[Propos]

sorry but she doesn't do jack for 30 years (housewife doesn't cut it for that long i'm afraid) and then in true woman golddigging style, gets 100k off your dad and is struggling to pay bills? troll surely.

[callum9999]

(Original post by kka25)
£100k wouldn't last - the property will. The value of the property will go up and up and up (if you take good care of it of course) and that's why it's a good safety nest. And if they were in a very serious trouble, then they could finally sell the house and plan something else. In my strictest view, I'd rather have a house then renting as well - it gives me a peace of mind really if something were to happen to me or my family.

Yes, you mentioned millions of people do it - that gave the impression that everyone does it therefore everyone has or would have the same circumstances and you can't complain about it; really? I'm not going to debate on this issue; only when you are a parent or have tried to raise someone would you understand the complexity of raising a family, and then you would understand saying things like; 'everyone does it' is unbelievably insensitive.

Single mother? I play your single-mother-situation with my own single-mother-situation and see if you like being compared and contrasted with such personal situation; see? Do we have the same circumstances? I don't think we have and debating it and saying 'everyone does it' is very unfair.

I don't think you got my initial point - I don't care if you'd like a nest egg, it isn't the taxpayers responsibility to buy one for you. I too would prefer to own my own home, but again it's not the point. The welfare state isn't there to provide people with what they like, it's there to provide people with what they need.

Well it's been estimated that over 100bn people have lived on the planet - so I don't think millions implies "everyone", though I do see how you came to that conclusion. I guess I should have been clearer. If you have no interest in debating the issue, why mention it at all. It's clear I don't agree with you that being a parent is "unbelievably impressive" - no matter how hard it may be.

Compare whatever you want - I couldn't care less. I merely mention that as it's an obvious example to give. I personally don't see how this is "unbelievably insensitive", and generally assume people happy to talk about it online aren't overly sensitive about it. If you are, just don't reply in the first place...

(Original post by MacLean)
Hey, what do you mean by an unsustainable lifestyle? Frankly everyone in the western world is living a unsustainable lifestyle at our rate of consumption etc.

But I feel your luring me to a political debate here when really I was only after some advice on what to do to get her into work/obtain everything she is legally entitled to in her current situation...

You have suggested sell and rent, I have said thats not ideal and will only do so if no other choice - regardless of whether you have any interest in your tax going to it or not.

Problem is your after a bit of politic debate im not right now, just practicle advice.

Unsustainable as in the outgoings are bigger than the incomings.

Nothing to do with politics - just ethics. You've already had all the advice you need, if you aren't interested then don't start talking about it...

[kka25]

(Original post by callum9999)
I don't think you got my initial point - I don't care if you'd like a nest egg, it isn't the taxpayers responsibility to buy one for you. I too would prefer to own my own home, but again it's not the point. The welfare state isn't there to provide people with what they like, it's there to provide people with what they need.

Well it's been estimated that over 100bn people have lived on the planet - so I don't think millions implies "everyone", though I do see how you came to that conclusion. I guess I should have been clearer. If you have no interest in debating the issue, why mention it at all. It's clear I don't agree with you that being a parent is "unbelievably impressive" - no matter how hard it may be.

Compare whatever you want - I couldn't care less. I merely mention that as it's an obvious example to give. I personally don't see how this is "unbelievably insensitive", and generally assume people happy to talk about it online aren't overly sensitive about it. If you are, just don't reply in the first place...



Unsustainable as in the outgoings are bigger than the incomings.

Nothing to do with politics - just ethics. You've already had all the advice you need, if you aren't interested then don't start talking about it...

Well considering the OP's mom bought it herself with her own money from the settlement, it's not the taxpayer money now isn't it? You're basing your argument in some other situation - sorry, that's flawed.

I've no interest debating with you on the topic further because the way I see it, you don't have a clue how complicated bringing up a family would be and how it effects individuals differently. It seems that you like to generalize millions-billions of people do it, therefore, we are basically molded the same and have the same exact circumstances; No.

If you don't care why mentioned it in the first place? Why even reply to a thread about families if you don't care or can't even put in one's position? Lack of empathy perhaps? Yes, perhaps that's it. Lack of empathy.
Obvious? To who? To you? If that is your attitude to 'families' and 'parenting', then we could say that we don't really care about your single mom, the struggles that she went through, or how it impacts you as a person; we don't care - do you like that? No sympathy, no support, no tolerance, no nothing.

My point in the last paragraph simply points out that all families, no matter how many millions and billions of them out there, are all different. To even give the impression that we are all the same is just simply naive and just plain insensitive.

[lukas1051]

Ignore some of the cretins in this thread, they're clearly out of touch middle class students who don't know what it's like to live without money, and think all benefits claimants are like Frank Gallagher from Shameless.

We were in a similar situation recently where our outgoing money was more than our incoming money, my mum does ironing for people and they pay her a specified price per weight of clothing, it actually generates quite a good amount of money and it's working from home so she can do it when it suits her. I hope things work out for you because I know how horrible that helpless feeling is

[xander93]

(Original post by Cll_ws)
Looking after kids would take up a lot of time I guess, you could also say that it's a skill in itself. My Mum didn't work when me and my sister were younger.

I'm thinking he means that childcare (which is a skill), catering, housekeeping, cleaning in general and other stuff are all things she has learned, therefore she has many useful skills that increase her employment prospects, she just doesn't know it.

[kka25]

(Original post by lukas1051)
Ignore some of the cretins in this thread, they're clearly out of touch middle class students who don't know what it's like to live without money, and think all benefits claimants are like Frank Gallagher from Shameless.

We were in a similar situation recently where our outgoing money was more than our incoming money, my mum does ironing for people and they pay her a specified price per weight of clothing, it actually generates quite a good amount of money and it's working from home so she can do it when it suits her. I hope things work out for you because I know how horrible that helpless feeling is

I hope that you and you're family are doing well now

Here's a for support.

[OU Student]

(Original post by MacLean)
Well i must check this with her again but i belive it is on council tax, water/elect/gas, internet, car insurance, home insurance... comes to a bit under 400 pounds I think. I think thats it.

She needs to look on a website like Uswitch for cheaper deals.

[lukas1051]

(Original post by kka25)
I hope that you and you're family are doing well now

Here's a for support.

Thank you for your concern, things are fine now

[coopsyy]

(Original post by MacLean)
Hello everyone, I don't know what to tell my mum.. It seems **** has just hit the fan for her.


Her and my Dad where married for 20-odd years then got divorced... She got about 100k cash off him and bought a small house outright. However the 20-odd years she was married to my dad she was a housewife - and was therefore not getting work experience or anything so has zero job prospects and is now in her mid 50's.

As she owns the home, the basic bills for council tax, water, electric etc come to 400 pounds'ish a month she tells me. That could be cut a bit if she was to get rid of non essential bills such as internet and sell her car therefore getting rid of car insurance (which she is just about to do).

She has managed to get a cleaning job 14hrs a week at nmw which she will be starting soon but tbh is debateable if its worthwhile as its only going to bring in a few more quid than 60 pounds benifits she currently gets. And it still isn't going to cover the bills and alow her to eat.. The boiler has just broken meaning no hot water, and has no money to pay for it to be fixed.

I don't really know what to do. I Think I may be able to help pay to sort out the boiler but I wan't to get her in a position where she can basically cover the bills and look after herself. Im have a job, but im not loaded enough to help her out much.

Up until this point she was living out of the change she got from the house, but that has just about ran out, therfore she will soon be hitting debt and I'm guessing eventualy the electricity etc will be turned off when the bills continuously are higher than the income.

Does anyone have any advise!?

Its weird because she is much better off than alot of people in that she owns a home outright, but she is 50 odd and unsklled and I don't know if she can get a job that pays enough to cover the bills.

Citizens advice would be the best place to go to find out what help is out there/what benefits she could get.

As she was a houswife, with regard to jobs, cleaning and childcare are probably her best bet. I see you said she's got a 14hr pw cleaning job, she could get another part time cleaning job around this to bring in more money. Or clean privately, usually cash in hand. Many people advertise for people to clean their house say a couple of times a week, and you can earn £10 quid an hour for this. So 10 hours a week private cleaning would give her £100 a week, on top of what she gets at nmw for the 14 hours which is just over £85 a week.

As i think i saw someone mention already, getting in a lodger/student is a good way to make money out of any spare rooms she may have. I'm pretty sure if you make under £400 pcm from renting out a room you won't be liable for capital gains tax.

Hope this helps

[nicola93]

It's an awful situation but I don't see how she could've been a housewife who raised children for 30 years? At some point in that time, she should have been able to work for a few hours or done training courses to prepare for a time when the kids were grown up - if only while you were at school?

I'm sorry she's in such a difficult position now, but this reeks slightly of being too reliant on someone else to keep her, which is always a really bad idea.

I hope you manage to resolve the problems without losing the house, but this is a good warning to anyone who wants to risk serious financial problems by trying to make a career out of being a housewife; don't put yourself into a position where you are entirely reliant on anybodies money - even your spouses'.

[kopite493]

anyone who works under 16 hours a week is still entitled to benefits which will pretty much double her money