[Redolent]

(Original post by Anonymous)
How do you stop doing this? I tend to do this a lot especially with the vast majority of women.

Needless to say i feel like **** almost every time I'm surrounded by women.

Honestly I'd class myself as being on the lower end of the self-esteem spectrum so I can't really help you too much there

But what I have found more recently, and especially when I'm drunk, is that if a woman acts likes she's better than me just because she sees herself as more attractive or whatever, my feelings of dejection are generally outweighed by feelings of "wow, she doesn't even know me, what a b*tch" and that makes it a lot easier to laugh it off and get on with my life. I have literally laughed at these kinds of people and just walked away in the past. I suppose to some people it might look like bitterness but I would just call it self-respect, I always know deep down I don't have anything to prove to people who are that shallow. They're not better than me, not even close.

That attitude has been very helpful so far. You don't have to think you're hot sh*t (I certainly don't) to be happy in the knowledge you're not as pathetically superficial as these people who consider themselves out of your league before they've even got to know you.

[sassy123]

Most normal looking girls i know seem to be the most stuck-up.I would say i am decent looking and if i don't like someone i try to be polite as i can unless they come across and just demand to talk to me or touch me up then i go mad.

Do i belive in leagues? No howver some people do deserve better but its not always looks wise more about how the ther person gets treated.

[sweeter than a cherry pie]

Well, I believe in the "dating leagues" only to the extent that some people are definitely more physically attractive than others.

[Ben_LiveYourDreams]

My instance response would be that there are no leagues. Anyone can be attracted to anyone.

Individually people will have types of people that they attract, or are attracted to. What I mean here is that an individual may define a league based system, where they compare themselves to others, and believe that x is out of their league. This can subconsciously effect who you attract, because if you believe that you will have no chance at attracting a person, then you will have less chance of attracting that person.

If you give yourself 'high standards', and believe no one is out of your league, you will be able to date people that others percieve are 'out of your league'.

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
There are leagues in life, anyone who tells you otherwise is an idealist and not to be taken seriously; that said, there are ways and means of gaining 'promotion'/getting 'relegated' in most contexts

I think people percieve there are leagues, and this can hinder people, because they do not feel they can escape their league, or it can empower people, because it gives them something to strive towards.

Personally, I would not say any girl in the world is 'out of my league'. Sure an individual might not be attracted to me, but I don't know unless I ask.

[Schmucks]

According to my friends i've always either done 'better' or 'worse' in terms of looks, not someone they'd think 'yeah, they're about right for each other'. I feel the same about a lot of my friends, too.

So no, I don't believe in a 'league' type deal.

[Millie228]

Yes, leagues exist but they shouldn't be taken too seriously.

People have different taste, but they are similar enough to know what to strive for. When women take care of themselves or when men work out or try to improve their personality, there are certain things you work towards, because you believe there are things to achieve which improves your chances with the majority of the opposite sex. Otherwise you wouldn't practice any form of self improvement, ever.
Not all women look for men with high social status or successful careers, but having those things will practically never be a minus to a woman, which means being ambitious with education and work will be a plus. Being in good shape will be a plus. Having a sense of humor and the confidence to express it, will be a plus. People emphasize different assets and skills differently, but there is a reasonable concencus on what are positive and negative qualities.
Same goes for appearance. You may find a girl a 10, and your mate thinks she's an 8. But it is unlikely that any of our friends will find her a 2. So although opinions vary, there are reasonable measurements for attractiveness. If you have a high rate of all the positive ones, you're in a high league and vice versa.

[Flyingaround]

(Original post by #JayJay)
e.g. "she's way out of my league, I can't go out with her"

I mentioned this to a few of my mates and they laughed it off, saying that it's a playground school thing and that now that we're older (sixth form/university) that leagues don't apply so much

I'd have to slightly disagree. I still think that leagues exist as i'm always attracted to people that I can't pull -_- it's my one curse when it comes to attraction haha

No! I think it's a disgusting thing. Some Page 3 "The Sun" Reader Chav said it to me once because I wouldn't swap lunches with him because I liked chatting with my middle eastern half british friend, I loved talking to her and she always talked to me...he didnt even know me properly and said she's out of my league while he was annoyed that i wouldn't swap with him.

It really stuck with me that comment, it's like how dare he decide, when she hasn't even decided.

If you get on with someone, then you get on with someone.

[Flyingaround]

(Original post by forgetamine)
No I don't believe in leagues, it's just bull****.

I agree with you, it should just be based on whether you and a person have been through something together, or something...it shouldn't have to be a written rule that you're not allowed to speak to such and such a person.

[Ortegas]

On the look department only, I find most people just confuse this: When you see a very hot girl going with a normal looking, if not even a bit nerdy, you may say: He is out of her league. But you forget that the girl may just find his look attractive enough, and then perhaps he gives her some kind of strange emotions, or push her buttons, and she likes him. She doesn't compare his LOOK to her LOOK, and then decide whether his look is much lower than hers, so she won't date her.

But if she is finding a sexual partner, purely sex, and nothing else, she may want to look for a 6 packs dude, or a rich George Clooney to spend time with.

However, if we are talking about social status, then it's true that there are "leagues". Women generally care a lot about status. So if you happen to stumble into a very upscale bar, and you don't have a doctor degree, chances for hooking up with one of those high heeled girls will be relatively small.

And there comes also the issue with identity. You may find people who come from the same background, the same personalities, or quite the same hobbies might be drawn closer to one another. So knowing yourself will help you to choose the right person, both short term and long term

[DontBeJelBeReem]

I feel that leagues is a bad way to put it, although i've used it before. It's more to do with the fact that a 10/10 girl can have the pick of most boys, so you end up thinking, why me?

Most of the time, i find that its not looks, but CONFIDENCE. Go and alpha that **** bro.

[tehFrance]

If theres a league, I am top of it

Although in all seriousness, I don't say someone is out of my league in the way she is too hot for me.

[Glow in the dark]

I believe in league's yes, but I don't apply it when I go for a girl I want, I'll go for anyone no matter how hot she is. Just judge whether I want the girl / whether I would be compatible with her as to how she carrys herself and her personality. You'll just know whether a someone is in your league / on your wavelength as I like to put it.

[#JayJay]

(Original post by DontBeJelBeReem)
t's more to do with the fact that a 10/10 girl can have the pick of most boys, so you end up thinking, why me?

I think like that as well

[darkxangel]

(Original post by tehFrance)
If theres a league, I am top of it

Although in all seriousness, I don't say someone is out of my league in the way she is too hot for me.

so you are a 9-10, interesting....

[DontBeJelBeReem]

(Original post by #JayJay)
I think like that as well

It's weird. I guess it's just a confidence thing, you can get over it soon enough, i sort of have. Especially after seeing some ugly ugly guys with hot girls.

[PinkMobilePhone]

No I don't believe in leagues

[MancBoy]

There are leagues. People usually aim for partners of equal/better attractiveness.

[#JayJay]

(Original post by DontBeJelBeReem)
It's weird. I guess it's just a confidence thing, you can get over it soon enough, i sort of have. Especially after seeing some ugly ugly guys with hot girls.

how did you get over it?

[RedDevilThing]

The way I see it, is there are people who are 'right' for each other (mutual attraction, compatible personalities, etc.) and people who are not 'right' for each other. If someone doesn't make an effort with someone else purely because they think they are too attractive for them, then I find that a bit dumb, especially since attractiveness is completely subjective.

[DontBeJelBeReem]

(Original post by #JayJay)
how did you get over it?

I joined a gym, felt a lot better about myself. I changed the way people view me, im not that skinny insecure unconfident kid i used to be. I feel so much better about myself and its great. Now there is no league