Girls ,do you like having a controlling and protective boyfriend ?
I've been going out with this guy for couple of months ,and we get along very well ,but recently i started to notice his behaviour and how he wants me to act in a certain way around people especially men ,for exmaple he doesn't like me hugging other guy friends or even shaking their hands !
I'm starting to find it weird, I've never been in a serious relationship before ,so i don't know if this is normal !the thing is he wants to take things further ,and he almost proposed me the other day ,i feel things are going very fast ,and he doesn't give me time to think ,i feel like he wants things to go in his way only .
He is a great person and i wouldn't be going out with him if i didn't like him ,but i'm just a bit worried about his behaviour.
I was extremely tired last night ,he called me and we talked for two hours then my phone was running out of charge ,so i told him i need to go because the phone is going to switch off .He replied "go get a charger !and you go to bed when i tell you too", i was very shocked so i tried making a joke out of it ,then he said "i'm being serious ,i will wait all night for you to call back" !
And he kept waiting because he was online on his Facebook for two hours after the phone call ,i feel so uncomfortable ,i mean if he is acting like this now,how is he going to act when we are engaged or even married ?
His attitude is putting me off !but i love him and he is the guy I've been wanting all my life
Any advice girls and boys ?
Do you think this is normal or strange ?
I'm 19 years old and he is 24 years old !
I'm starting to find it weird, I've never been in a serious relationship before ,so i don't know if this is normal !the thing is he wants to take things further ,and he almost proposed me the other day ,i feel things are going very fast ,and he doesn't give me time to think ,i feel like he wants things to go in his way only .
He is a great person and i wouldn't be going out with him if i didn't like him ,but i'm just a bit worried about his behaviour.
I was extremely tired last night ,he called me and we talked for two hours then my phone was running out of charge ,so i told him i need to go because the phone is going to switch off .He replied "go get a charger !and you go to bed when i tell you too"
, i was very shocked so i tried making a joke out of it ,then he said "i'm being serious ,i will wait all night for you to call back" !And he kept waiting because he was online on his Facebook for two hours after the phone call ,i feel so uncomfortable ,i mean if he is acting like this now,how is he going to act when we are engaged or even married ?
His attitude is putting me off !but i love him and he is the guy I've been wanting all my life
Any advice girls and boys ?
Do you think this is normal or strange ?
I'm 19 years old and he is 24 years old !
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Whatever9999
It's not normal or healthy. Proposing after 2 months combined with controlling behaviour = red flag.
Original post by Whatever9999
Umm.. Why are you thinking about getting engaged or married to him? It's been 2 months and he is behaving like a tool already. These things don't improve over time, they get worse. Your vagina is not magical and it will not fix his control issues.
Original post by Whatever9999
No, you don't love him.. You've known him romantically for 2 months, and it's your first proper relationship.. You're just infatuated. Love hasn't had time to build yet. And if you really have spent your whole life wanting a guy to control and belittle you.. It's time to raise your standards.
He is controlling you. This is how it starts I'm afraid and it's only going to get worse. I suggest you get out while you can..
Like whatever...
This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
Slippery slope...
I agree with the others here, it's started now, he want's to control you.
He'll only get worse, trust me, I've seen it happen time and time again. Get out while you can.
You won't though, and you'll be back here in a few months time having either cheated on him because he was controlling you, or with a thread saying that; "all men are pricks" after he's beaten you up after a row.
I agree with the others here, it's started now, he want's to control you.
He'll only get worse, trust me, I've seen it happen time and time again. Get out while you can.
You won't though, and you'll be back here in a few months time having either cheated on him because he was controlling you, or with a thread saying that; "all men are pricks" after he's beaten you up after a row.
Original post by alawhisp
It's not normal or healthy. Proposing after 2 months combined with controlling behaviour = red flag.
Umm.. Why are you thinking about getting engaged or married to him? It's been 2 months and he is behaving like a tool already. These things don't improve over time, they get worse. Your vagina is not magical and it will not fix his control issues.
No, you don't love him.. You've known him romantically for 2 months, and it's your first proper relationship.. You're just infatuated. Love hasn't had time to build yet. And if you really have spent your whole life wanting a guy to control and belittle you.. It's time to raise your standards.
Umm.. Why are you thinking about getting engaged or married to him? It's been 2 months and he is behaving like a tool already. These things don't improve over time, they get worse. Your vagina is not magical and it will not fix his control issues.
No, you don't love him.. You've known him romantically for 2 months, and it's your first proper relationship.. You're just infatuated. Love hasn't had time to build yet. And if you really have spent your whole life wanting a guy to control and belittle you.. It's time to raise your standards.
I must say i agree with youu ,i have told him that i feel he is way too harsh sometimes
,he doesn't reply or even say yeah i need to change ,i feel like he is proud of it .Original post by Alpharius
Slippery slope...
I agree with the others here, it's started now, he want's to control you.
He'll only get worse, trust me, I've seen it happen time and time again. Get out while you can.
You won't though, and you'll be back here in a few months time having either cheated on him because he was controlling you, or with a thread saying that; "all men are pricks" after he's beaten you up after a row.
I agree with the others here, it's started now, he want's to control you.
He'll only get worse, trust me, I've seen it happen time and time again. Get out while you can.
You won't though, and you'll be back here in a few months time having either cheated on him because he was controlling you, or with a thread saying that; "all men are pricks" after he's beaten you up after a row.
Yeah ,i agree .
I need to leave him as soon as possible , I've been feeling so miserable lately and relationship is something that is meant to make you happy not upset .
Original post by Whatever9999
Yeah ,i agree .
I need to leave him as soon as possible , I've been feeling so miserable lately and relationship is something that is meant to make you happy not upset .
I need to leave him as soon as possible , I've been feeling so miserable lately and relationship is something that is meant to make you happy not upset .
She see's the light.
I'm all for working on a relationship, I wouldn't tell you to leave him for nothing, but I've seen this before.
All the best.
Original post by Alpharius
She see's the light.
I'm all for working on a relationship, I wouldn't tell you to leave him for nothing, but I've seen this before.
All the best.
I'm all for working on a relationship, I wouldn't tell you to leave him for nothing, but I've seen this before.
All the best.
Thanks alot
Control through friends... then control over your personal life and how you dress etc...then when you visit your close family.
It's horrible and thats how it starts..
Before you know it you don't even think about arranging a night in with the girls because you just can't be bothered with his whinging and you feel privileged to be invited out within his company, even though that's a normal part of a relationship.
You really do end up feeling so downtrodden and you look back and you think, 'wow how did that nice charming man do that to me'.
Oh they are clever, so clever in fact I lost nearly all of my friends and quite clearly remembering telling him I was emotionally terrified of him and could not deal with it anymore, even though it was that subtle I did not know exactly 'what' he was doing.
Everyone says you need to leave him, but it's not that easy and I should know. He eventually left me in case I left him because he knew that the oppression would eventually turn into a fire and I would have walked out. Still, who breaks up with someone to protect themselves from being broken up with? that's really weird in my opinion especially considering I had never said I was leaving....
Honestly though, even if you think it's going to be hard now, dealing with a man like that both in the relationship AND out of the relationship a year or two down the lines is really really much more difficult so my advice is to seek help and support from family/friends and say goodbye to him..
Sorry to sound harsh, but listen to the people of TSR Good luck!
It's horrible and thats how it starts..
Before you know it you don't even think about arranging a night in with the girls because you just can't be bothered with his whinging and you feel privileged to be invited out within his company, even though that's a normal part of a relationship.
You really do end up feeling so downtrodden and you look back and you think, 'wow how did that nice charming man do that to me'.
Oh they are clever, so clever in fact I lost nearly all of my friends and quite clearly remembering telling him I was emotionally terrified of him and could not deal with it anymore, even though it was that subtle I did not know exactly 'what' he was doing.
Everyone says you need to leave him, but it's not that easy and I should know. He eventually left me in case I left him because he knew that the oppression would eventually turn into a fire and I would have walked out. Still, who breaks up with someone to protect themselves from being broken up with? that's really weird in my opinion especially considering I had never said I was leaving....
Honestly though, even if you think it's going to be hard now, dealing with a man like that both in the relationship AND out of the relationship a year or two down the lines is really really much more difficult so my advice is to seek help and support from family/friends and say goodbye to him..
Sorry to sound harsh, but listen to the people of TSR
Good luck!
Red flags indeed... you're walking towards an abusive relationship. Noone can swear at, threaten and punch their confident, normal gf from day one. They would just leave. Instead, he will gradually wear you down until you think you deserve nothing better.
Break up now. Please!
Break up now. Please!
Original post by Whatever9999
I've been going out with this guy for couple of months ,and we get along very well ,but recently i started to notice his behaviour and how he wants me to act in a certain way around people especially men ,for exmaple he doesn't like me hugging other guy friends or even shaking their hands !
I'm starting to find it weird, I've never been in a serious relationship before ,so i don't know if this is normal !the thing is he wants to take things further ,and he almost proposed me the other day ,i feel things are going very fast ,and he doesn't give me time to think ,i feel like he wants things to go in his way only .
He is a great person and i wouldn't be going out with him if i didn't like him ,but i'm just a bit worried about his behaviour.
I was extremely tired last night ,he called me and we talked for two hours then my phone was running out of charge ,so i told him i need to go because the phone is going to switch off .He replied "go get a charger !and you go to bed when i tell you too", i was very shocked so i tried making a joke out of it ,then he said "i'm being serious ,i will wait all night for you to call back" !
And he kept waiting because he was online on his Facebook for two hours after the phone call ,i feel so uncomfortable ,i mean if he is acting like this now,how is he going to act when we are engaged or even married ?
His attitude is putting me off !but i love him and he is the guy I've been wanting all my life
Any advice girls and boys ?
Do you think this is normal or strange ?
I'm 19 years old and he is 24 years old !
I'm starting to find it weird, I've never been in a serious relationship before ,so i don't know if this is normal !the thing is he wants to take things further ,and he almost proposed me the other day ,i feel things are going very fast ,and he doesn't give me time to think ,i feel like he wants things to go in his way only .
He is a great person and i wouldn't be going out with him if i didn't like him ,but i'm just a bit worried about his behaviour.
I was extremely tired last night ,he called me and we talked for two hours then my phone was running out of charge ,so i told him i need to go because the phone is going to switch off .He replied "go get a charger !and you go to bed when i tell you too"
, i was very shocked so i tried making a joke out of it ,then he said "i'm being serious ,i will wait all night for you to call back" !And he kept waiting because he was online on his Facebook for two hours after the phone call ,i feel so uncomfortable ,i mean if he is acting like this now,how is he going to act when we are engaged or even married ?
His attitude is putting me off !but i love him and he is the guy I've been wanting all my life
Any advice girls and boys ?
Do you think this is normal or strange ?
I'm 19 years old and he is 24 years old !
Do you know if this is his first relationship? As far as I've found, this sort of behaviour is rather typical of young, insecure and inexperienced guys. It is not healthy to be this way in a relationship, and you need to make it clear to him that it's unacceptable for him to dictate things such as your bedtime and how you greet a male friend. A relationship dynamic, once established, is very difficult to change. If you don't nip it in the bud now, this is how it's always going to be.
Seen this before in real life and on TSR countless of times. Same things, first friends, then it gets personal
nearly proposing within 2 months
Make your exit now and don't let him make you feel guilty!
nearly proposing within 2 months
Make your exit now and don't let him make you feel guilty!
my boyfriend never used to be controlling really..but recently he's turning into a bit of a psycho..he's been screwing at me over facebook a lot, over really petty things, like say if a guy adds me that i don't know, i don't accept anyway but sometimes i don't decline till when i can be bothered, and then he screws at me asking why i don't delete straightaway? (he has my password) and then if guys even poke me, why did he poke me? do i know him? i must do..i must then block them straightaway, so pathetic i know..he's started screwing at the way i dress now too..which i think is completely modest..but sometimes if something is tight fitted even though completely fitted, he goes mental..something as minor as that..ahhh..he's just nitpicking on everything at the moment, its really beginning to affect me
There is a difference between a man being unhappy and I suppose telling another guy t okeep away if he hits on his girlfriend, oor sorta being slightly over them in front of men its like their asserting this is my girlfriend HOWEVER what this guy is doing is wrong and dam right wierd.
I think becuase you are younger and he is your first proper boyfriend he thinks he can control you he knows a women his own age would tell him to jog on. Do not listen to him if he says you cant go to bed you be blunt and tell him to stop being stupid, you need to assert your authority now and show you are not a pushover, or before you know it he will be controlling every aspect of your life
I think becuase you are younger and he is your first proper boyfriend he thinks he can control you he knows a women his own age would tell him to jog on. Do not listen to him if he says you cant go to bed you be blunt and tell him to stop being stupid, you need to assert your authority now and show you are not a pushover, or before you know it he will be controlling every aspect of your life
Original post by Whatever9999
I've been going out with this guy for couple of months ,and we get along very well ,but recently i started to notice his behaviour and how he wants me to act in a certain way around people especially men ,for exmaple he doesn't like me hugging other guy friends or even shaking their hands !
I'm starting to find it weird, I've never been in a serious relationship before ,so i don't know if this is normal !the thing is he wants to take things further ,and he almost proposed me the other day ,i feel things are going very fast ,and he doesn't give me time to think ,i feel like he wants things to go in his way only .
He is a great person and i wouldn't be going out with him if i didn't like him ,but i'm just a bit worried about his behaviour.
I was extremely tired last night ,he called me and we talked for two hours then my phone was running out of charge ,so i told him i need to go because the phone is going to switch off .He replied "go get a charger !and you go to bed when i tell you too", i was very shocked so i tried making a joke out of it ,then he said "i'm being serious ,i will wait all night for you to call back" !
And he kept waiting because he was online on his Facebook for two hours after the phone call ,i feel so uncomfortable ,i mean if he is acting like this now,how is he going to act when we are engaged or even married ?
His attitude is putting me off !but i love him and he is the guy I've been wanting all my life
Any advice girls and boys ?
Do you think this is normal or strange ?
I'm 19 years old and he is 24 years old !
I'm starting to find it weird, I've never been in a serious relationship before ,so i don't know if this is normal !the thing is he wants to take things further ,and he almost proposed me the other day ,i feel things are going very fast ,and he doesn't give me time to think ,i feel like he wants things to go in his way only .
He is a great person and i wouldn't be going out with him if i didn't like him ,but i'm just a bit worried about his behaviour.
I was extremely tired last night ,he called me and we talked for two hours then my phone was running out of charge ,so i told him i need to go because the phone is going to switch off .He replied "go get a charger !and you go to bed when i tell you too"
, i was very shocked so i tried making a joke out of it ,then he said "i'm being serious ,i will wait all night for you to call back" !And he kept waiting because he was online on his Facebook for two hours after the phone call ,i feel so uncomfortable ,i mean if he is acting like this now,how is he going to act when we are engaged or even married ?
His attitude is putting me off !but i love him and he is the guy I've been wanting all my life
Any advice girls and boys ?
Do you think this is normal or strange ?
I'm 19 years old and he is 24 years old !
No! it's not how real men act.
You don't go to bed when he tells you to!
You are a human being, you should never be ordered by a man.
I don't understand why girls go for bad guys though just because they look hot.
That's not a good relationship.
Don't ever be made to do anything for someone else unless it's done from the heart and that the man hasn't played with your heart strings.
No man should make you feel guilty and force you into doing things.
Please go with a normal person please!
Original post by Flyingaround
No! it's not how real men act.
You don't go to bed when he tells you to!
You are a human being, you should never be ordered by a man.
I don't understand why girls go for bad guys though just because they look hot.
That's not a good relationship.
Don't ever be made to do anything for someone else unless it's done from the heart and that the man hasn't played with your heart strings.
No man should make you feel guilty and force you into doing things.
Please go with a normal person please!
You don't go to bed when he tells you to!
You are a human being, you should never be ordered by a man.
I don't understand why girls go for bad guys though just because they look hot.
That's not a good relationship.
Don't ever be made to do anything for someone else unless it's done from the heart and that the man hasn't played with your heart strings.
No man should make you feel guilty and force you into doing things.
Please go with a normal person please!
i'm finding it hard to break up ! I feel lost !
How do i end this ?how do i tell him !
I agree with everyone else that the way he's behaving isn't normal and you shouldn't put up with it! It's no one's business when you go to sleep, what you wear or how you greet your friends and if he actually cared about you as a person, he would understand that. He's just using you as a tool to feel powerful over stupid things and you really should end it before it gets worse.
Probably the best thing to do is break up with him in a way that he can't do anything stupid like hit you, so either over the phone or in public, preferably with one of your friends there. Definitely tell someone what you're about to do, as that way you're safer both physically and if he starts spreading lies about you. Just tell him that you're tired of being treated like a thing and that you don't want to be with him if that's his idea of a relationship.
This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
Probably the best thing to do is break up with him in a way that he can't do anything stupid like hit you, so either over the phone or in public, preferably with one of your friends there. Definitely tell someone what you're about to do, as that way you're safer both physically and if he starts spreading lies about you. Just tell him that you're tired of being treated like a thing and that you don't want to be with him if that's his idea of a relationship.
This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
Sounds like some Christian Grey ****.
Original post by Whatever9999 i'm finding it hard to break up !
I feel lost !
How do i end this ?how do i tell him !
i'm finding it hard to break up ! I feel lost !
How do i end this ?how do i tell him !
It depends if you have to physically see him again, because then it can be hard especially if he gets mad.
There are other ways of making him just go off you instead if you seriously wanted it to end, by making up a crazy story but then you have to worry about him telling other people.
If I met someone online, I would say that I have a fetish or something but there's no repercussions.
It really depends on what type of person he is.
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