[Dobrzynski]

I have this problem. There is this guy who I have grown up with since we were very young. He used to be my best friend about 5 years ago, but I drifted apart, and I realised I've got nothing in common with him. He annoys me, he falls in with the wrong crowd, he doesn't care about school much, he has a ridiculous outlook on life, we don't like the same music, clothes etc. and he has some mates who are just nobs.

For years now I've been trying to tell him that he isn't my mate any more, I've got a group of friends who are just like me and I actually enjoy time with them. The thing is he just won't leave me alone (I know it sounds stupid) he keeps wanting me to come out with him and his friends, and I just dislike the lot of them. He has just asked me to come on the Three Peak Challenge in November. He hasn't planned it all out, he reckons it is easy, and he is opting to do it in one bloody day - that's not even for amateurs, never mind a 16 year old. He's doing it with this horrible person, who practically hates my guts for some reason, and I really don't want to spend a day up a mountain with him. Don't get me wrong, the Challenge sounds awesome and I'd love to do it officially in the three days with a group of friends I actually like.

I don't like telling him no, and I've never openly said that I dislike him or that he isn't my mate. I just don't know what to do.

[whyumadtho]

If you are no longer his friend and have no intention of repairing the relationship, I don't see why you still possess a sense of obligation to be polite. Behaving in a friendly manner will only cause him to continue believing you are still friends.

It's clear that indirect messages are not getting through to him, so it's time to start telling him directly that you no longer desire his company and wish to sever all contact with him.

[miniteen]

If you guys were friends since you were very young, I don't think it's a good idea to sever all contact with him, you might end up regretting it later in life. Childhood friends are not something you can at every corner. Just explain to him that you don't get on well with his friends and you would prefer that he didn't invite you when he was with his other friends.

[Dobrzynski]

(Original post by whyumadtho)
If you are no longer his friend and have no intention of repairing the relationship, I don't see why you still possess a sense of obligation to be polite. Behaving in a friendly manner will only cause him to continue believing you are still friends.

It's clear that indirect messages are not getting through to him, so it's time to start telling him directly that you no longer desire his company and wish to sever all contact with him.

I would love to do that, I really would. The fact is that I can't. How could you say that to someone? Friend or not.

He is going to College and I'm staying on for A-Levels, so that might burn down the bridge between us somewhat.

[whyumadtho]

(Original post by Dobrzynski)
I would love to do that, I really would. The fact is that I can't. How could you say that to someone? Friend or not.

He is going to College and I'm staying on for A-Levels, so that might burn down the bridge between us somewhat.

But you don't enjoy his company and he's only inviting you out of a false belief that the relational contentment is mutual. I suppose you could simply deny all of his requests to go out by saying you have other plans—this should expedite the breakdown of the relationship.

[DotComBoom]

If you really hate this person, then don't bother being so polite and just tell him that you don't want to hang around with him. If you still have some hope of salvaging a friendship then maybe try to focus on the positives of this person.

However, focus on your main group of friends.

[A Cat]

you're always busy. He'll get the hint unless he's a possessive psycho.

[Angryification]

Stop being nice. Just don't over do it. You'll end up an ar5e like me.