(Original post by Dippy Dip)
Please read the whole post before you comment.You need to hear the full story.
Two years ago, my immediate family and I had little direct contact with my nan. She wasn't involved in my life, and the times we have spent together had only shown me how annoying she is. The entire family have stories to tell of her, to put it nicely, unusual way around people. I was happy with how it was though, because at least she left me alone save once every two or three years.
Okay, so a year and a half ago, something horrible happened. I don't really want to get into details, but my nan was put into the hospital, her schizophrenic husband was sectioned, and she came to live with us what was at first a few weeks, but what evolved into three months. I didn't care about that, because she'd been through a horrible experience and she probably needed to be around family who weren't explicitly mean to her (ruling my aunt and uncle out). But the first thing she does when she gets here is make a, not going to lie, pretty dark joke about her experience and her husband. She showed literally no trauma from the experience and, as someone put it, if you ignored the scarring and bruising you could argue nothing happened. But you know, she was spending time with us, maybe I could learn more about her. But all she ever wanted, and still wants, to talk about is insurance, mortgages, the cost of booking a holiday, stuff like that. And when she's not talking about that, she'll be starting discussions / arguments on issues she literally doesn't understand, or will be spewing out some weird, out of context rhetoric. On every occasion someone has had to tell her she's not talking about anything related to what everyone else is talking about. She's also critical of me, calling me an alcoholic (which is especially funny, since she drinks a full bottle of wine every night and gets smashed from it), a druggie, or criticising my choice of universities (Sheffield apparently isn't a redbrick, and no amount of discussion will change her mind on that). It's not only me she criticises or upsets. On more occasions I can count, she's upset my mum or my sister - I'm pretty sure she's made them cry as well.
Before I go on, I want to clear something up. My nan is perfectly healthy, both physically and mentally, apart from her being mildly deaf. Nothing about her is caused by something out of her control, so don't assume I'm ignorant to her mental state, because I'm not.
After the three months of her staying with us - which varied between her being around with us and her going on (a great deal of) holidays abroad, she left us in peace. But ever since then, she's come back - a lot, like at least once a month - and has stayed for a week or more with us. Over time, her annoying habits have become downright unbearable. On top of being impossible to talk to, she watches TV ridiculously loudly and seems to laugh or gasp randomly (I swear, the freakiest thing I'll ever see is her laughing her ass off at someone being viciously murdered in a film, where nothing about the scene was funny at all). She also wakes up in the middle of the night and come downstairs to make cups of tea, which always wakes me up because, like her, I'm a light sleeper and I sleep downstairs when she's here. She, understandably, sleeps in my room while she's here (and because we have no other room, I sleep downstairs), and it's been said that she probably sleeps in my bed more than I do. She doesn't know how things work, and refuses to let me teach her how to open my admittedly complicated-to-open bedroom door or how the remote control for the TV works.
I could forgive her odd behaviours and everything, because I'm a bit weird too. But the icing on the cake is that she's intolerant and racist. She's told me that she doesn't think people of different races should have kids together, and she seems to think that all blacks and Eastern Europeans are inherently violent or corrupt. Family or not, it's impossible for me to like anybody who thinks like that. I could make jokes about her at first, but it's evolved into a genuine dislike for her.
I don't talk about this with my mum (who is a guilt tripper, and is easy to take offence on this sort of thing), and my brothers and sisters, on account of not living with us, don't really see this side of her, and they think I'm being too harsh on her. I'm not sure if they're right or not. I mean, I don't like her, and family means very little to me, but having said that, she's my last living grandparent. That should mean something - it would to a lot of people. And the thing that started these frequent visits and such was horrific, and it probably still has a role in her visiting us so much - no matter how evident that it doesn't mean anything any more. Having considered all of this, am I a bad person for not finding it in myself to even like my nan?