[Anonymous]

Has anyone been bullied so badly at University that they have developed a mental health condition, a disability or psychiatric injury?

[UPPSY]

no but once when I informed a teacher that someone was being nasty (I was about 6) and was told to sort it out my self as I was a big boy, they developed a broken wrist, after I ran at it when they were learning on railings

[Mequa]

Ostracism is more common in a University setting.

[Anonymous]

At my first university, I fell out with my friendship group over some small thing and afterwards they were so nasty to me. They called me names in the street and told other people about what an evil person I apparently was, leading to loads more people calling me names. They told people in my classes that I was a horrible person and after that no one would sit by me or talk to me. We had agreed to live together in second year and had signed the contract on a house which they forced me to pull out of so I lost my deposit and had no where to live. They sent me death threats and told me people were going to kill me over the thing we fell out about. I was so scared I used to sleep with a knife under my pillow.

I developed depression and psychosis, probably due to the stress. I dropped out of that university because I was so terrified of seeing these people ever again. It's now 4 years later and I still have a lot of trouble trusting people. I went to another university after that one but I didn't make a single friend as I was so messed up from the first experience so I spent 3 years totally alone which was so horrible. I still have depression and psychosis, I'm on prescription drugs to manage them and getting talk therapy over the next few months, I can't trust people, I can't do social situations, I'm still scared of these people finding me and killing me.

[roarosaurus]

My three flatmates all decided they disliked me in my first year (actually, on my first day...) of university. They didn't bully me horribly, but they were notably less nice to me than to each other: they pushed me out of group photographs (literally elbowed me out!), bitched about me loudly in the kitchen, and whenever we all had a conversation they would all bond over disagreeing with me (I once said I liked South Park; cue all of them talking about how much they 'don't get' South Park). I eventually just stopped talking to them.

I was having a hard year as it was because both my parents were both mentally and physically ill, and I did go on to develop depression. It wasn't entirely their fault, but they way they treated me did contribute.

[Anonymous]

I had a pretty hard time in my first year. I got put into an all girl flat and unluckily the girls who I were put with were really bitchy. I was the only asian girl in the flat and most of them were northerners and had never had any non-white friends before. They used to ignore me a lot and just blank me. I got so upset with it in the end and switched flats, moved to a great corridor and met some really nice new people. I'd never ever had problems making friends before living in the South East. I kind of regret going to a northern uni now, I definitely think it's easier for minorities down south.

[ByronicHero]

You don't let people bully you. You're old enough to deal with it by the time you are at university. I know it isn't that simple all the time but bullying is often harassment and something they are criminally accountable for

People will always say things behind your back - this is just something in life everyone has to learn to deal with and something that people come to terms with at very different times in their lives (or not at all).

[The_Lonely_Goatherd]

I was badly bullied at uni by two people. I later developed schizoaffective disorder and PTSD. I don't think the bullying was the cause as such but it certainly didn't help

[Aspiringlawstudent]

I've never even heard of anyone being bullied at my university, let alone experienced it.

[Pitt1988]

I would hazard a guess that 90% of bullying at uni is by girls, to girls. You lot can be so, so bitchy and mess with people's heads! Obviously not many girls though, just a few uppity hoes.

You don't tend to get that sort of mental torture from lads, if there's a disagreement it is either dealt with there and then through diplomacy of a punch lol. I'd much rather be in that position than be systematically singled out by bitchiness from day one.

[DorianGrayism]

I didn't even realise that bullying was a big thing when you go to Uni, simply because it is so large and you can always find people with similar interests.

[KatieCruel]

From reading some of these stories I think the lesson here is to not just be friends with a load of bitchy girls.

[Anonymous]

Yes, well sort of.

I suffered (possibly still do to a small extent, though i'm coping very well now) with Social Anxiety Disorder and was bullied at University by a couple of my flatmates in halls. It seems like it was a case of 'we don't know anyone here, prey on the weak'. I was already quite introvert and quite a loner, I admit that already. They targetted that though and made it hell for me for a few months of first year. I had friends in halls too, but they were quite intimidated I guess, almost blinded by these bullies attempts to be nice to them to see what really was going on. I'd be mad at my friends if it wasn't for the fact that the bullies were so clever about it that it would be easy for anyone to be deceived by them. I can't be mad at them for that.

I've also witnessed bullying, and I won't stand for it when I see it. I suffered from psychological bullying, but that was bad enough. It was a torment. It was horrible. I felt trapped in a cage. Nobody should feel like that.

I recommend to anyone to speak out to close friends or even people at University if they are suffering from that. There is no weakness in admitting you need help in these situations. It's strong to seek help and to put an end to something that is so unfair.

I also recommend using TSR for information and for advice from other members. It truly is a great help and got me through the lasting effects of my bullying.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Politricks)
I'm really worried about being bullied when I go to university, if I do get bullied, are there any staff in university ready to help you out?

Yes, there are. Your University will have a decent list of councillers (yes, makes it sound like you're going into therapy, but don't think of it like that) who you're more than welcome to go in for a quick one-off chat if you choose. As a fresher, you will have student reps from the final year who will have experienced all the highs and lows of University too who are always going to be willing to help.

I'd like to point out as well that whilst my situation wasn't really ideal, it was what I could see a rare case. Most people have grown up by the time they get to Uni and aren't childish and cowardly bullies. Those that are will most likely find that passers-by or friends won't stand for it. Uni is a much more civilised place to be.

Don't worry about it, as that won't help things. Go there with a positive viewpoint. You always have that re-assurance that someone will be there to talk to and help you through if things get tough for any reason.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Politricks)
Thank you.

For what other reasons are people bullied for at university?

Insecurities that they hold themselves. Bullying is a technique used to push the attention away from themselves in order for their own insecurities to be seen. That's in every aspect of life though.

The people who bullied me, as it turned out, had problems settling in/moving away from home and couldn't deal with the pressure. I had the same, but didn't turn to becoming a bully. I doubt they chose to, it just built up and got to a point where that's just who they were. It was gradual.

Everyone needs support, so make sure whoever your early friends are at Uni know if they need you, you're there for them. People can turn one of three ways when struggling at Uni, in my experience. They can either turn on others to avoid the situation entirely, let it overwhelm them and ruin their time at University or turn to others for help and overcome it.

It sounds a bit clichéd, and i'm sure there are actually several ways for people to turn to what they do at Uni. This was just my experience though.

[Anonymous]

I found that pretty/beautiful women were bullied the most at university.

[Anonymous]

I was bullied by my flatmates in first year, they decided they didn't like me and were quite nasty. I was bullied all the time from primary school and until high school so it doesn't surprise me anymore. I'm always nice/normal to people but a lot of them just don't seem to like me.
I've got several mental health conditions now and I think the bullying is one of the main reasons for my bad anxiety. I have Borderline Personality Disorder which has different causes but I think if I had never been bullied life would be so much easier for me. Making friends and socialising is almost impossible now. I wish people weren't so horrible.

[Anonymous]

This thread is making me sad. Be strong people - don't let the bullying get to you.

[jim100]

I got bullied horribly by my flat mate at university which left me devastated and depressed. It took me a while to recover but still have flashbacks. Only much later in life do I understand why it happened. It was partly my fault as I was so simple and naive

I realise only through the various threads that bullying at university is common as elsewhere be it work, school, colleage.

The only comfort I have is that I completed my degree which has allowed me to build a quite succesful future. However, I have lost out too and wondered what life would have been liked if I had not been bullied perhaps more confident, calmer and sociable. Anyway, realise everyone has a bout of turmoil in their lifes and my nadir was at univeersity. I am a lot older now and life does get better though could be better.

There are a horrible people out there - outweighing the nice people. It makes me sad I have lost faith in human nature and even sadder that I do not know if I really want to live in such a society and considerating to move abroad.

[PinkyPurply]

I'd never considered being bullied at Uni.

People attempted to bully me in Sixth form by telling people that I was a terrible person. I agreed with them. It kind of took the wind out of their sails.