[Anonymous]

I have a perceived "shortcoming" relative to my body image and how others see me. Because of it, I am beginning to hate myself over it.

Whilst I don't allow it to affect my operability and interaction with people, it is stuck on a much more intimate level, and I only let the pain affect me when I am alone, especially at night before I go to sleep.

People telling me that there's nothing to be ashamed of, or that I'm fine, or be confident isn't helping at all. It's screwing with my mind and I can't do anything about it.

People see me as a fun, outgoing, confident and funny person, they even say that they don't see anyone with as much determination as I have, but when alone I feel like crap. How can I stop hating myself?

[flibdoo]

What do you think would stop you hating yourself? Is there anything that could happen to make things better?

[redpanda41]

It's our flaws that make us human. Most people have something about themselves that they hate, I do too, but fretting about it doesn't achieve anything. It's a waste of your energy. Sometimes you just have to accept what you have and that it's not going to change.

Oh and I know what it's like to really, really hate an aspect of your appearance. So much so that I've considered plastic surgery. Even though everyone says my flaw is not noticeable, I know it is! But I've sort of realised that there are better things to think about. How many of your idols are physically perfect? Would you rather be a vapid, beautiful person with no intelligence or insight, or someone much more average looking with a real chance to make an impact on others and achieve something lasting. You say your friends see you as fun and outgoing... lots of people would kill to have a personality like that! I know I would, being rather shy. Try and focus on what you do have going for, rather than what you haven't, and you might see that things aren't quite so bad after all.

Hope this helps.

[im so academic]

(Original post by redpanda41)
It's our flaws that make us human. Most people have something about themselves that they hate, I do too, but fretting about it doesn't achieve anything. It's a waste of your energy. Sometimes you just have to accept what you have and that it's not going to change.

Oh and I know what it's like to really, really hate an aspect of your appearance. So much so that I've considered plastic surgery. Even though everyone says my flaw is not noticeable, I know it is! But I've sort of realised that there are better things to think about. How many of your idols are physically perfect? Would you rather be a vapid, beautiful person with no intelligence or insight, or someone much more average looking with a real chance to make an impact on others and achieve something lasting. You say your friends see you as fun and outgoing... lots of people would kill to have a personality like that! I know I would, being rather shy. Try and focus on what you do have going for, rather than what you haven't, and you might see that things aren't quite so bad after all.

Hope this helps.

There are people who are both.

[redpanda41]

(Original post by im so academic)
There are people who are both.

Yes I know, I'm just saying that personality is more important than appearance. Few people have both to a great degree.

[edd360]

Yeah you ain't alone buddy. But other people can only love you as much as you love yourself. Try spending less time alone? There are plenty of drugs out there which a doctor might prescribe you, but I personally would recommend a spliff or 2 each night you feel like this

[jodrummer]

Whenever I feel like I hate myself I write a long letter to myself explaining how I feel and what I'd rather be doing etc. It works for me because it's like expelling all the bad vibes, but others may feel it's wallowing in the feelings too much. Experiment! Other people I know like going for a run or doing something constructive that they can be proud of. You're not alone...I bet every single other person on this planet has felt like you do, they just don't let it show. Hope you feel happier soon.

[im so academic]

(Original post by redpanda41)
Yes I know, I'm just saying that personality is more important than appearance. Few people have both to a great degree.

You'd be surprised. Many people have both to a high degree.

[hogwartian1993]

Try and find a solution in exercise or a hobby - don't do what I did and become reliant on anti-depressants

[Anonymous]

Hi,

Part of my problem right now is that my self-worth in degrading and I'm self-deprecating. The other problem is that I'm very, very good at hiding this, and I don't like asking for help. Worse, I can't get professional help that would go on record due to my career choice having a stringent view on the matter of mental health. I feel like I have a split personality - when I'm with people, I'm fun etc, I don't even think about it, yester every single night when I go to sleep, I cry about it. I feel worthless.

I've considered surgery to benefit (or provide an increase) which could potentially alleviate only a small part towards the problem, but I have decided that the pain of bones growing back together and other issues would not provide any benefit in the long term and could be devastating to my chosen career path.

Recently, I was able to go the gym and lose some weight (not the issue), and build some muscle, but although it sort of has increase my mood, the degredation has gone deeper.

[Dizzycop]

Hi, I think I know how you feel. I come accross as a confident, fun and outgoing person when I'm with my friends and family. Recently though I've become really unhappy with my body, to the point where it feels like it's consuming everything. I don't think anyone would ever really know this though unless I told them because I don't show it. I feel so frustrated because I feel like such a cliche, just another teenage girl who's obsessed with the way she looks and I wish I didn't feel like this because it just seems so negative and attention seeking but I don't seem to be able to control it. I kind of began to run out of patience a little with people like this a few years ago because I saw so many of my friends go through silly weightloss phases but I never had to worry about my figure as I've grown up doing a lot of sport and being very toned/having high metabolism. I'm only a bit less toned than a couple of years ago but I'm not used to being like this and although other people would tell me they'd love to have my figure, it can't change how I feel about myself, it seems like such a big deal to me. It probably sounds ridiculous and I hate how shallow this post probably seems, especailly considering I've never been like this before and got through puberty etc without conforming to any of these kinds of pressures. But it's like it's uncontrollable, it makes me so unhappy sometimes, I just hate myself and similarly it's not until I go to bed that I allow myself to cry/let my feelings out. It feels so lonely sometimes as I don't feel like I can talk about it Every other aspect of my life is great, I have little to complain about and I'm otherwise very happy but this just seems to smother things a bit :/ The only way out I can see is to get thin until I'm happy, despite how dangerous and paradoxical a solution that sounds.

Thanks for reading.