[Arekkusu]

I'd be very surprised if that's the whole truth, though if he is an exceptional student the uni won't want him to crash and burn for a stupid reason like that and may bend the rules.

Incidentally, psychology says a break-up instigates the grieving process so really it's just as bad as if someone died, at least for a while.

[I love shopping]

(Original post by Arekkusu)
I'd be very surprised if that's the whole truth, though if he is an exceptional student the uni won't want him to crash and burn for a stupid reason like that and may bend the rules.

True. Maybe there is something he's not telling us.

[lilahnurave]

(Original post by I love shopping)
Of course it affected me. But what was I supposed to do? Pull out of my exams? I tried doing the best I could do under the circumstances.

Like I said before, why would I be jealous? I do a different course at a different uni.

It sounds like you're annoyed that in the same situation you were treated differently. The guy I was seeing (for all intents and purposes my boyfriend) broke up with me after an 4 intense months, 2 days before my first exam, and it broke me a bit. Although if the offer of extra time had been there I probably would'nt have taken it, because I wouldnt want him to know how upset I was. But the situation certainly didnt help my results, as the went from in the 50s for the first exam, to high 70s in the last

[I love shopping]

(Original post by lilahnurave)
It sounds like you're annoyed that in the same situation you were treated differently.

I didn't ask for leniency when I went through a break up because I didn't think it was a good enough reason. So for the last time, I'm not jealous / angry/ annoyed or upset.

(Original post by lilahnurave)
The guy I was seeing (for all intents and purposes my boyfriend) broke up with me after an 4 intense months, 2 days before my first exam, and it broke me a bit. Although if the offer of extra time had been there I probably would'nt have taken it, because I wouldnt want him to know how upset I was. But the situation certainly didnt help my results, as the went from in the 50s for the first exam, to high 70s in the last

I'm sorry to hear that. It was very harsh of him to break up with you so close to your exams. Do you think extra time in the exam would have helped?

[lilahnurave]

(Original post by I love shopping)

I'm sorry to hear that. It was very harsh of him to break up with you so close to your exams. Do you think extra time in the exam would have helped?

No, I think only extra time before the exam, to get my thoughts together and focus on revision, would have helped, and obviously thats unlikely to happen

[kaypc]

i agree, it's silly. when im upset, i throw myself in work and i think extensions should only be given in extreme cases like bereavement.

[SoMature]

This is ridiculous.
As a person from the real world, I can assure you that plenty of people in work get time off when they suffer relationship breakdown.
I personally think that we should be quite glad, when a university show they have a human side and take into account a person's ability to perform at the same level of their peers, not upset or bitter sounding. If your university doesn't see things the same way, instead of pointing the absurdity in other institutions, maybe you could question your own.

[Theoneoranro]

(Original post by moonietoot)
Being person A's friend doesn't necessarily mean you have to support everything they do.

If she was a real friend, she would be happy for him not jealous. True friends always want the best for you and always back you up.

[moonietoot]

(Original post by Theoneoranro)
If she was a real friend, she would be happy for him not jealous. True friends always want the best for you and always back you up.

You're saying she's jealous. You don't know that she is. True friends don't let you fall into the deep end if you can't swim.

If I was doing something wrong lets say, or taking advantage of something for example, I wouldn't want my 'true' friend to sit back and do nothing. I'd wanna be told, "hey, moonie, you're being a little ****. Quit it."

But in saying that, I don't know what the friend's situation was with his relationship so I can't make a comment on it.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[I love shopping]

(Original post by Theoneoranro)
If she was a real friend, she would be happy for him not jealous. True friends always want the best for you and always back you up.

Can you not read? How many times am I going to have to explain that I'm not jealous? I've finished my degree and have done quite well. Why would I be upset about someone getting extra time on their coursework at a different uni on a different course??

Yes, true friends do want the best for you. But that doesn't mean I have to completely agree to everything they say or do. I'm allowed to have my own opinion, and I'm not afraid of telling them to man up if I need to.

[Clare~Bear]

Somebodies never had their heart broken afetr a long term relationship then.

Although a 3 week extension does seem a bit long.

[Bobo1234]

Hell I've missed a class or two because of sporting commitments (admittedly not tutorials which required essays to be submitted, but still), I think the uni's decision sounds pretty reasonable tbh, it's not like he didn't have to do the work, he just got an extension, you're blowing the whole thing out of proportion.

[I love shopping]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
Somebodies never had their heart broken afetr a long term relationship then.

Although a 3 week extension does seem a bit long.

Or maybe somebody just knows how to pull themselves together after a setback?

[I love shopping]

(Original post by SoMature)
This is ridiculous.
As a person from the real world, I can assure you that plenty of people in work get time off when they suffer relationship breakdown.
I personally think that we should be quite glad, when a university show they have a human side and take into account a person's ability to perform at the same level of their peers, not upset or bitter sounding. If your university doesn't see things the same way, instead of pointing the absurdity in other institutions, maybe you could question your own.

I don't know what kind of 'real world' you come from, but from what I've experienced, the world is a very competitive, harsh place. Real jobs come with responsibilities. Sometimes, you can't just back out whenever you feel like it, not when your employer relies on you to work on strict deadlines because your work could cause a massive delay in a major project.

What if you had an important meeting or presentation coming up that could make or break your chances of getting that promotion you've always wanted? Would you just let hours and hours of hard work go to waste, or would you pull yourself together and do the best you can?

People need to learn to be more in control of their emotions so they're prepared for this kind of thing. Mollycoddling people at university really isn't going to help them prepare for the real world.

[TenOfThem]

(Original post by I love shopping)
I don't know what kind of 'real world' you come from, but from what I've experienced, the world is a very competitive, harsh place. Real jobs come with responsibilities. Sometimes, you can't just back out whenever you feel like it, not when your employer relies on you to work on strict deadlines because your work could cause a massive delay in a major project.

What if you had an important meeting or presentation coming up that could make or break your chances of getting that promotion you've always wanted? Would you just let hours and hours of hard work go to waste, or would you pull yourself together and do the best you can?

People need to learn to be more in control of their emotions so they're prepared for this kind of thing. Mollycoddling people at university really isn't going to help them prepare for the real world.

That poster probably comes from the same "real world" that I live in ... one where we work for a living and have experience of the work place

There may be some situations where it is not possible to have a sensible extension (your exams is an example and an important presentation might be another) but most of what goes on in most work places can be put off a day/a week/a month without any issue ... the coursework deadline was clearly not a big issue

[dj1015]

The people in question are just weak students and should have been punished for not getting it done sooner.

[kka25]

(Original post by I love shopping)
Of course it affected me. But what was I supposed to do? Pull out of my exams? I tried doing the best I could do under the circumstances.

Like I said before, why would I be jealous? I do a different course at a different uni.

So? Not everyone is like you isn't it? Not everyone can do their 'best' as you can't it?

(Original post by I love shopping)
Or maybe somebody just knows how to pull themselves together after a setback?

Wow, the more I read your replies, the more absurd you're actually becoming; the sheer arrogance of your replies prove that you're really not the type of person that 'real people' should be around.

(Original post by I love shopping)
I didn't ask for leniency when I went through a break up because I didn't think it was a good enough reason. So for the last time, I'm not jealous / angry/ annoyed or upset.

Owh, dear, but you are.

(Original post by I love shopping)
Can you not read? How many times am I going to have to explain that I'm not jealous? I've finished my degree and have done quite well. Why would I be upset about someone getting extra time on their coursework at a different uni on a different course??

Yes, true friends do want the best for you. But that doesn't mean I have to completely agree to everything they say or do. I'm allowed to have my own opinion, and I'm not afraid of telling them to man up if I need to.

Then, I'm going to tell you to man up and suck it up; this is life. Not everyone is the same. If you think like this, your judgement is clouded by your shallow success because you could pull it off 'once'.

(Original post by SoMature)
This is ridiculous.
As a person from the real world, I can assure you that plenty of people in work get time off when they suffer relationship breakdown.
I personally think that we should be quite glad, when a university show they have a human side and take into account a person's ability to perform at the same level of their peers, not upset or bitter sounding. If your university doesn't see things the same way, instead of pointing the absurdity in other institutions, maybe you could question your own.

Yup.

(Original post by Schmokie Dragon)
Do not underestimate the emotional upheaval caused by relationship breakdown. It can seriously **** people up for a while.

It would be up to an employer if they would give time off for such a thing, but a degree is not the same as employment in the sense that decreased performance at work can be mitigated by supportive colleagues and doesn't necessarily have a particularly acute impact. The manager/director/whoever is in charge can move people around, change work loads and help make sure everything runs fairly smoothly if someone is going through a tough time. If someone is underperforming during their degree, that can make a huge difference to one person for a very long time, not to mention potentially lead to thousands of pounds being wasted due to a short period of upheaval.

Exactly.

(Original post by Agenda Suicide)
And you didn't feel this affected you at all?

If not I question your commitment or actual care about the relationship, or maybe I can applaud your ability to be one of the very few people in this world that can be fine straight away after something like that.

Either way, if something effected you performance, and you knew it, wouldn't you try for something to?

I sense jealousy, bit of anger because you feel hard done by, but when this stuff happens, it really hurts and I can totally empathise.

So no, it's not absurd.

not only that, arrogance and very narrow minded view. No employer would be impress by her lack of humility and empathy...

[moonietoot]

I don't understand why people are assuming that 'friends' should fall under the same category of supporting everything their friends do. The person that posted this isn't saying that his/her friend is bad. It's just she/he finds it absurd that Unis are willing to extend the time to hand in work over a relationship break up issue or whatever.

I understand that there should be no exception to handing in essays as its easy to say that someone has a problem and for that reason they should also be given an extension in time. For example, if I approached the professor and said, "sir, I had a massive argument with my mum an I haven't eaten in two days and I've been under so much stress that I've not been able to finish the essay. Can you extend the time please?" I'd expect him to say yes based on the fact that the argument was psychologically damaging to myself. It may have been a traumatic event for me for which an extension is required.

Although that scenario isn't the same, the same logic applies. Though I do appreciate that a break up can really mess you up so I understand why the teacher allowed it.

I would change the term 'absurd' to 'fair'. Because the term absurd carries such negative connotations.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[I love shopping]

(Original post by kka25)
So? Not everyone is like you isn't it? Not everyone can do their 'best' as you can't it?

Erm, your point? He asked me whether it affected me or not, and I replied with how I coped. What's it got to do with anyone else? If you were in my place, would you not have tried doing your best to get a good degree?

(Original post by kka25)
Wow, the more I read your replies, the more absurd you're actually becoming; the sheer arrogance of your replies prove that you're really not the type of person that 'real people' should be around.

Again, it was a personal question about whether or not I've been a relationship that ended, and I replied about how I dealt with it. How does it show that I'm absurd or arrogant?

(Original post by kka25)
Owh, dear, but you are.

Maybe if you actually read my posts, I've mentioned several times that, firstly, I never tried getting an extension after my break up, and secondly, I've already graduated with decent degree. Why would I be bothered about it now?

(Original post by kka25)
Then, I'm going to tell you to man up and suck it up; this is life. Not everyone is the same. If you think like this, your judgement is clouded by your shallow success because you could pull it off 'once'.

man up about what exactly?
Sounds like you're the one who is jealous of my success. And you don't know how many times I've pulled it off. I've been through a lot of crap in the recent years, death of family members, a very ill mother, abusive father and depression. So I'm proud of what I have achieved. It is, in no way, 'shallow success'.

(Original post by kka25)
not only that, arrogance and very narrow minded view. No employer would be impress by her lack of humility and empathy...

wow. You really are very judgemental, aren't you. Or maybe you're just very good at reading people from a few posts on tsr. you must be very skilled.

Let's leave the empolyers to decide whether or not they would be impressed with me. ok?

[I love shopping]

(Original post by moonietoot)
I don't understand why people are assuming that 'friends' should fall under the same category of supporting everything their friends do. The person that posted this isn't saying that his/her friend is bad. It's just she/he finds it absurd that Unis are willing to extend the time to hand in work over a relationship break up issue or whatever.

I understand that there should be no exception to handing in essays as its easy to say that someone has a problem and for that reason they should also be given an extension in time. For example, if I approached the professor and said, "sir, I had a massive argument with my mum an I haven't eaten in two days and I've been under so much stress that I've not been able to finish the essay. Can you extend the time please?" I'd expect him to say yes based on the fact that the argument was psychologically damaging to myself. It may have been a traumatic event for me for which an extension is required.

Although that scenario isn't the same, the same logic applies. Though I do appreciate that a break up can really mess you up so I understand why the teacher allowed it.

I would change the term 'absurd' to 'fair'. Because the term absurd carries such negative connotations.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Thank you for understanding that I'm not slating my friend. I do appreciate that break ups can cause a lot of emotional turmoil. I'm questioning the way the uni decided to handle the situation.

Now that you've pointed it out, I agree that i shouldn't have used the term 'absurd'.