[Wilfred Little]

Does this annoy anyone else?

Now I'm not saying people shouldn't genuinely grieve (in private) if they have lost a parent or sibling who they were very close to for example but I see far too much of what can only be described as forced public grieving from people either trying too hard to portray an image of decency, or looking for attention and it really annoys me.

Take celebrities for example. When a celebrity (MJ, Amy Winehouse, whoever) dies it's like the celeb world on Twitter competes to see who can post the most sincere message as quickly as possible and let the world know how devastated they are, so devastated you are sat on Twitter

The aftermath of the Muamba incident was painfully awkward too. People saying they are "proud of how Spurs fans conducted themselves", let's be honest, they were hardly going to get the party rings and musical chairs out were they? Most people didn't even know who he was at the start of the day. And professional footballers wearing Muamba t-shirts during matches and revealing them if they scored just comes across as forced and a bit tacky. How many people have had a relative die or suffer a cardiac arrest and their first thought is "I have just got to get a t-shirt done about this"

And I'm sure we've all seen those annoying people on social networks posting messages about dead relatives "I miss you so much everyday r.i.p. nan xxx" . The same people posting that, wouldn't write it on Notepad and save the document or post it if they had no Facebook friends at all, they're posting it because they want people to see it and either sympathise with them or want people to think they are decent, when the reality is they probably care very little. It's not genuine at all. And why do people make tribute pages on the internet? All you're doing is opening yourself up to people like this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...liam-Kate.html

When did it become required and the norm to publicly grieve so often? Why is it necessary to tell everyone on your friends list how much you miss your gran who died five years ago who you saw three times or that it's the anniversary of the death of dear, old uncle what'shisname? Do people really care that much? If you're seriously that upset, why not just keep it to yourself and get over it?

[Fusion]

trite
   /traɪt/ Show Spelled[trahyt] Show IPA
adjective, trit·er, trit·est.
1.
lacking in freshness or effectiveness because of constant use or excessive repetition; hackneyed; stale: the trite phrases in his letter.

100% agree with you.

Apparently the football community united when Gary Speed died...whatever

[Wilfred Little]

(Original post by Fusion)
trite
   /traɪt/ Show Spelled[trahyt] Show IPA
adjective, trit·er, trit·est.
1.
lacking in freshness or effectiveness because of constant use or excessive repetition; hackneyed; stale: the trite phrases in his letter.

100% agree with you.

Apparently the football community united when Gary Speed died...whatever

You can say that again.

Oh, you've deleted your duplicate post

Yeah the Speed thing is another example.

[IanDangerously]

Agree 100% but yet people in society today just seem to accept this mass public grieving as normal. The worst example of this phenomenon seems to be seen in Liverpool where almost everything their football club has done over the past 23 years has been linked in or connected to the events of the Hillsborough tragedy by some of their fans. I'd estimate the average local LFC supporter makes mention of the tragedy three times a week at least on the internet. Why? Who knows, to make them feel like they're morally superior people because they're so compassionate for the dead I suppose.

It's not just them though of course, the Muamba, Gary Speed, Marc Foe etc incidents are all examples as well. Incidentally, we do pay respect to our tragedy once a year on the anniversary but without making a big song and dance about it. Only on the 40th and 50th was it made into a big deal.

[Nephilim]

The dislike for this must be a very British thing. It's pretty much the norm for most cultures. People have the right to grieve in any (non-violent) way they wish.

[NDGAARONDI]

(Original post by Wilfred Little)
Yeah the Speed thing is another example.

Like Steve Jobs you mean? I mean he wasn't even a revolutionary as a fair number of people were saying he was, just an awesome marketing dude.

[Wilfred Little]

(Original post by NDGAARONDI)
Like Steve Jobs you mean? I mean he wasn't even a revolutionary as a fair number of people were saying he was, just an awesome marketing dude.

Sort of.

Here's an example:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/cele...y-tribute.html

Singer and actress Kelly Osbourne wrote: "i cant even breath right now im crying so hard i just lost 1 of my best friends. i love you forever Amy & will never forget the real you!"

[NDGAARONDI]

(Original post by Wilfred Little)
Sort of.

Here's an example:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/cele...y-tribute.html

I know. I wouldn't mind so much with the MJ grieving so much if people actually cared for him and stood by him during his court case. And then all the radios playing his stuff when he's gone to the point where I felt it was a fake gesture.

[Kalliope]

(Original post by Nephilim)
The dislike for this must be a very British thing. It's pretty much the norm for most cultures. People have the right to grieve in any (non-violent) way they wish.

This

[Wilfred Little]

Grieving is fine when it's genuine. All the examples I gave are more about creating the image of appearing to care in the hope of scoring points.

[abbyheat]

Grief, like lots of other emotions, is socially constructed to some degree. It's human nature to be sad when someone dies but the classic British 'reserve' or the wailing and throwing yourself in the floor that happens in other cultures is all how society has taught people to grieve. The public grief thing is a sign of the times , we live in a media society so grief is played out through the media.

I agree though, I do think grieving should be a very private matter.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[Wilfred Little]

I have been negged.

r.i.p. ma rep, a sad loss xoxox

[facetious]

(Original post by Wilfred Little)
If you're seriously that upset, why not just keep it to yourself and get over it?

Not really sure what you mean by this, but I mostly agree with your post. Whenever I see someone post on facebook how they 'miss someone so much, rip' etc etc, it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable with how tacky it all is, especially when their 'friends' start 'liking' the post, or saying 'oh so sorry for your loss hope youre ok'.

But then on the other hand, I think maybe it helps them in some way - just because its something I'd personally never do, doesnt mean it doesnt help anyone.. but sadly mostly the statuses seem to be more attention seeking than anything.

[barnetlad]

Up until the death of Princess Diana in this country at least it seemed a very private thing largely. Internet messages are one thing and you can avoid them mostly. What I think is wrong is what is described as 'grief tourism', the people who visited Soham after Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman were killed, or Gloucester when the West's activities were discovered.

[TheSownRose]

(Original post by barnetlad)
Up until the death of Princess Diana in this country at least it seemed a very private thing largely.

That was just embarrassing, the way the nation conducted itself when Diana died.

The point isn't how much you actually care anymore, it's about how much you can make other people aware that you care. It's not entirely dissimilar to my theory on why people sit next to operating theatres whilst their loved ones are having surgery and so forth: it's so they can demonstrate to everyone walking by that they're worried.

[Einheri]

I dislike it too, and the "celebrities" rushing to post their grief on Twitter is just crass.

[jumpingjesusholycow]

Lol...

[. . .]

(Original post by jumpingjesusholycow)
Lol...

Some facts about him.

According to his official biographers, his birth in Baekdu Mountain was prophesied by a swallow and heralded with a double rainbow and a new star in the heavens.

Minju Joson, a North Korean newspaper, reported once that Kim invented a product described as "double bread with meat" and created factories to produce them in order to feed his students and teachers. Some observers noted it was very similar to an American-hamburger.

According to his biography, he first picked up a golf club in 1994, at North Korea's only golf course, and shot a 38-under par round that included no fewer than 11 holes in one. Satisfied with his performance, he reportedly immediately declared his retirement from the sport.

[jumpingjesusholycow]

(Original post by . . .)
Some facts about him.

According to his official biographers, his birth in Baekdu Mountain was prophesied by a swallow and heralded with a double rainbow and a new star in the heavens.

Minju Joson, a North Korean newspaper, reported once that Kim invented a product described as "double bread with meat" and created factories to produce them in order to feed his students and teachers. Some observers noted it was very similar to an American-hamburger.

According to his biography, he first picked up a golf club in 1994, at North Korea's only golf course, and shot a 38-under par round that included no fewer than 11 holes in one. Satisfied with his performance, he reportedly immediately declared his retirement from the sport.

Interesting stuff. Found this meme when Googling "double bread with meat", it made me Lul: