[Anonymous]

So, since I've been back from Uni for Summer I've noticed that I've started to grow apart from my two best friends. For the first few weeks I was back everything was was just like when I had come home for Christmas/Easter etc, meaning it hadn't really felt like I had moved away at all. However, now that I've been back for around two months things are a lot different. When I spend time with them now, which is a lot less due to lack of money, the conversation runs dry very quickly unless we're talking about things that happened last summer or while we were all in school together. I've also noticed that their attitude towards me has changed somewhat, for example, when the issue of money is raised one of them has started to make digs about the fact that I receive student finance during the year and has responded bitterly whenever I manage to get myself a job interview. Has anyone else experienced this? I feel really conflicted, on one hand they're two of my best friends and on the other I don't feel like there's much of a friendship anymore. Anyone have any advice on this?

[harekrishna]

It's best to move along and continue on with your life. There is no possible advice when it comes to matters like these. I mean you walk alongside yourself ultimately and are only in control of your own convictions and beliefs. Whatever someone else feels or thinks about you should be secondary. It's best not to dwell on such matters and take relationships so seriously. Sorry for sounding so curt, but there's no other way of explaining it. I hope you understand.

[twelve]

I suppose the only thing I can suggest is trying to properly catch up - let them know what you've been doing at university, and try and keep in contact during term time, so the conversation doesn't run dry so quickly. If you did do that, then I don't know - sometimes you will just grow apart and there's not a lot you can do about it. Its sad, but its just the way things go :/ You can't be friends forever!

[harekrishna]

Why don't you change your name and identity that seems to do the trick when people think their so well, I must say, avant garde.

[123maz]

Well firstly they dont sound like they are your friends -

being provided student finance is nothing to be ashamed off, you speak to them about how they are being towards you or decide to leave the friendsip,

things are bound to change after university but if they were truly your friends things would be the same, better even as now you have more stories to sway with each other and catch up

[Charzhino]

Friends come and go. The person who you consider your best friend now could be a total stranger next year. Dont get too attached.

[panda1093]

I see what you mean, I experienced something like that with my best friend...
Probably you should try to talk with them, you could explain how you feel about it.
I couldn't do it honestly, I just pretended that nothing had changed. Things got worse and we didn't see each other for a while but now we're hanging out together again and things seem to be ok!

[Safiya122]

Ive been in a similar situation where I was so close to my best friend during the end of summer holidays and when I came back in year 10, we hardly spoke.
I'd say just talk to them, find out what's up. Confront to them about how you feel that you're not all as close as you were, then go do something fun with each other, like watch a movie with one of your favourite actors, by the end of it you'll have something to talk about

But then again, that probably won't last long.

[hippieglitter]

(Original post by Anonymous)
So, since I've been back from Uni for Summer I've noticed that I've started to grow apart from my two best friends. For the first few weeks I was back everything was was just like when I had come home for Christmas/Easter etc, meaning it hadn't really felt like I had moved away at all. However, now that I've been back for around two months things are a lot different. When I spend time with them now, which is a lot less due to lack of money, the conversation runs dry very quickly unless we're talking about things that happened last summer or while we were all in school together. I've also noticed that their attitude towards me has changed somewhat, for example, when the issue of money is raised one of them has started to make digs about the fact that I receive student finance during the year and has responded bitterly whenever I manage to get myself a job interview. Has anyone else experienced this? I feel really conflicted, on one hand they're two of my best friends and on the other I don't feel like there's much of a friendship anymore. Anyone have any advice on this?

These things happen. You move on, grow up and they begin to resent all the things you are doing better than them. When I left for uni I had a lot of friends back home, now I have maybe one or two that I still feel close enough to talk to and even they are not as close as we used to be. I would try and make the effort to talk over msn or text and invite them out when I was home but they were never interested enough. Eventually I just decided that they thought i'd outgrown them and they didn't want to be my friend anymore, its their loss. Friendships don't always happen like they do in the movies, bar the two I mentioned I don't have any friends that I met before uni anymore, the ones from uni are my real friends.