

[Safx]

I can understand why you feel so frustrated, you need to talk to her properly just say look let me just say what I need to say without interrupting. Let her know she's emotionally hurting you. As for her saying go to hell, just take it on the chin parents say stuff like that more than you think
Once my mum told me she wish she never prayed to god for a girl...back then I was like whaaaaaat! Now it's a bit fat

LOLLLL oh mother!

[hevlar.kelmet]

(Original post by alis-volatpropriis)
You're suggesting that she kills her mother?

I'm simply making a truthful observation sir, anything you read out of it is from yourself.

[Luxray]

All I can offer is empathy. I have a pretty bad relationship with my mother, she's told she wished I died several times.

[PinkyPurply]

My mum tells me that she loves the dog more than me

[silent ninja]

Why don't you post on an American site. Your spelling of mum is so annoying. Do you say "aloominum" as well.

[JammyChoos]

You had an argument and things were said in the heat of the moment..She said that because of the fact that in indian cultures, sex before marriage is a no-no. She probably feels like she's done a bad job parenting since you dont live up to her expectations. Just because you lost your virginity does not make you a slut. You need to realise that being told to go to hell is not that bad as you feel like it is. Reassure your mum that you are in control of yourself and that your not jumping of the bandwagon.
MORE importantly make up with your mum. She IS your mum. What if she had a heart attack? The last words you said to her may have not been the words you wanted to say. Hope it helps x

[Reformed2010]

I've had more sexual partners than you can count on two hands. My mum doesn't know the exact number, but she know's if I was girl I'd probably be, unfairly in my opinion, called a slut. But at the end of the day, what harm is it actually doing? as long as your not having unprotected sex, pressuring or being pressured, what harm is it actually doing? It's pleasurable. People brand the word whore or slut around, but in all seriousness it's just a way of covering up their irrational-based opinions. People need to stop ratcheting up sex into this super-big-deal. Okay for some it is, but for many of us it really isn't. It's just another thing we, as humans can and enjoy to do. Why can't those of us who enjoy it, get on with our lives and those stuck in the 1920's get on with their own lives? everyone is happy, no one is actually hurt.

Onto your mother, obviously she is constrained by her cultural and own conceptions of morality. But if having sex deserves eternal damnation and torment in hell, for her own flesh and blood. I'd question her own judgement on morality. But to be honest with you, I and a lot others have had to endure worst remarks from our parents. My mum once said she wish she went ahead with aborting me. But she said it in anger, we were arguing and emotional-charged insults fly around all the time. Try to give her some time, she might calm down and realise she is literally getting angry over a minor thing.

[throughthemonsoon]

my dad told me to go to hell because I commented on something he called me. What can you do? *shrug* some parents just aren't nice people

[kaypc]

(Original post by Anonymous)
My mother and I have a very up and down relationship, but I don't think that excuses her from saying that to me.

There's a LOT of background to our relationship but I don't want this post to be too long so I'll try give the gist...

Basically, since she found out I lost my virginity (I'm Indian so this is a big deal in our culture [I was 20 when I lost it and I'm nearly 22 now]) our relationship has been in tatters. She doesn't trust me at all and thinks I'm lying to her all the time (her actual words). Thing is, she was imagining all sorts- she thought I was having sex all the time but the truth was that it only happened ONCE (and it wasn't even what you'd call a proper experience). So I had to tell her the truth, that yes I lost it but it only happened the once, because I thought that was better than what she was making up in her head. But I don't know if she even believed me.

But anyway, since then it's just been bad. In short, she thinks I'm a slut who goes out 'acting shamefully' and doing all sorts. I'm not and I've told her this but of course, she doesn't believe me. She's just got a grudge against me now and always thinks badly of me; it doesn't matter what I say or do.

I don't know why she's like this but she makes so many assumptions and considers them to be truths. She's always saying "I know what you get upto, I know this, I know that, I KNOW." And I tell her that she doesn't know anything; she's not there to see me when I'm out so how can she possibly know anything? They're all assumptions and **** she's making up in her head and it's unfair on me!

So last Friday, I was going to stay with a friend at University for the weekend. I told her this on Thursday night (as it was a last minute decision) and we ended up having an argument- her saying stuff about 'knowing' that I act shamefully again (and loads more). I tried to stay calm, but I'm so sick to death of hearing that crap. I asked her to stop because she's still making assumptions etc etc, and it ended up with her shouting at me telling me to do whatever I want and go to hell.

I was shocked, really. I never said anything back, just walked away. But that was the last thing she said to me before I left to go stay with my friend- she never saw me the rest of the night or the following morning. What if my coach had crashed and I'd been injured or worse? Her last words to me would have been "Go to hell". She's said similar stuff, during arguments, to my older brother when he was in his late teens. He was bad and I'm nowhere near as bad as he was, but even then, what kind of mother says things like that to her own children?

I don't really know what the point of this thread is... I guess I just need a rant. I'm just stressed out because we haven't spoken since then (nor do I want to) but there's a wedding this weekend and I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to get through it! There's no-one else my age that I can hang around with so I'll be stuck with her and it'll be more than awkward.

Ugh. I'm desperately looking for a job and I really want to move out, but until that becomes even close to a reality, what can I do?

wow, my mum is the same and similar sort of culture where sex before marriage is frowned upon, although i'm still a virgin she thinks i'm some kind of prostitute all because of 1 phone convo i had with a friend about a boy and she caught the wrong end of it and started making assumptions. after things have cooled off between you two, try not to kick off arguments or if she's in a bad mood or starts saying she knows what your up to just ignore it- that's what i do. gets tiring after a while trying to defend yourself constantly. with regards to your brothers behavior, mothers are usually more strict on girls than boys, its a cultural thing. very unfair but not much can be done about it.

[Anonymous]

my mum used to say horrible things to me, and at the time i would get so upset i would write it all down.

Stuff like 'she's a bully' when she was talking to other people refer to me as 'that little bitch' or outright to tell me to **** off.

Other times i would hear her saying 'why would i want to sit at a table with her' or 'she's a disgusting, selfish horrible brat' 'she's makes me feel uncomfortable' 'you want nothing more than to see me fail in life'

Ridiculous things, i guess i got over it. You soon realise they don't actually mean it, or i hope not haaha