[Anonymous]

Had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and I found it really unenjoyable. I thought I was in love with him, but I now think I just loved him like a friend. There was never really a sexual attraction towards him on my part but I took advice from a friend who told me it's possible to be with someone intimately and enjoy it who you love purely on an emotional level....yeah apparently not.

It just felt so so wrong. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I have known him for 2 years which makes it so much worse, and we've been building up to it for ages

Really unsure what to say. He had a great time, and now I have to tell him I can only ever be his friend. His confidence will surely plummet?

Any help??

[SirMasterKey]

Was it your first time having sex (as in ever)?

Could it be more you didn't enjoy the whole experience and it might not be just him per se?

[Studentus-anonymous]

Just tell him you're not feeling any chemistry.

You didn't enjoy the sex but that doesn't mean he is bad at it, you just weren't into it.


Kinda refreshing to see a girl dump a guy after she got what she wanted though. New World Order lol.

[hali0112]

you said that you really built up to it... how did you feel when you were doing other sexual stuff? did you feel the same then? maybe you had so much expectation for your first time and that it wasn't as good as you thought it would be and that was why you were disappointed. maybe you should give it some time and maybe the sex will get better as you get more comfortable with eachother and find out what eachother likes and dislikes and find out what turns eachother on and off. that takes time. From your post, it's hard to tell whether you've had much sexual experience. Either way sometimes when you build something up, the expectation hinders the actual event. give it some time and see if you feel differently.

[Foo.mp3]

Might've been a good idea to have asked whether this was a good idea in the first place Now that's what I call a sticky situation..

[ken2]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and I found it really unenjoyable. I thought I was in love with him, but I now think I just loved him like a friend. There was never really a sexual attraction towards him on my part but I took advice from a friend who told me it's possible to be with someone intimately and enjoy it who you love purely on an emotional level....yeah apparently not.

It just felt so so wrong. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I have known him for 2 years which makes it so much worse, and we've been building up to it for ages

Really unsure what to say. He had a great time, and now I have to tell him I can only ever be his friend. His confidence will surely plummet?

Any help??

Stacey is that you?, I thought what we had was special!

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-I9100

[blondyx]

What exactly felt so wrong about it? did it feel wrong emotionally or did it just not turn you on at all or both?

If it just didnt turn you on and you just didnt like the sex and not him, talk to him about what you do like in bed and see if that changes anything.

[IgaveUPdrink]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and I found it really unenjoyable. I thought I was in love with him, but I now think I just loved him like a friend. There was never really a sexual attraction towards him on my part but I took advice from a friend who told me it's possible to be with someone intimately and enjoy it who you love purely on an emotional level....yeah apparently not.

It just felt so so wrong. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I have known him for 2 years which makes it so much worse, and we've been building up to it for ages

Really unsure what to say. He had a great time, and now I have to tell him I can only ever be his friend. His confidence will surely plummet?

Any help??

You are so shallow, all you think about is lust!
What goes around comes around, I hope some man in the future has sex with you and rejects the next day.

[chira07]

(Original post by IgaveUPdrink)
You are so shallow, all you think about is lust!
What goes around comes around, I hope some man in the future has sex with you and rejects the next day.

(Original post by IgaveUPdrink)
I notice, when I meet women and if they don’t seem interested in me as in they don’t want to have sex with me, they automatically become invisible to me. They might as well be dead for all I care
I just don’t see the use of a woman if she does not want to sleep with me or if she is not good looking enough that I want to sleep with her.
I don’t get anything out of being friends with women. The whole men and women can be friends is so FAKE, people lie to themselves.

Shallow, right?

[IgaveUPdrink]

(Original post by chira07)
Shallow, right?

Get your facts right, I don't have sex with women then reject them the next day.
I am not that cold hearted.

[Schmokie Dragon]

Sex can improve with time. As people get used to each other and learn what turns each other on, sex often gets better.

If the emotional side wasn't there - if you didn't feel lust or attraction, or some other compelling emotional experience that signifies a connection, then I wouldn't pursue a relationship. If the only thing wrong was the lack of mind blowing sex, I'd give it another chance.

Ultimately it's up to you. You don't owe him a relationship or more sex. Try to be clear and kind if you break things off.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[Pen Island]

If it was your first time ever having sex then chances are it was never going to be amazing.
And fyi, you don't need to be in love to have good sex.
Communicate what you want. Take what you've learnt about what you like from masterbation and time together doing oral/hand stuff and that could help you have better sex. Change positions, try and get clit stimulation. Try out more things.

But if you really don't have any sexual attraction to him, then why sleep with him anyway? Surely you wouldn't have got wet enough then during sex - so that's probably a big reason why it wasn't enjoyable. Why make him wait so long just so you can dump him after?

Before dumping him straight away try spending more time with him. Get to know him better, see if there's more of an emotional connection. Spend more time having sex too - sex tends to get better (if, like I said, you try different things to find what you like and communicate). If you still don't feel more attracted to him and whatever, then dump him...

[Anonymous]

you never know he must be thinking the same bout you,just be blunt and tel him it didnt feel right though i agree shallowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[restoration]

The first time I had sex with a guy ha he was really horrible about it and dumped me afterwards, he knew I wasn't experienced too and it really hurt me because we got along really well before, now I am not to bothered just think about what your doing.... He didn't say why he wanted to end it properly or even tell me in person, just texted after I left in the morning say he thought it wouldn't work and that was it, but I knew what it was as I thought it was awkward too but I think if you give it time things will probably get better... Sex with someone new/or first time sex isn't usually great it takes a while to get used to someone.

[laura94]

To be fair, having sex with someone for the first time is pretty much always ****.

[forgetamine]

This is why it's a good idea to have sex BEFORE you start a relationship with someone. Try before you buy.

[Anonymous]

try 3 years in a relationship with someone your not sexually attracted to!

[xXHolly_90Xx]

maybe he was nervous, people get better at sexual relationships with time. It could be fun to teach him