[Anonymous]

Basically, I am a British born oriental girl who obviously grew up in England!
My mum has always been telling me about the whole issue that I need to go out with an Asian looking guy and get married to him!!! My mum said he could be British born like me but as long as he looks Oriental then its fine!! WTF!! Seriously!

I love my mum so much and I understand my mum never wants something bad for me!

However, today I put a photo that our group took when we went out last week as my skype profile pic. My mum immediately called, emailed, texted me and BEGGING me to get the photo down!!!! The reason is because I was standing quite close to another white guy who is my friend's boy friend!! My mum said my mum worried that my relatives would see the photo and start making bad stuffs up!!! WTF! I explained to my mum so many times hes not even my BF! My mum ended up saying please dont make her hurt!

Oh dear! I feel so bad now! I am a 1st year medic and I am seriously mature enough to at least put a photo as my profile pic!

I dont know what to do! I love my mum and this is like the 1st time ever I got so angry!

[Yoko Ono]

Can you not block your mum from looking at your Facebook profile? It's really none of her business now that you're an adult. If you can't block her, maybe placate her by replacing it with a different one. It's sad that people think like this nowadays, but your mum is obviously of a different era, so try not to blame her or get angry.

[Flying Cookie]

It's her problem and frankly you should question her about putting her relatives above you.

[gagaslilmonsteruk]

Maybe it has something to do with the possibility your Mum may have been bought up in a society with different values and ethics. Yes it is wrong to be racist, but she may not realise she is being racist. Talk the situation out with her. At the end of the day, there's only so much she can say, and its not like she can make that decision for you. Maybe, you should introduce your Mum to some friends of yours from various ethnicities so that she realises she was wrong. Don't judge a book by it's cover etc. If you get what I mean.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Yoko Ono)
Can you not block your mum from looking at your Facebook profile? It's really none of her business now that you're an adult. If you can't block her, maybe placate her by replacing it with a different one. It's sad that people think like this nowadays, but your mum is obviously of a different era, so try not to blame her or get angry.

(Original post by Flying Cookie)
It's her problem and frankly you should question her about putting her relatives above you.

I can easily change my profile pic but I feel like my mum is going over the line! It is such a small thing but my mum got all so annoyed about it!!!! That guy is not even my BF... No matter how much I told her...

I feel like I am insulted and I feel like I dont even have the right to choose who I hang out with... Then what if I was really going out with a white guy!??!? My mum would kill herself, she said!?

I really want to do something as I have been compressed by the thoughts for so long!

[CherryCherryBoomBoom]

I find it strange when someone is an ethnic minority in a country that they bring their children up in, but then are totally against the idea of them possibly having an interracial relationship

I don't really know what to advise tbh. You're not doing anything wrong, you just have some annoying relatives, so only thing I can think of is maybe just blocking them on Skype if they keep gicing you grief over the picture.

[OSharp]

This seems very much like her problem, not yours.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
I find it strange when someone is an ethnic minority in a country that they bring their children up in, but then are totally against the idea of them possibly having an interracial relationship

I don't really know what to advise tbh. You're not doing anything wrong, you just have some annoying relatives, so only thing I can think of is maybe just blocking them on Skype if they keep gicing you grief over the picture.

Tbh, I know many other oriental families around me ( Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese, Korean ect ect ) their parents all have the similar thoughts. It is just how extreme the parents believe that their children should end up with another person in the same race! Some secretly prefer that some loudly say that!

Even with my ex boyfriend who is British born Chinese, his family and my family did not feel very happy abt us! His family prefers a girl who has a Chinese surname!

So even Orientals wouldn't go out with another Oriental is not in their own sub- race!!!

I am going mad seriously! I need to find a way to let my mum know that It is highly unlikely that I would go out with another Oriental guy in my own race!!!!

[OSharp]

So tell her.

say

'Mum you are being draconian, in 5 years time I will be a doctor, I think that if I am given the responsibility to make life and death decisions, I can decide who is best for me.'

Mind you I never really understand the nuances of human interaction

[Sovix]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Basically, I am a British born oriental girl who obviously grew up in England!
My mum has always been telling me about the whole issue that I need to go out with an Asian looking guy and get married to him!!! My mum said he could be British born like me but as long as he looks Oriental then its fine!! WTF!! Seriously!

I love my mum so much and I understand my mum never wants something bad for me!

However, today I put a photo that our group took when we went out last week as my skype profile pic. My mum immediately called, emailed, texted me and BEGGING me to get the photo down!!!! The reason is because I was standing quite close to another white guy who is my friend's boy friend!! My mum said my mum worried that my relatives would see the photo and start making bad stuffs up!!! WTF! I explained to my mum so many times hes not even my BF! My mum ended up saying please dont make her hurt!

Oh dear! I feel so bad now! I am a 1st year medic and I am seriously mature enough to at least put a photo as my profile pic!

I dont know what to do! I love my mum and this is like the 1st time ever I got so angry!

Tell your mum this. "if you hate white people so much, why are you in the white country for?" WE ARE ALL HUMANS SO WE ALL THE SAME. Just tell her that

[Llewellyn_J]

If it was my Mum I would just say 'No. Grow up and learn to be accepting of those different from yourself.'

Luckily she isn't racist.

[jamboogy]

Unlucky, I'm a BBC too, but I've told my parents time and time again that I'm effectively going to 'un-oriental' up our family tree. I'm not attracted to oriental girls AT ALL but the thing is, they are actually cool with it.

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Basically, I am a British born oriental girl who obviously grew up in England!
My mum has always been telling me about the whole issue that I need to go out with an Asian looking guy and get married to him!!! My mum said he could be British born like me but as long as he looks Oriental then its fine!! WTF!! Seriously!

I love my mum so much and I understand my mum never wants something bad for me!

However, today I put a photo that our group took when we went out last week as my skype profile pic. My mum immediately called, emailed, texted me and BEGGING me to get the photo down!!!! The reason is because I was standing quite close to another white guy who is my friend's boy friend!! My mum said my mum worried that my relatives would see the photo and start making bad stuffs up!!! WTF! I explained to my mum so many times hes not even my BF! My mum ended up saying please dont make her hurt!

Oh dear! I feel so bad now! I am a 1st year medic and I am seriously mature enough to at least put a photo as my profile pic!

I dont know what to do! I love my mum and this is like the 1st time ever I got so angry!

Sorry, but some people's minds can't be changed. The more you argue with her about silly things like this, the more likely she will be to bring things like this up. Next time, just tell her that you're NOT taking it down, that there is NOTHING wrong with standing/being next to someone of her a different race, and that if she wants to have prejudiced (sounds nicer than racist) views, then please keep them to herself.

After that, simply don't discuss it with her. YOU have to be firm and a bit direct and then she'll at least get the picture

[Dorito]

disliking someone you don't know based on the colour of their skin...

I honestly don't understand racism, I simply can't grasp it. Your Mum is an idiot.

[pr0view]

Gotta love how hard immigrants try to integrate...

[Sparrow_Squire]

parents are well known for reacting so weirdly about stupid stuff thats not a big deal. they just do it because they want whats best for you as weirdly as it may come across i unfortunately have a hell of a lot of experience about that.. the only thing you can do is stick to your guns she'll either get used to it and come around or she'll disown you. but you cant be what she wants you are your own person dont let her make you feel otherwise x

[Angel83]

Block your mom, sounds like a stalker. Don't let anyone dictate YOUR life.

[im so academic]

Tell her that's it's your life, that you're an adult and are ready to make decisions for yourself. If she complains about a profile picture, tell her it's not even her business.

[Classical Liberal]

Tell her this.

**** OFF.

[Joeman560]

Show that bitch the back of your hand