[miniteen]

Dear all,
I've been rereading some of my work from a long long time ago, and I just thought I'd share.
These are poems that I wrote for my English Literature class when I was 17. I know that they are extremely heavy, not only because of the language used but also because of the amount of quotes they contain (because this was for a book project, there are quotes from Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, from Doctor Faustus by Christopher Marlowe, from Dante's Inferno I believe, and from A Descent into the Maelstrom by Edgar Allan Poe.) It is also heavily influenced by Greek and Latin mythology.
Care to tell me what you think? I can help you understand them if you have trouble. I just showed them to a friend and he really liked them.

I. The Journey

The soul embarks Infernal Voyage, I
Invite you to join Man's best Odyssee.
Engage yourself with true alacrity:
In God-Forsaken Wilderness you'll fly

Through me you enter into the city
Of woes, eternal pain, for'ver lost souls;
Charon navigates through the Styx's Shoals,
Humanity's depths of despondency.

We launch our quest in the Heart of Darkness,
Sane men faced with an outbreak of madness.
Fear not shadows of disease: in sum,

We are but imposters in Erebus.
As the soil shudders; to the Earth kick'd loose
Cling tight lest you fall into the Maelström.

II. Hollow men

Observe within the whited sepulcher
Those whose delusions be mournful, senseless
Phantoms strolling aimlessly in endless
Jocose dreams of that eternal slumber.

The uniform sombreness of the coast
Remains an enigma. Reality
Fades. Inner Truth is hidden - luckily,
Luckily! The Darkness is at its most.

Strip Truth of its cloak of time, Absurd be
Exploded! Peep over the edge and see
Some sickness of Evil pervades the Heart.

Strength needs not nursing: Imagination
Though needs soothing. Women's illusion
Will provide to tear Truth and facts apart.

III. Homo Fuge!

Remember now, we live in the flicker.
And what art you and I but men condemned
To die? The fatal time draws to an end.
'Tis our preconditioned ordeal, dear sir.

The Moirai continue to spin,
Shortening our days and thread of life.
Between good and evil we keep at strife
But 'tis already chosen who will win.

Ebbing out our hearts into the sea
Of inexorable time. Destiny.
O lente currite noctis equi!

We have like travell'd to the beginnings
Of time, but limited still are our wings.
Ave! Te salutant morituri!

IV. The Bargain
He who, with pride, aspires to live in all
Voluptuousness, with gluttony feasts on
Pomegranate seeds: the Fascination
Of Abomination beguiles the fall.

Then, 'tis Mephistophilis who attends
To Ravish by magic the lost psyche.
Through subterfuge, books of necromancy
Bounds of perm'tted asp'rations He transcends

You hear the prodigious peals of laughter?
Lucifer enlarged his kingdom further:
Destruction of man in the Life to come.

Between the essence and descent, befalls
The Shadow: "Horror!" glimpsed truth appalls
Hardened-heart in'th precipice's bottom.

[the bear]

Splendid odes... really grown-up stuff

The TSR Ode-ometer broke under the pressure

[miniteen]

(Original post by the bear)
Splendid odes... really grown-up stuff

The TSR Ode-ometer broke under the pressure

Thank you, it means a lot to me.
I haven't written in quite a while, but I've decided to take it up again. I'll be posting another poem I wrote back in the day, I'd love it if you could read that one too and give me your feedback.

[the bear]

(Original post by miniteen)
Thank you, it means a lot to me.
I haven't written in quite a while, but I've decided to take it up again. I'll be posting another poem I wrote back in the day, I'd love it if you could read that one too and give me your feedback.

I would be hounoured

Perhaps you would like to cast an eye over my poor offerings:

http://longspoon.blogspot.com ?

[miniteen]

(Original post by the bear)
I would be hounoured

Perhaps you would like to cast an eye over my poor offerings:

http://longspoon.blogspot.com ?

I took a quick look but I'll have more time later. Am at work currently. But from a first glance it looks like you write quite free-style poetry. I might be wrong though.

I also just wanted to make sure you understood some aspects of these poems. Because they're so heavy, two of my friends needed help in understanding them. Especially the "Hollow Men" one.
Did you notice since the first poem is about embarking on a voyage to the underworld, the poems are supposed to take place on a boat? It's a crew kind of like Heart of Darkness itself. That's why as they're getting closer to the underworld, the kingdom of dead souls, they start to see dead souls. Thus explaining the:

"Observe within the whited sepulcher
Those whose delusions be mournful, senseless
Phantoms strolling aimlessly in endless
Jocose dreams of that eternal slumber."

But it is also an indication on who the reader is dealing with him/herself: these are men who have sold their souls in exchange of knowledge of the beyond. As explained in the last poem, they have made a pact with the devil. Thus they are dead themselves (inside.) This is explained in the last stanza:

"Strength needs not nursing: Imagination
Though needs soothing. Women's illusion
Will provide to tear Truth and facts apart."

It's the inside, the imagination that needs to be taken care of. Their bodies however are intact. These are hollow men. Women on the other hand have always been objects of beauty, who take men away into realms of Fantasy, hiding but at the same time revealing Truth. By hiding the Truth and taking it away, if you look at what's missing you suddenly know what is Truth.
The two stanzas in the middle are about my understanding of Truth:

The uniform sombreness of the coast
Remains an enigma. Reality
Fades. Inner Truth is hidden - luckily,
Luckily! The Darkness is at its most.

So since they are on a boat, they are moving. But the boat moving is not only an indication of movement but also of time passing by. As they look at the coast, it stays uniform throughout space and time. In fact, this means that Truth is forever the same, no matter where you go, no matter when you're looking for it. Truth is the essence of the World, and it is the same today as it was 10,000 years ago. And Truth is hidden by the little facts of life, the decorations of Reality (understand by Reality what Stanley Kowalski means by it in Streetcar named Desire, and Truth what Blanche Dubois means by it.) But as they get closer to it, Reality, the little facts of life, start to fade and they will eventually be faced with the Ugliness of Truth. So the in-between is "Darkness at its most."

Strip Truth of its cloak of time, Absurd be
Exploded! Peep over the edge and see
Some sickness of Evil pervades the Heart.

Now this part once again talks about how Truth is forever the same, and that Time is just a cover for it (since it's only a cloak, and you can strip it off the Truth.) The Truth is also so complex that it destroys all Absurdity and makes the impossible possible. The last bit of this stanza says what Truth is for me "Some sickness of Evil pervades the Heart." Truth is in Mankind, at its core, and it is like a gangrene of Ugliness slowly eating away the Heart.

I believe that to fully appreciate a poem, you have to make sure you understand all the subtleties of it. I love making poems that require time to analyze (and to write!)
I've explained Hollow Men, but have you understood why "pomegranate seeds"?
And these two stanzas from Homo Fuge:

Ebbing out our hearts into the sea
Of inexorable time. Destiny.
O lente currite noctis equi!

We have like travell'd to the beginnings
Of time, but limited still are our wings.
Ave! Te salutant morituri!

Do you see that the "O lente currite noctis equi!" is referring to the horses that pull the chariot of the Greek God Helios? In this way, the day would be longer? It is a line from Doctor Faustus, who in his last hour of life says it because he is scared of his meeting with Lucifer.
Also, what do you understand by "We have like travell'd to the beginnings/Of time, but limited still are our wings"?

I'll just add:

Between the essence and descent, befalls
The Shadow: "Horror!" glimpsed truth appalls
Hardened-heart in'th precipice's bottom.

This is the part where the ship's crew finally see the Truth, but why do you think it is "Between the essence and descent"?

[Tycho]

I'm amazed that someone so young can write with such maturity. These are excellent works.

I hope they earned you an A!