[ufo2012]

What we say and what we really mean:
How bumbling Britons avoid confrontation with 60 unnecessary words a day

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...=feeds-newsxml


Rather than get to the point, Britons skirt around issues and use long-winded phrases to hide what they really think leading to confusion and arguments according to an American survey.


Foreigners aren't the only ones who have trouble understanding, with a third of us struggling to decipher what people really mean and 46 per cent wishing we could be more direct talking like New Yorkers who are known for their straight talking.


TOP FIVE PHRASES TO AVOID CONFRONTATION:

'Maybe' means 'no'
'I’m fine' means 'I’m not, stop asking'
'It is OK' means 'I am really disappointed'
'Could we consider some other options?' means 'I don’t like your idea' (when talking to colleagues)
'I understand what you are saying' means 'I disagree and do not want to discuss it further'

Saying ‘that’s not bad’ actually mean ‘that’s good’ while in true British style 29 per cent shy away from confrontation by using the phrase ‘I kind of agree’ when really they do not agree at all.

Britons are worse in the workplace with two-fifths avoiding straight talking by not being direct enough with colleagues.

According to the New York Bakery Company over a lifetime Britons use 1.7 million unnecessary words - 60 words every day, 420 needless words a week and 21,840 a year but when it comes to family and friends we have no qualms telling our true thoughts.



So is it time we became more 'straight talking' and got to the point with others?

[`R92]

Nope

[Inverse]

Did you pull these statistics out of your ass?

[LookIt'sPete]

I dunno really, I guess I kind of agree...

[Dmon1Unlimited]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...=feeds-newsxml

I assume that's your source.
There's a guide to being British? I've never really noticed anything wrong really...
Such as not bad =good....Come on, really?... e.e

On a side note, regarding the top 5, it reminded me of a tv show where a guy translated the 'girl language'

This may perhaps be a little pet peeve to fix assuming the majority of Britain actually do so, but I don't see much bother in it...is it that much of a problem that a guide needs to be issued?

[ufo2012]

Sorry I thought I had included the link - I did mean to.

So no, the statistics came from the report.

Fixed post to include link.

And yes it's in the wrong section so requested it to be moved.

[Arekkusu]

Strong Whorfian fallacy

[simonbellringer]

"Can we talk frankly?"
"There is no other way to talk."

Tennessee Williams.


And I agree!! Sod this hedging, these politeness strategies, and a lot of this small talk (sort of relevant to this thread!!) - if you've gotta say something, say it properly!!

[Martyn*]

(Original post by Inverse)
Did you pull these statistics out of your ass?

Which is another way of saying...

[AverageExcellence]

So in short grow a backbone

[fuzznbass]

The New York Bakery Company made this ?

[UniOfLife]

(Original post by ufo2012)
So is it time we became more 'straight talking' and got to the point with others?

60 extra words a day? How shocking. Assuming that someone talks really slowly and takes on average one second per word that's a whopping 1 whole minute per day! OMG!!111oneone!! We're wasting our lives away on being polite. Truly Britain will never become a global power of any worth so long as its citizens spend 0.07% of every day wasting time with allegedly unneeded words.

And more seriously, are these words actually wasted? I don't think so. The examples the OP gives are:

'Maybe' means 'no'
'I’m fine' means 'I’m not, stop asking'
'It is OK' means 'I am really disappointed'
'Could we consider some other options?' means 'I don’t like your idea' (when talking to colleagues)
'I understand what you are saying' means 'I disagree and do not want to discuss it further'

In all cases how do we know what is really meant? Because non-verbal communication accompanies the words. And the non-verbal element is well enough understood that the true intended meaning is perfectly conveyed. The positive of this approach is that the person you are speaking to doesn't receive a verbal slap in the face. Telling someone straight out that you hate their idea may well cause discomfort and ill-feeling. Saying it without saying it lets them know while dampening the emotional impact. Is that such a terrible thing? I hardly think so.

Sure, Americans might need time to learn British non-verbal signals but so what?

And one last thing - would it be impolite to point out that the examples of British wasted words are perhaps the most moronic set they could have provided? In total the British sayings total 18 words while the straight talking replacements total 24. So we're wasting words by not being straight talking but yet using fewer words than the blunt alternatives...

I think Betteridge's Law of Headlines applies perfectly to the OP's title (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betteri...w_of_Headlines)

[ufo2012]

(Original post by UniOfLife)
In total the British sayings total 18 words while the straight talking replacements total 24. So we're wasting words by not being straight talking but yet using fewer words than the blunt alternatives...

I think you have used way too many words in your reply to express yourself - pity you couldn't just have gotten straight to the point!

[A level Az]

No because sometimes it's just not worth it.

[Dfurness]

It's been passed around loads but it's true...

[Kiss]

You get labelled as being offensive to someone if you talk straight nowadays.

[No Man]

I think it's just one of the things besides the accent and words like 'mom' that distinguish Brits from Americans tbh.

[ufo2012]

(Original post by Kiss)
You get labelled as being offensive to someone if you talk straight nowadays.

Obviously some people need to grow some thicker skin nowadays!

[Pensivedore]

(Original post by No Man)
I think it's just one of the things besides the accent and words like 'mom' that distinguish Brits from Americans tbh.

And painfully removing 'u's' from words like 'colour' and 'favourite'

[LauraLouii]

I am really straight forward i say what i think and a lot of people hate me for it but a lot of people love me for it. To be honest i couldnt careless which one it is. At least people know where they stand with me


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