violated willingly by bf?

this might sound strange, but i went out with my bf for about six weeks. in this time he saw me naked, we touched eachother and he went down on me. although it was perfectly consensual, although possibly i wouldn't have liked it to go so far in retrospect...but anyway now i kind of feel sort of dirty and the thought that he's seen me like that makes me feel uneasy and sick with myself in some reason - despite the fact i really liked him... i don't understand

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Reply 1

Tyler Durden

Anonymous

Are you Catholic?

Reply 2

xavier2k3

Is this the first proper sexual experience you've had? If so, this may well be a reason why.

regards
--marty

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

no i'm not catholic, although i've been becoming increasingly interested in Christianity recently. yeah it is the first proper sexual experience i've had.

I like that response

probably why then...u always remember first experiences. dont worry tho seriously, i cringe when i remember some of the things i did at the mere age of 14 but my body has changed so much since then that i dont expect the guy/s even remember what i looked like. theres no point regretting the past because u cant change it. Just learn from it, and dont ever do anything you arent happy with

Reply 6

SaccerZD

englishstudent's response - made me laugh, don't know why

Reply 7

Little Girl Red

Sometimes I feel a bit dirty after doing things with my boyfriend. I think its a common response among young girls. I don't know why though!!
With regards to getting interested in Christianity, I heartily encourage you! I'm a Christian, and it is a wonderful and amazing thing to know that you have been saved and are loved so incredibly, even with all your faults, and that you are never alone, there is always somebody to call on.
I became a Christian about a year ago and it has made such an amazing difference in my life. Whenever I feel dirty I usually pray for cleansing and forgiveness and then I feel just so... refreshed.
Feel free to PM me.

Reply 8

Profesh

Little Girl Red

Oh dear.

Reply 9

Tyler Durden

Little Girl Red

Oh. My. God. You feel "dirty" because Jebus condemned fornication (you evil sinner you :rolleyes:

).

It's not a "common response" amongst young girls because sex is a pretty normal thing to be doing. Obviously there are vague social and moral boundaries which might make you feel bad about totally slutting around, but I expect there is a direct link between your religion and your guilt.

Reply 10

ChemistBoy

I guess it is rather unusual at first but it is perfectly normal and healthy activity (provided you are legally allowed to do it!) and you are not dirty.

Reply 11

Little Girl Red

Some of you guys have such a weird response to Christianity.
I'm not a Catholic and so I have an understanding of the fact that Jesus died to forgive our sins and therefore so that we don't have to feel guilt. That's entirely the point - we don't have guilt because we know that we've been saved, all of those past things have been forgiven, and when we've done something wrong we repent etc etc. Condemnation is gone from our lives - the bible says that there is no condemnation (ie no guilt) for those who are in Christ. The whole concept of Catholic Guilt is totally screwed up.

Secondly, God does not "forbid fornification" :rolleyes:

for goodness sake. He created sex as a gift for humankind, it is god given, thats why its so amazing. I believe its only meant to be used in the context of marriage - but nowhere in the Bible does it say "Sex is evil. Never indulge". Infact, it says exactly the opposite.

Reply 12

Little Girl Red

Also - I belive that it is a common response among young girls. I'm not talking about slagging around, I'm not talking about feeling "guilty" - just feeling a bit dirty, maybe a bit used. Like the OP says.
You feel bad that somebody has seen you naked, that they're done these things to you. Especially if they're not your boyfriend any more. And I've felt like that in the past, when I wasn't a Christian.

Reply 13

Tyler Durden

http://www.christiananswers.net/q-sum/sum-f001.html

Reply 14

icedout

Don't go to the police, please.

Reply 15

Little Girl Red

^^^^^ that article is really cool. Yes, it does point out some of the problems with sex before marriage, in fact some of the problems will probably be very familiar to a lot of people.

However, I woud like to thank you for proving my point :P that God created sex and that it is good. I think that is what is first stated in the article. The article goes on to say that it is meant only in the context of marriage. However this does not take away from the fact that sex is ultimately good, its the consequences of sex before marriage that is bad.

Reply 16

Helenia

icedout

Don't go to the police, please.

I don't think she said anywhere that she was planning on it.

It's not a completely abnormal thing to feel, especially if you still have regrets about the relationship as a whole. Maybe it's something you weren't entirely ready for?

Reply 17

Nocturnalia

Little Girl Red

...I have an understanding of the fact that Jesus died. we don't have guilt because we know that we've been saved

A fact huh? Proof, please.

Little Girl Red

God does not "forbid fornification" :rolleyes:

for goodness sake. He created sex as a gift for humankind, it is god given, thats why its so amazing.

How do you know? 'Cause of some people who wrote in a book a long time ago?

It's just as credible as believing in the bloody Tooth Fairy.

I've held back on commenting on shinytoy's posts but this one just takes the biscuit...

Reply 18

Tyler Durden

Little Girl Red

The bible condemns sex outside the context of marriage (for-ni-ca-tion).

So stop trying to say it doesn't.

Thanks.

Reply 19

Anonymous #2

I felt this way after doing stuff with my ex...but it was just my body's way of trying to tell me I wasn't ready and he wasn't the right one to be doing things with...that's why I got rid of him...he made me feel dirty and worthless because he only wanted one thing