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Feeling extremely vulnerable and need some advice.

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Post on TSR and win a prize! Find out more... 10-04-2014
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    Anon or delete.

    Background to this issue: I used to be 55 kg at 5'6 a few years back. I was really skinny. Then I gained weight- lost some- gained some. My highest weight was a few months back (4 months) where I was 75 kg at 5'7.5. I am now actively loosing weight. So far I am 5.5kg down.

    My highest weight was because of hypothyroidism, where I gained from 65-66kg to 75 in roughly 3 months. I started the meds and am eating less to loose that weight. I have had this condition since I was diagnosed at 7 and have been having oral meds ever since. In May I did my blood work and they realised my body was not reacting to the medication any longer and changed it. My feet aren't swollen and my hands are not perpetually cold now.

    To put it into perspective, when I was in London at (75kg) I was wearing size 14 clothing. At 65-66kg I was wearing a size 10-12.

    The issue:

    I was look at shoes on eBay, and wanted my mother's opinion on a pair. She said they we ugly and not dainty- I said that the shoes were nice and my style. She then stated that I wasn't dainty and compared me to a friend she's only seen on Facebook and said that all the guys are only after a person with a 'thin sexy body' and that I was a 'fat pig' who guys wouldn't approach. I pointed out the fact that I still went on dates ect at my higher weight and then she started mocking me by stating that I could only get a guy who was severely obese (which is completely wrong).

    Needless to say, I am feeling ridiculously vulnerable because she always comments on my weight and is a complete female dog about it. It's rather disheartening for a mother to say that.

    I live with my mom only during the summer as I'm usually in a different continent studying.

    Have you guys ever been in a situation like that? or Can you advice me on this issue?
    • Thread Starter
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    Guys, some advice would be nice Please?
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    Just ignore her. Its the best way to deal with this sort of thing! And I am a size 8/12. Your not fat and guys don't just want skinny girls. Keep in there and just stay strong because you are beautiful as you are!
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    Just ignore her, concentrate on yourself and if you want the shoes buy them If she mentions anything again just try to forget about it and tht your not going to be living with her soon enough!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete.

    Background to this issue: I used to be 55 kg at 5'6 a few years back. I was really skinny. Then I gained weight- lost some- gained some. My highest weight was a few months back (4 months) where I was 75 kg at 5'7.5. I am now actively loosing weight. So far I am 5.5kg down.

    My highest weight was because of hypothyroidism, where I gained from 65-66kg to 75 in roughly 3 months. I started the meds and am eating less to loose that weight. I have had this condition since I was diagnosed at 7 and have been having oral meds ever since. In May I did my blood work and they realised my body was not reacting to the medication any longer and changed it. My feet aren't swollen and my hands are not perpetually cold now.

    To put it into perspective, when I was in London at (75kg) I was wearing size 14 clothing. At 65-66kg I was wearing a size 10-12.

    The issue:

    I was look at shoes on eBay, and wanted my mother's opinion on a pair. She said they we ugly and not dainty- I said that the shoes were nice and my style. She then stated that I wasn't dainty and compared me to a friend she's only seen on Facebook and said that all the guys are only after a person with a 'thin sexy body' and that I was a 'fat pig' who guys wouldn't approach. I pointed out the fact that I still went on dates ect at my higher weight and then she started mocking me by stating that I could only get a guy who was severely obese (which is completely wrong).

    Needless to say, I am feeling ridiculously vulnerable because she always comments on my weight and is a complete female dog about it. It's rather disheartening for a mother to say that.

    I live with my mom only during the summer as I'm usually in a different continent studying.

    Have you guys ever been in a situation like that? or Can you advice me on this issue?
    Just ignore it and carry on with life. In life many people will say many things to you that will hurt you but you've just got to pick yourself up and be oblivious to it. And that's not true about all the skinny girls about getting the guys, ultimately the guy that will stick by your side will be the one who isn't just interested in a girl physically but also for her personality and heart. And if you know that what your mother said about the guys only wanting skinny girls isn't true because you've dated guys before then you've already proven her wrong. Just believe in yourself and continue living your life, happy. Don't let what others day turn you into a bitter recluse with a rotten heart.
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    chubby/curvy > skinny/rakish, just sayin.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by cakefreak)
    Just ignore it and carry on with life. In life many people will say many things to you that will hurt you but you've just got to pick yourself up and be oblivious to it. And that's not true about all the skinny girls about getting the guys, ultimately the guy that will stick by your side will be the one who isn't just interested in a girl physically but also for her personality and heart. And if you know that what your mother said about the guys only wanting skinny girls isn't true because you've dated guys before then you've already proven her wrong. Just believe in yourself and continue living your life, happy. Don't let what others day turn you into a bitter recluse with a rotten heart.

    (Original post by Coffeegirl)
    Just ignore her. Its the best way to deal with this sort of thing! And I am a size 8/12. Your not fat and guys don't just want skinny girls. Keep in there and just stay strong because you are beautiful as you are!

    (Original post by SnoochToTheBooch)
    chubby/curvy > skinny/rakish, just sayin.

    (Original post by beth-93x)
    Just ignore her, concentrate on yourself and if you want the shoes buy them If she mentions anything again just try to forget about it and tht your not going to be living with her soon enough!

    Thank you guys- it's just beyond frustrating to have a mother who talks ****.
    I know I'm attractive, but I guess to each their own.

    Just can't wait to get back to uni!
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    Your mum sounds like what mine used to be like.

    Is there any way to stay at uni during holidays too, or is it too expensive?
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by flown_muse)
    Your mum sounds like what mine used to be like.

    Is there any way to stay at uni during holidays too, or is it too expensive?
    Actually, I live about 15 hrs by plane away from England. My family here want me to come 'home' as often as possible, but I usually come once a year.
    I guess one way to avoid this is by finding internships/jobs in the UK as this year I found one at home. Needless to say it has been my one saving grace as it does keep me occupied.

    What did your mum do? How did you deal with it?
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    Churchill once said - I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

    Same can be said for you. You might have some weight on you, but you can work it off. Your mother however will still be a judgemental cow even when you do.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by mikeyd85)
    Churchill once said - I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

    Same can be said for you. You might have some weight on you, but you can work it off. Your mother however will still be a judgemental cow even when you do.
    I have been working it off- no thanks to hypothyroid

    True, she only stopped complaining when I was 55 kg when I was younger (with a unhealthy relationship with food- think severe restricting). When I was 60 kg, she called me 'hefty' and 'obese'. That was at a 21 BMI. WTF!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Actually, I live about 15 hrs by plane away from England. My family here want me to come 'home' as often as possible, but I usually come once a year.
    I guess one way to avoid this is by finding internships/jobs in the UK as this year I found one at home. Needless to say it has been my one saving grace as it does keep me occupied.

    What did your mum do? How did you deal with it?
    Yeah, internships, saying you are busy seeing all your friends while you're home, staying with other family to 'catch up' or jobs in UK or other country.

    She used to take me to the doctors every few months and get them to tell me I was going to die horrible deaths, made me go swimming 5 days a week etc. She chucked me out at 17 and I live with my fiance now.

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Updated: July 23, 2012
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