I'm in a very similar position to you but I don't really think that my mum has the exact same attitude. I'm home most of the time and I'm close to my parents. My mum doesn't see the point in washing and ironing clothes seperately so she'll do those for me, she's the one who cooks sunday dinner and anything we eat in the week is usually made by her doing the main things and me helping.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I just turned 18 a week ago today, and yet my mum still treats me like I'm 12 years old - three months before I leave home for university.
Maybe I only have myself to blame because I have no real close friends to go out and spend time with in order to distance my relationship with my parents; I'm just a lonely nerd stuck at home for the summer.
The problem is, her attitude towards me doesn't put me in a good mindset for university which is where I'll need to be independent and have her trust in me in order to feel self-sufficient and confident.
I have only three more months at home and then I'm leaving, but is it right for me to be treated this way? Do I deserve it for being a hermit?
I don't think you should distance yourself. I thought about this too and I can't see how it would help, it's great to have a good relationship with your parents. I think you should take a different approach, similar to one that I'm taking. I don't know how to cook very much so I ask a lot of questions about temperatures and how to know when food is done etc and every so often I ask her to teach me to cook certain food. She'll just give me advice and let me do everything in front of her.
I talked to her about considering getting a student bank account but rather than just asking her what she thinks or what she suggests, I just told her that I will be looking more into it closer to the time and will decide when I've done my research; showing her I can properly look after my own finances. It's these gradual little things that remind her I AM growing up and moving out soon and they really boost my confidence. I'm not as worried any more about how I'll look after myself when I leave.
EDIT: I just remembered that the title is "PATRONISING parent" which tells me that if you do stuff like what I'm doing she might just brush you off and say "oh you don't need to worry about that now" or "I'll do it". If this is the case, you need to be firm with her. Tell her that you DO need to know now, because when will you ever know? Does she want you to live without being able to look after yourself? You don't want to depend on her forever. Today my mum taught me to make scrambled eggs (I knew how but never did it myself) and my dad just said "oh I know how to make those". Well dad, I'm glad you do but I don't and I need to know should I want to make some when I move out.
Last edited by sliceofcake; 10-07-2012 at 18:56.