When happiness and creating happiness for others was my philosophy in life, there was self-satisfaction, honour, friendships and respect but very little notable success. Success being academic performance, finance and well, I didn't find a relationship either. My A-Levels were shocking, my work-ethic wasn't ruthless at all and I was clutching at straws as far as studies went which you cannot afford to do in A-Levels. I was in contact with a lot of females and I avoided being clingy but they all knew deep down I would never be capable of hurting them. In a way, that may have been a bad thing. I'm not going to pretend I know what they thought, but aside from flirting I don't think I ever got a hint to go that one step further. Lot of friendships, lot of "sisters", but maybe too many.
When those people were no longer around and I was left in a crappy situation with very little success, I soon became more success orientated. I started setting myself goals on a regular basis. I've now got into the university I didn't get into last year. However on the flipside, I turned into more of an ********. I decided that I wasn't getting anything out of my former mentality (which I now call the "loser mentality"), I can make friends with anyone, people come and go but actually having my life in order isn't something that'll be doable forever. I now delude myself into thinking I'm more special than I most likely am, I'll happily argue my case without worrying about sentiments. I've acknowledged the world is a tough, competitive place where you need to work hard and take no prisoners. I couldn't ignore that forever, my previous philosophy was very positive but reality got me in the end. I guess I went from a likeable person with principles to a person who abandoned their principles, avoided contact with college friends for months and went the lone trail to achieve something. Today I may have lost a friend because of my new approach, or at least lost much of her respect.
I don't think I can achieve at University without sticking to my current mentality, but I always feel like I might be tarnishing a good reputation by "not taking bull**** from anyone" and being more blunt about things. Even my humour has become more vulgar (although it works) but it's not as charismatic as it was. And somewhat sadly I might even have better chances with women by being like this, it's already proving to be more successful. **** world, but I guess you have to adapt to survive.
What side do you tend towards more? Or are you able to balance it out? Happiness or Success?
I would like to say I would lean more towards Happiness.
BTW, I haven't read all your post but hapiness is being FREE. It doesn't restrict you to anything. It is unconditional. Where as success although it can lead to hapiness there will be times where it has to be conditional upon things for example: "I will be happy when I graduated with a First" etc.
I have neither at the moment (working on it). If i had to choose, i'd pick success each and every time. Ofcourse i could live a happy life without success (academic/career-wise) but i wouldn't feel complete. Whereas, if i was successful, happiness would closely follow.
Success is just a means by which to obtain happiness, no? If you are not happy with your happiness then it is not happiness at all, just a shallow illusion of it. Being happy will not always mean being successful, nor will success always mean being happy. However, success without happiness is meaningless whereas happiness without success does - in fact - have purpose.
Using this argument, with happiness as the chief good, you find that success and happiness cross over and can be the same thing to certain people.
If you feel that the pressure and lifestyle that is necessary for the success you search for, you'll probably find happiness with the success as an end result, it's merely a way-in of long term gain over short term gain.