(Original post by Anonymous)
My mother and I have a very up and down relationship, but I don't think that excuses her from saying that to me.
There's a LOT of background to our relationship but I don't want this post to be too long so I'll try give the gist...
Basically, since she found out I lost my virginity (I'm Indian so this is a big deal in our culture [I was 20 when I lost it and I'm nearly 22 now]) our relationship has been in tatters. She doesn't trust me at all and thinks I'm lying to her all the time (her actual words). Thing is, she was imagining all sorts- she thought I was having sex all the time but the truth was that it only happened ONCE (and it wasn't even what you'd call a proper experience). So I had to tell her the truth, that yes I lost it but it only happened the once, because I thought that was better than what she was making up in her head. But I don't know if she even believed me.
But anyway, since then it's just been bad. In short, she thinks I'm a slut who goes out 'acting shamefully' and doing all sorts. I'm not and I've told her this but of course, she doesn't believe me. She's just got a grudge against me now and always thinks badly of me; it doesn't matter what I say or do.
I don't know why she's like this but she makes so many assumptions and considers them to be truths. She's always saying "I know
what you get upto, I know
this, I know
that, I KNOW
." And I tell her that she doesn't know
anything; she's not there to see me when I'm out so how can she possibly know anything? They're all assumptions and **** she's making up in her head and it's unfair on me!
So last Friday, I was going to stay with a friend at University for the weekend. I told her this on Thursday night (as it was a last minute decision) and we ended up having an argument- her saying stuff about 'knowing' that I act shamefully again (and loads more). I tried to stay calm, but I'm so sick to death of hearing that crap. I asked her to stop because she's still making assumptions etc etc, and it ended up with her shouting at me telling me to do whatever I want and go to hell.
I was shocked, really. I never said anything back, just walked away. But that was the last thing she said to me before I left to go stay with my friend- she never saw me the rest of the night or the following morning. What if my coach had crashed and I'd been injured or worse? Her last words to me would have been "Go to hell". She's said similar stuff, during arguments, to my older brother when he was in his late teens. He was bad and I'm nowhere near as bad as he was, but even then, what kind of mother says things like that to her own children?
I don't really know what the point of this thread is... I guess I just need a rant. I'm just stressed out because we haven't spoken since then (nor do I want to) but there's a wedding this weekend and I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to get through it! There's no-one else my age that I can hang around with so I'll be stuck with her and it'll be more than awkward.
Ugh. I'm desperately looking for a job and I really want to move out, but until that becomes even close to a reality, what can I do?