[hopingtobeadentist]

(Original post by chriscahill9)
Yeah, basically there is this girl at my university who I have been doing some Spanish lessons with, and in return I help her improve her English, because I've always wanted to learn another language and obv. uni is a great opportunity for that.

It also happens to be that this girl is really hot as well. Even though I can't prove anything and nothing has happened between us I think there is a mutual attraction there as well.

When I first met this girl and for the first 3 weeks or so I was seeing her my hair was longer than I normally had it before. I have never actually had it long but it's just that normally I get it cut very short so for me it is.

Because this girl is Spanish it is in her culture that you hug a boy and let him kiss you on both cheeks as a greeting. I noticed however, that when I got a haircut and my hair was really short the next time I saw her she didn't do anything but say hi.

This was a recurring pattern I noticed and I'd never been rude or said anything wrong to her so I figured it could have only been this. I asked my friend and he said its because most guys in Spain don't get their hair really short like I do (I get basically a buzz cut but just with more hair on the top) and so it's not in their culture.

So girls, I'm interested, would whether a boy gets his hair cut long, short, etc actually influence that much whether you find him attractive or not?


Thanks

I couldn't be bothered to read what you wrote, but if a girl just likes him then yes, if she loves and is committed to him then no, if she's just attracted to him then yes.

[Mequa]

(Original post by thisisnew)
We're all human here, leave your faux morals at the door.

"It's human nature" = naturalistic fallacy.

I have a preference for long hair on a woman myself, but if short hair were an actual deal-breaker or a really big deal and major deciding factor in whether or not I wanted a relationship with her, I'd be a shallow douche indeed.

[hiding12]

(Original post by chriscahill9)
Yeah, I probably will if I see her again. I think the reason might be is because when I get my hair cut short I get that kind of 'gangster' style where the sides are pointed and faded in and it's neat all over.

It looks good on me and I really like it but what I've found interesting is the impact that something seemingly small like a haircut has on other people's perceptions of you.

For example, I'm not the type of guy at all who gets in to fights or starts trouble but a lot of people look intimidated by me when I'm out because of the style of my haircut and on the tube no one even looks at me lol.

I'm just purely guessing here but maybe the reason this girl is put off by my hair when it's like that is not only simply because of attractiveness but because the image it gives off of me as the type of person I am is not the type of guy she likes.

Obviously I can't know without asking her in some way, but it's just a guess. Additionally her friend who I met when my hair was longer I saw again one other time on the day I'd had a haircut also seemed put off by it and she is Spanish as well, so that's why I thought it was possibly to do with Spanish culture.

I dont know mate, just do what you want, if she's shallow enough not to like you for your haircut then she's prob not worth it

[thisisnew]

(Original post by Mequa)
"It's human nature" = naturalistic fallacy.

I have a preference for long hair on a woman myself, but if short hair were an actual deal-breaker or a really big deal and major deciding factor in whether or not I wanted a relationship with her, I'd be a shallow douche indeed.

No you wouldn't, you'd just be finding short hair unattractive and being attracted to somebody is an integral part in forming and maintaining a relationship with somebody.

And no, it is not a naturalistic fallacy, it's called being pragmatic and you're not being honest with yourself if you hold the stance that there's nothing about the physical appearance of somebody that may go a little or a long way towards putting you off them or finding them less attractive and undesirable whether it be hair, height or weight and so on.

To be shallow is to be superficial and to be superficial is to judge one based solely on appearance or in the materialistic sense - not once have I said that I would 'judge' [in the superficial sense] a person based on their hair alone - I don't walk around and see somebody with hair I dislike and think "Jeez, you're a terrible person", I think "I don't find that attractive" which in turn makes me not want to get to know what's underneath based on the fact that I do not find them attractive and the recognition that being physically attracted to somebody is vital in forming and maintaining a relationship - that's kind of how attraction works and how and why people meet certain people. I repeat, if this is shallow then every single person on this planet is shallow. You may want to refine your personal definition of the word.

[Mequa]

(Original post by thisisnew)
I think "I don't find that attractive" which in turn makes me not want to get to know what's underneath based on the fact that I do not find them attractive and the recognition that being physically attracted to somebody is vital in forming and maintaining a relationship - that's kind of how attraction works and how and why people meet certain people.

No, that's how it works for you, not for everyone. Don't project your personal shallowness onto the entire human race to make yourself feel better. Not everyone is actually like that.

And if you don't want to get to know what's underneath because of being put off by first impressions of physical appearance, then yes, you are a shallow person. Not "human nature", it's YOU. Own it, don't project that onto everyone else.

And yes, I do pass judgment, I find it a reprehensible character flaw, especially when someone tries to justify it by claiming everyone else is like that. The old "it's human nature" excuse. It's a logical fallacy shallow types do to try to make themselves feel better, which fails to justify it. And anyone seeking a serious relationship had better consider such a personality flaw a "red flag".

I wasn't initially attracted to my current girlfriend at all, yet after getting to know her as a person, she became attractive to me with time. I assume to you that wouldn't be possible because they'd be "written off" by then, and you wouldn't want to see beyond the surface?

[thisisnew]

(Original post by Mequa)
No, that's how it works for you, not for everyone. Don't project your personal shallowness onto the entire human race to make yourself feel better. Not everyone is actually like that.

You're not being honest with yourself.

And if you don't want to get to know what's underneath because of being put off by first impressions of physical appearance, then yes, you are a shallow person. Not "human nature", it's YOU. Own it, don't project that onto everyone else.

When you look at somebody you weigh up the things you like about the way they look and the things you don't then you decide whether you find them attractive or not - it doesn't matter who you are or what your name is, everybody does this to a degree and this is the way the vast majority of people come to meet a partner; by liking the way they look then getting to know them. Sure, some people are with their partners because they've known them for a while and they've simply grown to be attracted to them (even then physical attraction still plays a huge role) - doesn't change the fact if they separated, they will do what I have described above.

You're being awfully defensive and you seem to be offended by my pragmatism and the fact that if I don't find somebody initially attractive (of which hair, facial features etc all play a role), I won't want to get to know them [when seeking a partner] - this doesn't make me shallow, it makes me human with preferences and the right to act in accordance with those preferences and not once have I cast a moral judgment over this therefore bringing up the mentioned fallacy was in itself fallacious.

Let me clear something up before you burst a blood vessel. What I'm not saying is that if somebody has a dodgy haircut, I think they're a bad and boring person and if they wanted to talk to me in the street I'd tell them to get ****ed.

And yes, I do pass judgment, I find it a reprehensible character flaw, especially when someone tries to justify it by claiming everyone else is like that. The old "it's human nature" excuse. It's a logical fallacy shallow types do to try to make themselves feel better, which fails to justify it. And anyone seeking a serious relationship had better consider such a personality flaw a "red flag".

Stop arguing against a position I don't even hold. I've already clarified my position, explained how the fallacy is not applicable to my position and I said I do not 'judge' an actual persons personality based on initial attraction so you can stop repeating yourself, it's boring.

I wasn't initially attracted to my current girlfriend at all, yet after getting to know her as a person, she became attractive to me with time. I assume to you that wouldn't be possible because they'd be "written off" by then, and you wouldn't want to see beyond the surface?

And yet if you were to go your separate ways and you were actively seeking a partner, you would walk down the street and consciously/subconsciously evaluate people based on how physically attractive you initially find them - several variables effect the end evaluation such as hair, facial features, height, weight and so on - yes or no?

If no then you're not being honest with yourself because like I said, you're human just like the rest of us (and by this I don't mean it's morally acceptable or unacceptable, I'm just stating that it's a fact of life and as such it's wrong for people like you to berate others who talk openly and pragmatically about it).

If yes then good, glad you can accept it, doesn't make you a morally repugnant person - an accusation you seem petrified of and will argue fallaciously and militantly in order to defend yourself from such an accusation. Now you've accepted this, refer back to the original post, the girl in question seems to find him less attractive when he gets his hair cut a certain way which is perfectly fine, I merely reaffirmed this point and this is where you took problem with it and assumed that I was being shallow. This is the part where you accept that it's not shallow, it's just the way people work, perhaps it would be shallow if this girl only ever had intentions of being friends with him and decided that his new hair meant that she doesn't want to be friends with him but that's an entirely different scenario altogether (sadly one your argument would be better suited for) and if you are unable to accept that it's not shallow then you must accept that you yourself are a shallow person upon answering yes to my question. Either way, you're either being dishonest and unrealistic to yourself about how you find people attractive or you accept that like the rest of the human race and regardless of how you came to be attracted to your girlfriend, you accept that certain physical features on a person make them more or less attractive and as such, it is perfectly fine to not want to get to know somebodies personality based on the realization that it would be pointless because one or more things mean that you just do not find them physically attractive enough to want to be with them.

A lot of this is merely rhetorical, don't answer it because I can already predict what you're going to say. Just have a good think about it and be honest and open with yourself, if you're not willing to do that then jog on. Well, even if you are, do so because I do hate giving so much time to people who love flexing their pretend morals on the internet. You're not making yourself look like a shining white knight, you just look like somebody who struggles to accept even the simple things in life for fear of being branded a bad word and the way you go about 'protecting' yourself from these bad words is borderline pitiful - that my friend is a 'red flag'.

^__^

[mallreplica]

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[Donald Duck]

Of course it can.

[britchick]

No joke, the top 3 things that take my interest in a guy are haircut, smile and eyes. In that order.

I think a guy's haircut says a lot about his character. Since it's generally the only thing in terms of facial appearance that guys can put time and effort into, a well-styled cut can show he grooms himself well, which a lot of girls prefer nowadays.

In your case it could be true that she finds a certain haircut more attractive, or it could just be that since you got it cut you look really different. It sounds a bit silly but even with my female friends, if they go from having long hair to short hair they seem like a bit of a different person and it might take a while to sink in and get used to it.

If I was a guy I'd just have endless experimentation with my hair! Just try different lengths and different styles to see what you or she likes best.

[tssf_skye]

I wouldn't stop liking him, i might find him slightly less good-looking or attractive but at the end of the day that's really not even that important, it will grow.

I was watching this programme the other day, and one of the contestants had really nice dark curly hair, he was omg. Then he got it cut and it was lighter and striaght and i didn't think he wasn't attractive, just a little bit less then before.

[Palatial Veranda]

In order to establish some parity of attractiveness, I try to transpose people's inward and outward physical characteristics so I imagine a vivid visual picture of their insides when I am looking at them from the outside.

So what some may be seeing as a 'blonde stunner' I will be seeing as an assemblage of muculent and bloodied organs and what some people may be seeing as a repulsive chimera' I will likewise be seeing as another assemblage of muculent and bloodied organs.

[x-Ruby-x]

A guy's haircut can make him more attractive, but I doubt I would be more attracted to him/willing to date as a result...

[Chumbaniya]

I've experienced girls having incredibly negative reactions to me getting very short haircuts before. People who previously thought I was very attractive were absolutely horrified.

[chriscahill9]

(Original post by Chumbaniya)
I've experienced girls having incredibly negative reactions to me getting very short haircuts before. People who previously thought I was very attractive were absolutely horrified.

Interesting.

[Lilahx]

Sometimesss. But otherwise, she's probably just shallow, Or you're paranoid.

[Chumbaniya]

(Original post by chriscahill9)
Interesting.

It's probably an amplified effect because my hair, when it's a little longer, gets a lot of attention. If you're the sort of person that people see and think "Wow, I like his hair", a haircut will obviously make a big difference, but otherwise it probably isn't a big deal.

[sweeter than a cherry pie]

A person's haircut can make a huge difference to their looks, so I suppose the hairstyle you have upon meeting someone for the first time may well be a factor in whether or not they find you attractive, but I'd have thought that only a really shallow person would go off someone they already liked just because they had their hair cut...