[PieEatingHorses]

Hey guys.

I know this kind of topic probably comes up a lot, but I am absolutely nervous about going to University (Plymouth). But not because I'm scared of leaving home, being independent thats all fine, nor is it the financial aspects. But rather, the social sides of University life. By no means am I an anti-social person, I'm always happy and so forth. However, I do not, drink or smoke or anything like that at all. Nor do I plan in doing. I know it would be quite ignorant for me to say that it's all like that, as I'm sure its not. But, I'm nervous about the fact that I may seem increasingly anti-social to people as I will rarely, go clubbing for the simple fact I hate it!

So, I'm worried about that side of University, and I really do think not going clubbing or similar in the first year would screw up my University social life. I'd love if someone could share their experience who was in a similar situation to me, in any case I'd love to read some replies.

Thank you!

EDIT:

Note - By no means am I against alcohol or anything like that, I don't mind if people go get drunk or do weed etc that doesn't bother me at all! I'd just rather not be there while they're doing it.

EDIT 2:

I have a feeling this will end up with a fair few downvote's. Although, alike everyone here I'm simply asking a question... refer to the above edit also. I have nothing against those who drink, do weed or whatever. Their choice, I don't judge them or anything like that! Nor do I dislike them for it! Chill.

[jam277]

(Original post by PieEatingHorses)
Hey guys.

I know this kind of topic probably comes up a lot, but I am absolutely nervous about going to University (Plymouth). But not because I'm scared of leaving home, being independent thats all fine, nor is it the financial aspects. But rather, the social sides of University life. By no means am I an anti-social person, I'm always happy and so forth. However, I do not, drink or smoke or anything like that at all. Nor do I plan in doing. I know it would be quite ignorant for me to say that it's all like that, as I'm sure its not. But, I'm nervous about the fact that I may seem increasingly anti-social to people as I will rarely, go clubbing for the simple fact I hate it!

So, I'm worried about that side of University, and I really do think not going clubbing or similar in the first year would screw up my University social life. I'd love if someone could share their experience who was in a similar situation to me, in any case I'd love to read some replies.

Thank you!

EDIT:

Note - By no means am I against alcohol or anything like that, I don't mind if people go get drunk or do weed etc that doesn't bother me at all! I'd just rather not be there while they're doing it.

Fair enough I guess, no one will judge you as long as you don't judge them, you can talk to them though and get to know them like you would with your friends at home, you don't have to go out all the time, plus it uses up money anyway.

[dom99]

Ill be honist and say not drinking or going out may make it difficult to make long lasting friends, because you see people at uni during the day, and cement your friendship by getting pissed and downing a pint of beer through a funnel stuck up your a** (messy times )

The key for you will be to find like minded people, which is hard because you don't say "who here hates clubbing?" due to most people thinking you are gay.

My gf had the same problem but eventually just naturally fell in with the people that suited her

[Sir Fox]

(Original post by PieEatingHorses)
X

In regard to the issues you started I'm 100% like you - mind changing your university choice and coming over to Dundee?

My plan is to meet people in the residences, having a strict policy of an open door, already getting into contact with people before actually starting university (am already in contact with some future students) and meeting people through societies and my course.

I like to make myself believe that in the end everything will be fine and as I'm quite a social person (just literally abhore clubbing and getting drunk) I don't think I actually have to fear something

[Sir Fox]

(Original post by dom99)
The key for you will be to find like minded people, which is hard because you don't say "who here hates clubbing?" due to most people thinking you are gay.

That's exactly the problem - we consider our society to be open and tolerant towards everyone yet if you hate clubbing people automatically assume you are a nerd without any friends

[Nanpa]

First of all, there is no need to worry. Not everyone at uni goes clubbing and even the people that do go don't always go. Me and my friends go clubbing but there has been loads of times when we stay in and watch a film together etc.

When you get to uni you will realise that you will tend to naturally gravitate to people who are similar to yourself so don't worry because you'll find people who have similar interests to yourself and you'll have a great time.

Enjoy it

[PieEatingHorses]

(Original post by dom99)
Ill be honist and say not drinking or going out may make it difficult to make long lasting friends, because you see people at uni during the day, and cement your friendship by getting pissed and downing a pint of beer through a funnel stuck up your a** (messy times )

The key for you will be to find like minded people, which is hard because you don't say "who here hates clubbing?" due to most people thinking you are gay.

My gf had the same problem but eventually just naturally fell in with the people that suited her

I agree, that I understand it would be hard. But, I was just curious as to whether there were like minded people.

Also, I am not gay (Not that I have anything against gays). I am just not really bothered any more about trying to sleep with as many girls as possible... been there done that.

(Original post by Nanpa)
First of all, there is no need to worry. Not everyone at uni goes clubbing and even the people that do go don't always go. Me and my friends go clubbing but there has been loads of times when we stay in and watch a film together etc.

When you get to uni you will realise that you will tend to naturally gravitate to people who are similar to yourself so don't worry because you'll find people who have similar interests to yourself and you'll have a great time.

Enjoy it

I hope so, but I do not doubt that I can make friends and so forth as I'm a really friendly guy (I know that sounds arrogant but, yeah I'm nice!). It's just that people would come up with some assumptions as always.... e.g. "he thinks he's better than us" "he's gay" "he's anti-social" with all the stupid judgments which follow! But, I go clubbing occasionally but really not that often probably once every month or two. Although, there are other things I'd love to do in replace of clubbing.

Thank you for the reply as well.

(Original post by Sir Fox)
That's exactly the problem - we consider our society to be open and tolerant towards everyone yet if you hate clubbing people automatically assume you are a nerd without any friends

Okay, well I could explain why I dislike clubbing but I'd probably end up offending someone. I understand the connection between dislikiking clubbing and "no friends". Although, one of the main reasons I don't really enjoy it, is that I did it all when I was like 15-16 clubbing, girls and so forth none of it interests me (Sorry that made me sound as if I turned gay, girls do still interest me!) in the slightest any more. I by no means have no friends, I have plenty. I just don't go out getting pissed with them! However, I must confess I am a bit of a nerd :3, though I am very sociable... just not with alcohol, drunk people, and sick.

(Original post by Sir Fox)
In regard to the issues you started I'm 100% like you - mind changing your university choice and coming over to Dundee?

My plan is to meet people in the residences, having a strict policy of an open door, already getting into contact with people before actually starting university (am already in contact with some future students) and meeting people through societies and my course.

I like to make myself believe that in the end everything will be fine and as I'm quite a social person (just literally abhore clubbing and getting drunk) I don't think I actually have to fear something

Sorry, I didn't reply or read this bit! And aha, sadly not! Although I am planning to go through adjustment if my predictions right. I plan to do the same actually, I do intend to meet as many people as possible in a short period of time. Then of course, those who you get along with most are those who you will become closer to I guess.

[Stilo]

(Original post by dom99)
Ill be honist and say not drinking or going out may make it difficult to make long lasting friends, because you see people at uni during the day, and cement your friendship by getting pissed and downing a pint of beer through a funnel stuck up your a** (messy times )

The key for you will be to find like minded people, which is hard because you don't say "who here hates clubbing?" due to most people thinking you are gay.

My gf had the same problem but eventually just naturally fell in with the people that suited her

Am I the only one who isn't going to act like I didn't just read that?

[Jerne]

I'm sort of in the same boat as you. If I had gone to uni when I first left school I probably would have gone to halls and would be partying pretty hard but I'm going on 21 (not even old, I know) and I just don't like going out on the town as much anymore. I do enjoy a good night out like 2-3 times a month though. I opted for a nice flat instead of halls so hopefully there'll be some chilled out people who, like me, enjoy things in moderation. Im sure you'll be fine, you'll meet people off your course and stuff so you'll have plenty of friends from different circles to hang out with if you don't feel like going out clubbing.

[shuttermagic]

Hi I think its normal that you're feeling a bit nervous about going to uni.

I'm a uni student and I don't drink or go out clubbing and from my experience I think the best thing to do when someone asks is to just be open about the fact youre not into that.
Most people won't mind at all, though there might be some people who don't really "get it", but everyone's different... I mean not everyone likes apples either.

But anyway, not drinking won't mean you can't make friends, as you will see a lot of people during the daytime side of uni too, and you will most likely also meet people who don't drink or go out (even if they are a bit harder to find).

You could also join a society and meet more people that way.

Good luck. xx

[Nirgilis]

TL;DR - You'll be fine, so long as you make an effort. Getting involved at every opportunity gets you friends, not avoiding every opportunity.

(Original post by PieEatingHorses)
Hey guys.

I know this kind of topic probably comes up a lot, but I am absolutely nervous about going to University (Plymouth). But not because I'm scared of leaving home, being independent thats all fine, nor is it the financial aspects. But rather, the social sides of University life. By no means am I an anti-social person, I'm always happy and so forth. However, I do not, drink or smoke or anything like that at all. Nor do I plan in doing. I know it would be quite ignorant for me to say that it's all like that, as I'm sure its not. But, I'm nervous about the fact that I may seem increasingly anti-social to people as I will rarely, go clubbing for the simple fact I hate it!

You are right when you say you're being ignorant. Yes, the majority of students drink, no, the majority of students don't smoke. However, it only becomes an issue if you, yourself, make it an issue. Just because you don't drink doesn't mean you can't get involved! If your flat/course/society friends are going to the pub, go along, engage in (increasingly drunken from their point of view) conversation and it'll be fine. People will ask why you don't drink, yes. You may get the rotten end of a joke or two, yes. But people really, really don't care. If they do, then they're petty people (but I've yet to come across one). If you don't want to go clubbing, fine! Don't! During actual term time, people go out maybe once or twice a week. By missing out on these evenings, you're not going to have a detrimental effect on making friends, you just won't be at the centre of the 'OMG THAT WAS SO HILARIOUS' chat that happens about various events the next day . I would say, however, during freshers, at least go and get involved at pre-drinks (though don't drink if you don't want to). That way you're making friends and they won't disappear till 10/11 in the evening anyway - you will definitely not get branded antisocial, though you may be at the receiving ends of endless invitations to go out with them . If the rest of your flat is going? I would say grit your teeth and go out the first time. This will gain you points with your flatmates for at least trying, and you never have to go out again if you don't want to (I would say do this anyway. It may be a completely different experience to the one you're used to/expecting, and it'll be a shame to let misconceptions get in the way of having, what could be, fun).

So, I'm worried about that side of University, and I really do think not going clubbing or similar in the first year would screw up my University social life. I'd love if someone could share their experience who was in a similar situation to me, in any case I'd love to read some replies.

Thank you!

If all else fails, join a society. There'll be people there that share the same interests as you and it gives you something to do with your evenings . I don't really drink, but by getting involved with societies and people who do, I haven't lost out on a social life. Anyway, it's hilarious watching people getting more and more drunk. Yes, you may end up walking them home, but if they're decent people, they'll more than make up for the favour the following day in the way of apologies (and if you're lucky, food!)

EDIT:

Note - By no means am I against alcohol or anything like that, I don't mind if people go get drunk or do weed etc that doesn't bother me at all! I'd just rather not be there while they're doing it.

People will respect your wishes when it comes to drugs. If you don't want to be there, they understand that. However, when it comes to the pub (or whatever), they may be a bit more concerned if you don't want to go along. Most people will not bat an eyelid if you don't drink, but they may do if it's the drunk people that's the problem (as they may take this as a personal offence). My advice is to go along with them while they're at home/at the pub even when they're drinking, just don't when they go clubbing.

(Original post by dom99)
Ill be honist and say not drinking or going out may make it difficult to make long lasting friends, because you see people at uni during the day, and cement your friendship by getting pissed and downing a pint of beer through a funnel stuck up your a** (messy times )

If people have a problem with you not drinking, they're not meant to be long lasting friends. End of. However, going down to the pub after lectures is a very common course of action. Go along when people invite you there, as chances are it's only for a social drink and not to get absolutely plastered (unless it's a Friday. But people usually make their intentions clear beforehand anyway). Anyway, there's nothing wrong with excusing yourself after a couple of hours so long as you've actually made the effort.

(Original post by Sir Fox)
That's exactly the problem - we consider our society to be open and tolerant towards everyone yet if you hate clubbing people automatically assume you are a nerd without any friends

Not really. It's acceptable to not like clubbing. You're a nerd without friends if you don't ever make an effort to socialise. As I said above, so long as you get involved before they go out, no-one's going to think any different of you. Go at least once so they know you're not just avoiding them, and they'll appreciate if you no longer go out with them again. You actually have to try, otherwise people start to think it's an avoidance tactic (and you want to avoid flatmate disputes if you can ) .

(Original post by Nanpa)
First of all, there is no need to worry. Not everyone at uni goes clubbing and even the people that do go don't always go. Me and my friends go clubbing but there has been loads of times when we stay in and watch a film together etc.

When you get to uni you will realise that you will tend to naturally gravitate to people who are similar to yourself so don't worry because you'll find people who have similar interests to yourself and you'll have a great time.

Enjoy it

This. As I've said previously, people go out once or twice a week. On the 5 other days, there'll be plenty of other things to do, even if it's something as simple as watching a DVD or plugging in a games console in the kitchen. It's just a matter of getting involved in an activity with everybody.

(Original post by PieEatingHorses)
I hope so, but I do not doubt that I can make friends and so forth as I'm a really friendly guy (I know that sounds arrogant but, yeah I'm nice!). It's just that people would come up with some assumptions as always.... e.g. "he thinks he's better than us" "he's gay" "he's anti-social" with all the stupid judgments which follow! But, I go clubbing occasionally but really not that often probably once every month or two. Although, there are other things I'd love to do in replace of clubbing.

Based on this paragraph, you're not going to have any problem whatsoever!

Sorry, I didn't reply or read this bit! And aha, sadly not! Although I am planning to go through adjustment if my predictions right. I plan to do the same actually, I do intend to meet as many people as possible in a short period of time. Then of course, those who you get along with most are those who you will become closer to I guess.

Bingo. Also remember that it's never too late to change your friends. Join a society, get involved with them and people will accept you. I got involved in a society in February, and 6 weeks later, it was like I'd been there all year!

(Original post by Jerne)
I'm sort of in the same boat as you. If I had gone to uni when I first left school I probably would have gone to halls and would be partying pretty hard but I'm going on 21 (not even old, I know) and I just don't like going out on the town as much anymore. I do enjoy a good night out like 2-3 times a month though. I opted for a nice flat instead of halls so hopefully there'll be some chilled out people who, like me, enjoy things in moderation. Im sure you'll be fine, you'll meet people off your course and stuff so you'll have plenty of friends from different circles to hang out with if you don't feel like going out clubbing.

Jerne makes a very good point. You will have more than one circle of friends. If you really want to avoid a club night with one circle, simply arrange to do something with another circle!


Anyways, finding and making friends at university is easier than everybody predicts. It's just a matter of getting out there, trying new things, meeting new people and finding the activities that you enjoy most, even if it's not clubbing. Being nervous about starting university tends to make you overanalyse things. Just get there, see where the first couple of weeks takes you and take it from there!

[Luckypupil]

(Original post by PieEatingHorses)
Hey guys.

I know this kind of topic probably comes up a lot, but I am absolutely nervous about going to University (Plymouth). But not because I'm scared of leaving home, being independent thats all fine, nor is it the financial aspects. But rather, the social sides of University life. By no means am I an anti-social person, I'm always happy and so forth. However, I do not, drink or smoke or anything like that at all. Nor do I plan in doing. I know it would be quite ignorant for me to say that it's all like that, as I'm sure its not. But, I'm nervous about the fact that I may seem increasingly anti-social to people as I will rarely, go clubbing for the simple fact I hate it!

So, I'm worried about that side of University, and I really do think not going clubbing or similar in the first year would screw up my University social life. I'd love if someone could share their experience who was in a similar situation to me, in any case I'd love to read some replies.

Thank you!

EDIT:

Note - By no means am I against alcohol or anything like that, I don't mind if people go get drunk or do weed etc that doesn't bother me at all! I'd just rather not be there while they're doing it.

EDIT 2:

I have a feeling this will end up with a fair few downvote's. Although, alike everyone here I'm simply asking a question... refer to the above edit also. I have nothing against those who drink, do weed or whatever. Their choice, I don't judge them or anything like that! Nor do I dislike them for it! Chill.

You will be absolutely fine. I went to Durham a while back and that had a heavy drinking culture. There is such a diverse range of students, interests, hobbies and groups at every university that you will make so many like minded friends.

Have a great time and don't worry Life is too short

[PieEatingHorses]

(Original post by Nirgilis)
--

Not going to qoute it all, and I have to say thank you to you! You clearly took a bit of time writing that, and I understand where you're coming from and I will 100% take you're advice on board.

PS: You're now the first person I've EVER given rep too!

[littleone271]

(Original post by PieEatingHorses)
Hey guys.

I know this kind of topic probably comes up a lot, but I am absolutely nervous about going to University (Plymouth). But not because I'm scared of leaving home, being independent thats all fine, nor is it the financial aspects. But rather, the social sides of University life. By no means am I an anti-social person, I'm always happy and so forth. However, I do not, drink or smoke or anything like that at all. Nor do I plan in doing. I know it would be quite ignorant for me to say that it's all like that, as I'm sure its not. But, I'm nervous about the fact that I may seem increasingly anti-social to people as I will rarely, go clubbing for the simple fact I hate it!

So, I'm worried about that side of University, and I really do think not going clubbing or similar in the first year would screw up my University social life. I'd love if someone could share their experience who was in a similar situation to me, in any case I'd love to read some replies.

Thank you!

EDIT:

Note - By no means am I against alcohol or anything like that, I don't mind if people go get drunk or do weed etc that doesn't bother me at all! I'd just rather not be there while they're doing it.

EDIT 2:

I have a feeling this will end up with a fair few downvote's. Although, alike everyone here I'm simply asking a question... refer to the above edit also. I have nothing against those who drink, do weed or whatever. Their choice, I don't judge them or anything like that! Nor do I dislike them for it! Chill.

If you don't want to drink or smoke then that's your decision and it's totally fair enough. I don't think it will really be practical to not want to be around other people drinking though... unless you spend your evenings in your room or find some friends who don't drink at all. You say that people drinking doesn't bother you but it obviously does bother you if you don't want to be around them so that might be something you could work on perhaps?

[ell-]

I have to say I am in the exact same boat as you. Because of this im steering more towards staying home rather than moving though I would have liked to. It is a pity that you have better chance of making friends through means of alcohol and so on and people judge you as stuck up etc if you choose to not drink.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[blondie :)]

As long as you make an effort then it shouldn't matter! Most people don't really care if someone doesn't drink, as long as you still make an effort (such as still going to the pub with everyone just to be social). People who do go out clubbing don't always want to anyway, I certainly don't! Sometimes it is just better to sit in and watch a film. Like others have said, if someone does have a problem with the fact you don't drink, then they're not worth your time.