[xe_nia]

so I've known I like women since I was 12 or 13, I'm 17 now and it just occurred to me that I've always thought something like "oh, I'm 15, it's too early to tell mum, I'll do it when I'm 17 or something". well here I am, and I kind of feel like coming out to her just because I think it's time.
I know she won't hate me for this, as we have a really good relationship, but I'm still not sure. I'm not dating anyone now, so there's really no one to support me or talk to.
moreover, I've been questioning the whole "lesbian" term for a while and now I'm completely confused. this is all so hard. should I do it?

[Aoide]

My advice would be do it when it feels right. Idealy you shouldn't base your decision to tell her on time but on how comfortable you are in telling her. If your questioning whether to tell her you should probably wait.

[Above.The.Empyrean]

You've done it before, you can do it again.

[lcsurfer]

Do it when you are 100% sure you want to and you believe it is the right time. Don't but a time limit on when you need to do it. I told my mum in the car as for me it seemed the right time i didn't force myself too.
you will probably get a lot of questions like who is she etc etc so be prepared for that if your not in a relationship!
PM me if you want and I can share my experience

[Pop_tart]

I agree with aoide, do it when you are ready! There is no rush with any of this and if you are not even really sure yourself perhaps it's better to talk about it with close friends or an online forum. I came put to my mum at around 16 and that was really only because I couldn't hold it in anymore, it wasn't really the pretending I was straight but I just felt the need to tell her. It can be a little awkward but hey you'll totally get over that (as long as your mum is alright with it).

Feel free to pm me if you want to talk more.

[aivi]

It's up to you really, there is no right or wrong way or time. On one hand you don't owe an explanation to her, but on the other hand she is your mom, and most people don't want to keep these kind of secrets from close family and friends.

I know that I like guys, but I've also had feelings/felt attracted to a few women. As far as my parents and most of my friends know, I'm straight as an arrow, and I don't see any need for them to know otherwise, unless I get into a serious relationship with a girl. The knowledge would just create unnecessary friction and problems (while I know they would still love me, i think they would have trouble with the whole thing, especially me liking both guys and girls...they'd want me to limit myself to guys, just for the sake of convenience and social acceptance etc.)

[xe_nia]

thanks guys. I'll have to think about it some more, I guess.

[I have a question]

When I came out I did something along these lines

[twinlensreflex]

Prepare yourself first, unlike me (I had a panic attack and was just like 'waaah you'll hate me' before I remembered we know lots of gay people & neither of my parents care xD). And find a good time, when you're happy/confident & you're mum isn't in the middle of something. She might have guessed anyway

[saachi]

(Original post by xe_nia)
so I've known I like women since I was 12 or 13, I'm 17 now and it just occurred to me that I've always thought something like "oh, I'm 15, it's too early to tell mum, I'll do it when I'm 17 or something". well here I am, and I kind of feel like coming out to her just because I think it's time.
I know she won't hate me for this, as we have a really good relationship, but I'm still not sure. I'm not dating anyone now, so there's really no one to support me or talk to.
moreover, I've been questioning the whole "lesbian" term for a while and now I'm completely confused. this is all so hard. should I do it?

I just came out sort of slowly to my mum. She knew there was this girl I 'admired', I dropped hints at first to sort of test the waters. If you mom loves you, it'll be okay My mom was really upset at first, became very grumpy, but she's more or less fine with it now. We just don't talk about it much. I'd suggest avoid a confrontational method, because that would probably startle her. Just come out casually.

I was in the same position as you, though, when you're not dating anyone during your coming out process, it tends to be more difficult because people often assume it's just a phase and don't take you seriously.

[A.sniper]

(Original post by xe_nia)
so I've known I like women since I was 12 or 13, I'm 17 now and it just occurred to me that I've always thought something like "oh, I'm 15, it's too early to tell mum, I'll do it when I'm 17 or something". well here I am, and I kind of feel like coming out to her just because I think it's time.
I know she won't hate me for this, as we have a really good relationship, but I'm still not sure. I'm not dating anyone now, so there's really no one to support me or talk to.
moreover, I've been questioning the whole "lesbian" term for a while and now I'm completely confused. this is all so hard. should I do it?

I've had a lot of people tell me that hiding it is half the fun! just do whatever you want to do or feel like doing....

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE

[lcsurfer]

(Original post by twinlensreflex)
She might have guessed anyway

totally agree with this! My mother gave me the whole, as a child you liked playing mummys and mummys instead of mummys and daddys, we know about your year 10 drama teacher and why you ALWAYS did extra drama haha.
Just test the waters first

[ViceVersa]

It helps not to get caught up in labels. Getting caught up can really stress you out etc. Just go with what you're feeling. Don't feel you have to be 'straight' 'bi' or 'lesbian' as there is a spectrum. If you are attracted to girls and want to tell your mum though, how about a letter or an e-mail? It can help you get everything down and give her time to get past the initial shock/reaction, and also time to reply to you. Good luck!