[#JayJay]

e.g. "she's way out of my league, I can't go out with her"

I mentioned this to a few of my mates and they laughed it off, saying that it's a playground school thing and that now that we're older (sixth form/university) that leagues don't apply so much

I'd have to slightly disagree. I still think that leagues exist as i'm always attracted to people that I can't pull -_- it's my one curse when it comes to attraction haha

[Wilfred Little]

No, if you're saying someone is out of your league you're putting them on a pedestal and nobody is better than me (and vice versa.) Men that do this are probably just intimidated by particular women, why are you intimidated by a woman for? Or anybody for that matter?

I would say I am worth getting to know as a person, I'm not saying if I was at a bar I'd look at a woman and think she's out of my league, I'd talk to her as a person and not really care if I got anywhere romantically. I don't go to every woman expecting it to go somewhere, so none are out of my league, if this makes sense.

[#JayJay]

(Original post by Wilfred Little)
No, if you're saying someone is out of your league you're putting them on a pedestal and nobody is better than me (and vice versa.) Men that do this are probably just intimidated by particular women, why are you intimidated by a woman for? Or anybody for that matter?

that's a really good way of thinking about it...really good. but then you must have to have extreme confidence about yourself to carry yourself like that

[RollandGarros]

Yes, but often it's me saying she's NOT IN my league rather than she's OUT OF my league.

[Wilfred Little]

(Original post by #JayJay)
that's a really good way of thinking about it...really good. but then you must have to have extreme confidence about yourself to carry yourself like that

I've got very low confidence but I'm good at hiding it.

[Redolent]

"League" is a bad way of thinking (not to mention unhealthy) because it implies the world of relationships is governed by some sort of objective group of factors, which it isn't. The kinds of people a person will go for is subjective to them, so it's a matter of taste rather than league.

Seriously I can hardly express enough how unhealthy it is to convince yourself you're beneath people you barely know, just because they're conventionally attractive or something

[ildaf123]

I think Leagues exist to some extent. Iv'e heard that there are a lot of studies which suggest you are usually attracted to people who are simular to you in attractiveness, im not disputing that there is no truth to that but I havn't noticed that so much in my life. But then again I guess I could'nt be the one to judge that, it would be for other people to jude wgether me and the guy are in each others 'leagues', for example I have always felt that the last 2 guys I was with were better looking than I was but for all I know they could of felt it was the other way round, so from our point of view its hard to get a good perspective of leagues and how we rate.

I don't think I place guys as either in or out of my leagues exactly, but I have limits. I think generally Im quite open to getting to know most guys and even if im not attracted to them at first I'll get to know them before I write them off but I know that I am atleast an alright looking girl so I guess I draw a line if I find a guy quite below average.

[#JayJay]

(Original post by Wilfred Little)
I've got very low confidence but I'm good at hiding it.

hmm, i'm similar. a lot of my friends think I have a lot of confidence when I don't have nearly as much as they think. I just try and keep up an act that i'm a really confident person.

I remember one time I got angry (the only time I got angry in first year) and people told me not to get like that again because it didn't suit me and it's not good seeing me when i'm not happy

(Original post by Redolent)
"League" is a bad way of thinking (not to mention unhealthy) because it implies the world of relationships is governed by some sort of objective group of factors, which it isn't. The kinds of people a person will go for is subjective to them, so it's a matter of taste rather than league.

I see what you're saying but isn't that the way the world generally works? there are objective factors that come into play and it's the same elements...

[9MmBulletz]

You can't pull because you don't talk a good one
Leagues are bull****- if you wanna get to know someone, nothing is stopping you.

[Redolent]

(Original post by #JayJay)
I see what you're saying but isn't that the way the world generally works? there are objective factors that come into play and it's the same elements...

It's kind of in the middle There are conventionally attractive and conventionally unattractive people, and you can attempt to draw up "leagues" based on that, but they're anything but absolute. For example I'm sure you don't completely agree with your friends about which girls are attractive and which aren't, in my experience there are sometimes very big differences between people

[#JayJay]

(Original post by Redolent)
It's kind of in the middle There are conventionally attractive and conventionally unattractive people, and you can attempt to draw up "leagues" based on that, but they're anything but absolute. For example I'm sure you don't completely agree with your friends about which girls are attractive and which aren't, in my experience there are sometimes very big differences between people

true...some of my mates have really bad tastes.

uggggh this thread is starting to break my belief in leagues already

[Chumbaniya]

The terminology of 'leagues' suggests something rather more strict than is the case, but I think the idea that anyone could potentially get with anyone else and it's all just pot luck is nothing more than a comforting fantasy. There are attractive, intelligent, charismatic, dedicated individuals out there who would never end up with any of the ugly, stupid, dull, lazy people who are also out there.

As far as I'm aware (point me at any evidence to the contrary if it exists) evidence suggests that people generally end up with others who are rated by third parties as roughly as appealing as they are. Intuitively, this makes a great deal of sense.

[forgetamine]

No I don't believe in leagues, it's just bull****.

[IgaveUPdrink]

(Original post by #JayJay)
e.g. "she's way out of my league, I can't go out with her"

I mentioned this to a few of my mates and they laughed it off, saying that it's a playground school thing and that now that we're older (sixth form/university) that leagues don't apply so much

I'd have to slightly disagree. I still think that leagues exist as i'm always attracted to people that I can't pull -_- it's my one curse when it comes to attraction haha

Yes there is a league, people subconscious rank people on their perceived worth.
Have you notice if a short geeky looking man went up to a tall, blonde, size 8 and tried to chat her up, people will all look and even giggle and think, "omg, he has balls, because she is way out of his leauge" and others might laugh at him for even trying.

but if a man who was 6 foot, tall, good looking did the same no one will be shocked.

[Foo.mp3]

There are leagues in life, anyone who tells you otherwise is an idealist and not to be taken seriously; that said, there are ways and means of gaining 'promotion'/getting 'relegated' in most contexts

[QTpie118]

No, there aren't leagues as such. You can't just put people into categories when it comes to relationships, there are so many variables. You can rate people on looks, but that's not what determines whether you start a long-term relationship with them.

[Schmokie Dragon]

Not everyone is attracted to everyone else. Fancying someone who you appear to be incapable of 'pulling' is just one of those things.

Granted, some people are really swayed by 'playground politics' which unfortunately seems to leak into adult life. They categorise people in terms of how cool, influential or otherwise desirable they are, and won't give someone a second glance if they don't make the grade. This sense that 'I'm too good for them' can cloud the fact that two people have a lot of chemistry and would probably get along really well if it wasn't for all the childish ranking and rating.

I don't think this is some objective fact about the world - I don't think there are 'leagues' that people slot into. It just happens sometimes when people are being superficial. That doesn't mean that if you got rid of all the bull****, everyone would suddenly fancy you. It doesn't mean that if someone doesn't fancy you/give you a chance, they're being snobby or cliquey. Don't get an entitlement complex




This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Redolent)
"League" is a bad way of thinking (not to mention unhealthy) because it implies the world of relationships is governed by some sort of objective group of factors, which it isn't. The kinds of people a person will go for is subjective to them, so it's a matter of taste rather than league.

Seriously I can hardly express enough how unhealthy it is to convince yourself you're beneath people you barely know, just because they're conventionally attractive or something

How do you stop doing this? I tend to do this a lot especially with the vast majority of women.

Needless to say i feel like **** almost every time I'm surrounded by women.

[Lucia.]

No one knows how they look to other people...so if you don't feel attractive, just smile and flaunt what you've got. Someone will love it. Leagues exist but I don't think they're absolute. I mean if I find someone attractive enough to make out with (not necessarily hot) then their personality can bring them up for me to want to date them. I have faith that many think think along similar lines. No one looks perfect.

[I have a question]

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
There are leagues in life, anyone who tells you otherwise is an idealist and not to be taken seriously; that said, there are ways and means of gaining 'promotion'/getting 'relegated' in most contexts

This.