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Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
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    Basically, i dont enjoy uni as much as everyone else seems to. I used to love working, and doing my work to the point of obssession, but since being at uni they try and create a standard mould of student to churn out and i hate it. I'm completely not what they want (not sure why they gave me an offer really). I don't want to stay at home, i have no friends and im a bit of an outcast in my family. I just feel super low. Not really sure what im after, maybe just a talk? i dont know. rant.
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    What did you picture uni to be? how has that differed for you?
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    Find something that makes you happy and do it.. create a goal/ambition for yourself and work towards it!
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    Make friends at UNI? Join chess club or whatever and socialise. Just be confident and you will make friends.
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    What those guys said.
    I used to be studious before uni. Then I got bored of it. And bored of life in general actually, till I got a few new hobbies and friends.

    Message me if you want
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by AverageExcellence)
    What did you picture uni to be? how has that differed for you?
    I feel like im only taught the basics and i have to go off and do the rest myself, which isnt too much of an issue but it makes me think why people would bother paying 9,000 for this. My lecturers are incredibly narrow-minded, pompous and quite controlling. I feel like i can't ask questions cause when i do im spoken to like a ****ing idiot, i try and research into newer areas of the field and get told 'not to bother'. I feel now i just work from my brain, very contrived and boring. Whereas i used to be genuinley passionate about it.

    (Original post by jayjamine)
    Harming yourself isn't gonna help though is it. Find something that makes you happy and do it.. create a goal/ambition for yourself and work towards it!
    I thought this was why i was going to uni, but it hasnt worked out. I know it wont help in the longrun, but not to sound disgusting, i enjoy it.
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    I think you are in desperate need of friends. Someone you can relate to more precisely. Be yourself but dont get cut up about it. xxx
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    (Original post by JamalAhmed)
    Make friends at UNI? Join chess club or whatever and socialise. Just be confident and you will make friends.
    I've genuinley tried. I find the majority are like the lecturers, and then theres myself and a few others, who i speak to and spend time with. But none of them would give a damn if i was hit by a bus on my way home.

    (Original post by Awesomeosaurus)
    What those guys said.
    I used to be studious before uni. Then I got bored of it. And bored of life in general actually, till I got a few new hobbies and friends.

    Message me if you want
    How did you finish uni? if you did, that is.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by 123maz)
    I think you are in desperate need of friends. Someone you can relate to more precisely. Be yourself but dont get cut up about it. xxx
    I probably am. It's difficult though to make friends.
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    I know it sounds cliché, but to quote Hey Jude, "the movement you need is on your shoulder".

    I've been there, and I know how disappointing and dull going to university can be if that was what you were hoping would change your life. Thing is though, only yourself can make you happy. Not uni alone, not working alone... you need to change your perspective.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by qua)
    I know it sounds cliché, but to quote Hey Jude, "the movement you need is on your shoulder".

    I've been there, and I know how disappointing and dull going to university can be if that was what you were hoping would change your life. Thing is though, only yourself can make you happy. Not uni alone, not working alone... you need to change your perspective.
    I wasn't expecting it to change my life, but be more engaging and open.
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    i'm sort of in the same position as you.. i've hated my first year of uni and dread to think what next year will be like.. there's literally nobody on my course that i like.. other than the mature students.. and i'm completely not what the course tutors seem to look for, since i hate my course ..while everyone else oozes enthusiasm out of every orifice.. and it sucks

    ..you can look at your situation from a positive angle. Having a cynical outlook is better than wearing rosy glasses like everyone else. You realise that something's not right and this should motivate you to work your arse off and achieve far more than anyone else who doesn't see any problems.

    ..also, is there anything else you wanna do other than your course? something you're interested in? ..invest your spare time in this, try to excel at whatever you do. Try to occupy yourself with something productive.. and chilll.. go for walks.. hug trees.. anything as long as you don't just sit in your room staring at the wall feeling depressed

    Dont worry about not having friends and being an outcast. It's painful to not be a sheep, but you must not be afraid of this.. not being a sheep is the first step to achieving great things.. just be nice to everybody.. the right people will come once you stop looking for them.
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    You're not a proper researcher while you're a student, it's better for you to keep out of the "groundbreaking" stuff in favour of making sure you show the lecturers you understand what you're writing about/being examined on. (Even when you're a proper academic it's risky and poorly funded to support non-mainstream ideas, just as in most jobs you're coerced more into doing the dance than anything actually useful.)

    A key part of learning to study, and one I didn't crack until my second year, is learning to tell which academics have the greatest clout by virtue of having developed the best supported theoretical approaches, written the most books, been written about most by others etc. Some random crank peddling his book about why he thinks fairies live down the bottom of the garden has to be considered along with the whole. I'm exaggerating but it's important to make this value judgement (moderated by your own observations/analysis/common sense) in order to be seen as a "mature" academic.

    In terms of their attitude I haven't found that from the majority of my lecturers, but I have found it from most of the kids who go to my uni. There are diamonds in the rough and if you stick it out for a year you'll meet people you can get along with for sure. The problem with first-year friendships is everyone is trying a bit too hard and being fake, largely because most of them feel they've left their "real" friends at home and are feeling the same as you. With them being pompous etc as you suggested it's just cultural misunderstanding, they can't help it if they're from a wealthy family and went to private school. A lot of those people simply have no clue how to socialise with the common man, just as we are totally bewildered when we have more than one knife and fork in a restaurant, and they are probably dealing with their own difficulties relating to relating to (legit repetition!) people.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by memomemootoo)
    i'm sort of in the same position as you.. i've hated my first year of uni and dread to think what next year will be like.. there's literally nobody on my course that i like.. other than the mature students.. and i'm completely not what the course tutors seem to look for, since i hate my course ..while everyone else oozes enthusiasm out of every orifice.. and it sucks

    ..you can look at your situation from a positive angle. Having a cynical outlook is better than wearing rosy glasses like everyone else. You realise that something's not right and this should motivate you to work your arse off and achieve far more than anyone else who doesn't see any problems.

    ..also, is there anything else you wanna do other than your course? something you're interested in? ..invest your spare time in this, try to excel at whatever you do. Try to occupy yourself with something productive.. and chilll.. go for walks.. hug trees.. anything as long as you don't just sit in your room staring at the wall feeling depressed

    Dont worry about not having friends and being an outcast. It's painful to not be a sheep, but you must not be afraid of this.. not being a sheep is the first step to achieving great things.. just be nice to everybody.. the right people will come once you stop looking for them.
    Thank you, this has helped me. I like the course itself, just the people. I do quite well in my course, better than the majority. I do work-experience aswell and i enjoy that and the people more, but i know i wont get far just on work-experience.
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    No one likes being turned into a clone, so dont feel sad about that! The reason they do it is because this 'clone' they have trialled before turned out to have great results, they are just trying to help you along (and help themselves look good). Try to see a positive?
    I'd like to say when you leave uni it will change... but it probably wont, unless you are self employed you'll always have a mould to fit.

    Perhaps you're not enjoying it because you don't have friends... Making friends is hard for most people, especially if you're battling a mental issue like self harming. There's no easy way around this you just need to make friends. Find someone you click with and they will open more doors for you! You'll find the self harming will decrease or disappear all together once you have people there to make you happy. After you've built a strong bond with someone tell them about it and it will get a lot of things off your chest


    Never underestimate the internet! That sounds so geeky but when you can build friendships online it becomes easier in person. In secondary school you're limited with friend choices, at uni those choices grow and once you leave you have the entire world! Chin up lovely
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I probably am. It's difficult though to make friends.
    i diagree its very easy, but you have to spot fake people from real people. that's the hard bit.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Arekkusu)
    You're not a proper researcher while you're a student, it's better for you to keep out of the "groundbreaking" stuff in favour of making sure you show the lecturers you understand what you're writing about/being examined on. (Even when you're a proper academic it's risky and poorly funded to support non-mainstream ideas, just as in most jobs you're coerced more into doing the dance than anything actually useful.)

    A key part of learning to study, and one I didn't crack until my second year, is learning to tell which academics have the greatest clout by virtue of having developed the best supported theoretical approaches, written the most books, been written about most by others etc. Some random crank peddling his book about why he thinks fairies live down the bottom of the garden has to be considered along with the whole. I'm exaggerating but it's important to make this value judgement (moderated by your own observations/analysis/common sense) in order to be seen as a "mature" academic.

    In terms of their attitude I haven't found that from the majority of my lecturers, but I have found it from most of the kids who go to my uni. There are diamonds in the rough and if you stick it out for a year you'll meet people you can get along with for sure. The problem with first-year friendships is everyone is trying a bit too hard and being fake, largely because most of them feel they've left their "real" friends at home and are feeling the same as you. With them being pompous etc as you suggested it's just cultural misunderstanding, they can't help it if they're from a wealthy family and went to private school. A lot of those people simply have no clue how to socialise with the common man, just as we are totally bewildered when we have more than one knife and fork in a restaurant, and they are probably dealing with their own difficulties relating to relating to (legit repetition!) people.
    Some have come from wealthy background, but there is a number who havnt, who put on a persona to fit in, or to feel better about themselves. I realise i shouldnt 'rock the boat' as much as i do and try and push things, but then how do we ever progress or question? I have the rest of my life to just plod along, nod my head, and do my job for money. Now i think is a time to experiment and question.
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    Life is what you make of it. At any point in your life, there will always be something bothering you. It is how you handle these bothers which dictate how you cope in life.

    Watch this, it is only 2minutes 22 seconds:


    Remember: Don't think of life as just a journey with a goal at the end, see life as a musical piece - enjoy the whole composition and sing and dance the whole way through.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've genuinley tried. I find the majority are like the lecturers, and then theres myself and a few others, who i speak to and spend time with. But none of them would give a damn if i was hit by a bus on my way home.



    How did you finish uni? if you did, that is.
    Only done my first year
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically, i dont enjoy uni as much as everyone else seems to. I used to love working, and doing my work to the point of obssession, but since being at uni they try and create a standard mould of student to churn out and i hate it. I'm completely not what they want (not sure why they gave me an offer really). I don't want to stay at home, i have no friends and im a bit of an outcast in my family. I just feel super low, i've battled with self harming for about 7 years and i feel like if i start again itll just get worse. Not really sure what im after, maybe just a talk? i dont know. rant.
    I know u probably don't think it now but there are a lot of people in the same position as you. I had the same problem I worked really hard always and ended up with no friends at uni or at home. I would say ask yourself what your options would be if you stayed or left university, if you want u can message me and talk about it.

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