(Original post by The Socktor)
Admittedly we may have to change our name later on (suggestions are welcome). But well, for now let's get down to business:
1. We support a progressive income tax. However, unlike the socialists who hate freedom, we believe it should be progressive in favour of the wealth producers; statistically the poorest 1% earn on average £5600 a year, whereas the wealthiest 1% earn £149000. This means the wealthiest 1% earn around 26.6 times what the poorest 1% earn, and so rightfully the poorest 1% should pay 26.6 times what the wealthiest 1% pay in order to ensure that everyone pays their fair share and is not scrounger off others.
2. Creationism to supplant evolution in schools. Anyone convicted of preaching this nonsense shall be sent to live in the wilderness where we can really see if they are the "fittest" and thus able to survive according to their dogma.
3. Though the Troll Party agrees that the death penalty is wrong as it does not punish people enough, we feel that a proper deterrent is needed to prevent drug abuse, sexual immorality and other unforgivable crimes. Therefore, we propose having them locked in a room with nothing and no-one but food, water, and a loudspeaker with a Justin Beiber album being played on a loop and on full volume. This will continue until their death. If that's not a deterrent, we don't know what is.
4. Help prevent the New World Order by removing all environmental legislation. We thank Lord Monckton for opening our eyes on this.
5. The Isle of Man to be renamed the Isle of Germs, as they are likely the most common organism there.
So far these are all the policies in our manifesto. However, we encourage others to propose other brilliant policies.
People interested in joining the Troll Party: