[hagrid's big toe]

In April 2011, unfortunately I lost my dad and mum lost her husband. She took it a little worse than I did at the time. Anyway, for about a year she coped reasonably well, but recently, she's gone severely downhill and saying she misses him and thinks about him almost constantly.

She gets incredibly angry almost every night and tells me how hopeless her life is. My relationship with her is starting to deteriorate, I'm starting to feel under strain trying to keep myself together for her, and am becoming very negative and pessimistic myself, which I am not normally.

She acknowledges the situation most nights after an outburst, but then does the same again. It's become pretty much a daily cycle. I'm worried she's having a breakdown. Am I right, and what shall I do?

[TheMan100]

Have you tried telling her she needs help? As maybe that's the case.

[Friar Chris]

(Original post by hagrid's big toe)
In April 2011, unfortunately I lost my dad and mum lost her husband. She took it a little worse than I did at the time. Anyway, for about a year she coped reasonably well, but recently, she's gone severely downhill and saying she misses him and thinks about him almost constantly.

She gets incredibly angry almost every night and tells me how hopeless her life is. My relationship with her is starting to deteriorate, I'm starting to feel under strain trying to keep myself together for her, and am becoming very negative and pessimistic myself, which I am not normally.

She acknowledges the situation most nights after an outburst, but then does the same again. It's become pretty much a daily cycle. I'm worried she's having a breakdown. Am I right, and what shall I do?

1. She needs help. I'm not saying by this that she doesn't have a good reason to be upset and feel so bad, but she sounds to be suffering from clinical depression. Ask her to talk to her doctor. She needs help - both emotional support and potentially professional medical support to help her get better. How often does she see her friends?

2. Just as importantly, you need help. By trying to be strong for her and looking after her you're doing a great thing, but it's evidently taking its toll on both you and your relationship with your mother, and you need to look after yourself otherwise ultimately it'll all break down. You might want to see your doctor (if you know he/she is approachable) as well - not because I feel you particularly need medical attention, but because it sounds like you need to get this off your chest and get some advice - especially because your mum probably needs help and you alone can't give it all.

Godspeed.