every opinion is needed to help.
Dear All,
This is my first post in the forum but i really need help as my life got to a unimaginably very complicated stage,
I used to be a student at the university of salford for 4 years, during the 4 years i have retook first year and at the forth year i failed 4 modules then i wasnt allowed to go back to university that was about a year ago, i come from the middle east, my dad has paid for everything, but he dont know that i failed a year or that i didnt finish university, my family thinks i finished, i work at the family business but i cant take anymore lying to my family, i dont know if i should go back to university, i think if i told them i will get kicked out of the house for good which is their right because i have been so careless and spent alot of money for no result, about 4 months i have keratoconus (its a condition where the cornia in the eye is shaping like a cone which make the vision very very bad) and had an operation, it was a failed operation and i still have the problem with my eyes and I am severe dyslexic, these are what making me scared to go back to uni., Ihave had thoughts of killing myself because i dont see a way out of it....
What would you do in my place, should i go back to university at 23 if i could, if i got kicked out of my house should work and save money to go to university or am i too old for it?
This is my first post in the forum but i really need help as my life got to a unimaginably very complicated stage,
I used to be a student at the university of salford for 4 years, during the 4 years i have retook first year and at the forth year i failed 4 modules then i wasnt allowed to go back to university that was about a year ago, i come from the middle east, my dad has paid for everything, but he dont know that i failed a year or that i didnt finish university, my family thinks i finished, i work at the family business but i cant take anymore lying to my family, i dont know if i should go back to university, i think if i told them i will get kicked out of the house for good which is their right because i have been so careless and spent alot of money for no result, about 4 months i have keratoconus (its a condition where the cornia in the eye is shaping like a cone which make the vision very very bad) and had an operation, it was a failed operation and i still have the problem with my eyes and I am severe dyslexic, these are what making me scared to go back to uni., Ihave had thoughts of killing myself because i dont see a way out of it....
What would you do in my place, should i go back to university at 23 if i could, if i got kicked out of my house should work and save money to go to university or am i too old for it?
(edited 11 years ago)
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At 23 you should be ready to take responsibility for yourself
Returning to university or not is a consideration but should not be your priority now
Telling your family the truth and facing the consequences should be your priority
You may or may not be asked to leave the family home but, at 23 you are old enough to make your own way, surely
Returning to university or not is a consideration but should not be your priority now
Telling your family the truth and facing the consequences should be your priority
You may or may not be asked to leave the family home but, at 23 you are old enough to make your own way, surely
Dear All,
Thank you for reading the post, i have wrote a post in the genral discussion forum asking for help with opinions, I am 23 years old, i used to be a student at salford uni for 4 years, i retook a year and failed at the 4th year then they didnt allow me to go back to uni, i didnt tell my family till now they all think i graduated, i have worked in my family business for a year but i discovered i love to study, do you think its too late for me to go back to university at 23, do you think I have a chance of going to a strong university ?
My A-levels arnt high and i have a year to fix them, should i repeat them and try to qualify for a strong university, or do you think they wont accept me ?
I am severe dyslexic and i have an eye condition called keratoconus, i had an operation but the operation failed.
Thank you alot for your response
Thank you for reading the post, i have wrote a post in the genral discussion forum asking for help with opinions, I am 23 years old, i used to be a student at salford uni for 4 years, i retook a year and failed at the 4th year then they didnt allow me to go back to uni, i didnt tell my family till now they all think i graduated, i have worked in my family business for a year but i discovered i love to study, do you think its too late for me to go back to university at 23, do you think I have a chance of going to a strong university ?
My A-levels arnt high and i have a year to fix them, should i repeat them and try to qualify for a strong university, or do you think they wont accept me ?
I am severe dyslexic and i have an eye condition called keratoconus, i had an operation but the operation failed.
Thank you alot for your response
what did you Study at university.. And 4 years =age of 27 is worth a lot..THink about it A lot dude.. i think you should go back to university or else you wasted your life ,If u go to university you loose nothing but if u dont u may regret it and it may become too late !!! what are your A Level REsults And gcses if u remember ,,I think if you Repeat your A Levels in 3rd year it is very bad for your application (not sure though)
Original post by ghnm
thank you for your fast response, but if i get asked to leave the home, where would i go ? what should i do ? i will have no money, and i will be in the street.... this is what made me not tell anyone i though ill work for a year and save some money but i couldnt save money,
I do not know what you would do
I have no idea how life works in the Middle East
TBH I find it hard to understand that a family would disown you for this
If the alternative is impossible then perhaps you have to carry on living the lie
I'd try and see if you can get back on it or see if you can do open uni to finish your degree. Then talk to your parents about it. If you find a way to finish it their money hasn't been wasted.
I think the answer "should you go back to uni?" seems fairly simple: yes. Your self-esteem seems low on the basis that you didn't get a degree and couldn't face telling your family. I think you should be honest with your family, but if getting a degree is going to be this significant to your self-esteem you definitely need to get it.
What subject did you study?
I think the answer "should you go back to uni?" seems fairly simple: yes. Your self-esteem seems low on the basis that you didn't get a degree and couldn't face telling your family. I think you should be honest with your family, but if getting a degree is going to be this significant to your self-esteem you definitely need to get it.
What subject did you study?
Original post by tarekmo
what did you Study at university.. And 4 years =age of 27 is worth a lot..THink about it A lot dude.. i think you should go back to university or else you wasted your life ,If u go to university you loose nothing but if u dont u may regret it and it may become too late !!! what are your A Level REsults And gcses if u remember ,,I think if you Repeat your A Levels in 3rd year it is very bad for your application (not sure though)
I think someone needs to practise what they preach. Going back to English classes in school might benefit you
Original post by AndrewWong92
I think someone needs to practise what they preach. Going back to English classes in school might benefit you
I dont mind taking english classes ,, its better than being a no life kid with nothing to worry about in his future ...did you ever consider that some people Live in countries that doesnt have english as a first language ?! Id love to see you Speak my language !! :O
Original post by ghnm
Dear All,
Thank you for reading the post, i have wrote a post in the genral discussion forum asking for help with opinions, I am 23 years old, i used to be a student at salford uni for 4 years, i retook a year and failed at the 4th year then they didnt allow me to go back to uni, i didnt tell my family till now they all think i graduated, i have worked in my family business for a year but i discovered i love to study, do you think its too late for me to go back to university at 23, do you think I have a chance of going to a strong university ?
My A-levels arnt high and i have a year to fix them, should i repeat them and try to qualify for a strong university, or do you think they wont accept me ?
I am severe dyslexic and i have an eye condition called keratoconus, i had an operation but the operation failed.
Thank you alot for your response
Thank you for reading the post, i have wrote a post in the genral discussion forum asking for help with opinions, I am 23 years old, i used to be a student at salford uni for 4 years, i retook a year and failed at the 4th year then they didnt allow me to go back to uni, i didnt tell my family till now they all think i graduated, i have worked in my family business for a year but i discovered i love to study, do you think its too late for me to go back to university at 23, do you think I have a chance of going to a strong university ?
My A-levels arnt high and i have a year to fix them, should i repeat them and try to qualify for a strong university, or do you think they wont accept me ?
I am severe dyslexic and i have an eye condition called keratoconus, i had an operation but the operation failed.
Thank you alot for your response
I'm awfully sorry to hear all of these.
Can you get support? Did your previous Uni know of your circumstances? If you can get support e.g. financial, student disability and you're willing to study the correct field for you; I don't see why not. Knowledge is gold mate
But plan very carefully; set plan A, B, C, etc. Make sure you know what you're doing.
Original post by tarekmo
what did you Study at university.. And 4 years =age of 27 is worth a lot..THink about it A lot dude.. i think you should go back to university or else you wasted your life ,If u go to university you loose nothing but if u dont u may regret it and it may become too late !!! what are your A Level REsults And gcses if u remember ,,I think if you Repeat your A Levels in 3rd year it is very bad for your application (not sure though)
I have dont computer networks, to tell you the truth, i have regreted choosing it, if i go back to university i will go back for engineering or a psychology degree, about my A-level results, i cant remember them exactly but what i remember is that i have 2 Bs the rest is Cs and Ds, so i need to fix them if i want to go to a strong university.
Original post by Skip_Snip
People both return to university and go for the first time at greater ages than 23, don't worry about it on that count.
But what do you want to study? Don't go just to waste a few years on a pointless degree for the sake of studying
But what do you want to study? Don't go just to waste a few years on a pointless degree for the sake of studying
as I said i have chosen a wrong course if i go back i want to do either Electrical Engineering or Mechanical Eng.
It makes me upset to hear that your family would treat you in such a way, but that is their principles so I won't dwell on that.
I believe if you enjoy studying and would like to earn a degree and build a career around that, that you should go for it.
But first and foremost its extremely important that you look back at your first attempt at Uni and why you failed, because you don't want that to happen again. Were you not getting the support you need? Did they know about your dyslexia? Were you not taking university seriously? Do you think you were maybe taking the wrong course/ at the wrong uni?
These are all important questions to consider when you go to Uni for a second time
Also you can get a student loan for university if your considered a "home" student in which case you do not have to rely on your family for the money and would allow you to tell them you've failed and move out to uni!!! So then it won't matter if you get kicked out.
The important thing is to do whats best for you, not for your parents, not for anyone else. University is just not for some people, but if you want/believe that you can do it, then go for it I say.
So long as you dedicate yourself you've got nothing to lose!
I believe if you enjoy studying and would like to earn a degree and build a career around that, that you should go for it.
But first and foremost its extremely important that you look back at your first attempt at Uni and why you failed, because you don't want that to happen again. Were you not getting the support you need? Did they know about your dyslexia? Were you not taking university seriously? Do you think you were maybe taking the wrong course/ at the wrong uni?
These are all important questions to consider when you go to Uni for a second time
Also you can get a student loan for university if your considered a "home" student in which case you do not have to rely on your family for the money and would allow you to tell them you've failed and move out to uni!!! So then it won't matter if you get kicked out.
The important thing is to do whats best for you, not for your parents, not for anyone else. University is just not for some people, but if you want/believe that you can do it, then go for it I say.
So long as you dedicate yourself you've got nothing to lose!
Original post by TenOfThem
At 23 you should be ready to take responsibility for yourself
Returning to university or not is a consideration but should not be your priority now
Telling your family the truth and facing the consequences should be your priority
You may or may not be asked to leave the family home but, at 23 you are old enough to make your own way, surely
Returning to university or not is a consideration but should not be your priority now
Telling your family the truth and facing the consequences should be your priority
You may or may not be asked to leave the family home but, at 23 you are old enough to make your own way, surely
I'm just going to put my 0.02cent here; it's rather unfair of you to generalize like that. Some people mature at different rates; some still need a lot of help even if they reached a certain age. Yes, it is true that at a certain age, one should be responsible for ones own future, but it is within my opinion that at the age of 20+, one is still young and they could still get some guidance and help. I'm saying this because after I read your post, I'm getting the impression that from your view, the OP should be 110% on his own; under the circumstances that he's having, and if I have a child like the OP, I'll do my very best as a parent to help my kid out.
To the OP, I think given the circumstances, you're doing alright; hold your head high and try your best to move on with the experience and plan well for the next : )
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by kka25
I'm awfully sorry to hear all of these.
Can you get support? Did your previous Uni know of your circumstances? If you can get support e.g. financial, student disability and you're willing to study the correct field for you; I don't see why not. Knowledge is gold mate
But plan very carefully; set plan A, B, C, etc. Make sure you know what you're doing.
Can you get support? Did your previous Uni know of your circumstances? If you can get support e.g. financial, student disability and you're willing to study the correct field for you; I don't see why not. Knowledge is gold mate
But plan very carefully; set plan A, B, C, etc. Make sure you know what you're doing.
I dont know if i can but my Dr in the university has told me that i have no chances and i have to start all over again, i dont know about support, my fees has been paid by my dad who doesnt know that i didnt finish my university, and i dont know what he would do to know that i didnt, but i am really scared hell be sick or have an attack or smth.
Original post by Herr
It's never too late to go back to uni if it means it will improve your chances in life.
hopefully, to tell u the truth i am working in the family business but eventhough i need a degree to prove to myself that i can do it, in the last 2 years i have been living a nightmare...
Original post by bownessie
I still maintain what I said on the other forum: try and finish your degree. You almost finished it so it seems to make sense to finish the one you are doing already and then if you want to go to another university, then apply to do a masters once you are finished.
i cant finish the same degree as i said my dr has sent me an email saying that the university regulation doesnt give me a chance to repeat or do another computer science course which means i have to do it all over again if i want to get a degree.
Dear ghnm,
I sympathise with you, kinda know how it feels to be afraid of giving family bad news. Bu it think you should explain how things are to them, you may be surprised at how great they are. I think you should go back to university, and if your a levels aren't that great, you can take a foundation programme at many universities, even the best have them, and since you're an international student you will be qualified for that. As for the age, don't worry, a guy on my foundation programme was 26 and he was focused and ended up with an offer from Warwick, you just need to focus and your life will head back on track. You should also let whichever schools you enrol to aware of your condition, I'm very sure they have suitable arrangements. Remember, no situation is worth taking your life for.
This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
I sympathise with you, kinda know how it feels to be afraid of giving family bad news. Bu it think you should explain how things are to them, you may be surprised at how great they are. I think you should go back to university, and if your a levels aren't that great, you can take a foundation programme at many universities, even the best have them, and since you're an international student you will be qualified for that. As for the age, don't worry, a guy on my foundation programme was 26 and he was focused and ended up with an offer from Warwick, you just need to focus and your life will head back on track. You should also let whichever schools you enrol to aware of your condition, I'm very sure they have suitable arrangements. Remember, no situation is worth taking your life for.
This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
My opinion = I personally think that lying to your family about this is wrong. With them assuming you finished uni they will keep reminding you about it, hence why you feel you cant deal with anything anymore. It sounds a little like you are ashamed of yourself. It's getting you down, so personally I think it is only right to tell them.
It is to be expected that they may be angry with you because of your dad paying for you, but at the end of the day they are your parents. They have cared for you from the word 'go' and have never gave up on you. Hopefully they will understand you and talk through what to do next. Just be yourself and be honest and truthful with them. Even cry a little if you feel like it to show them how much it means to you!
23 is fine to go to university. Just make sure that its the right course for you this time and that whatever got you to fail last time doesnt happen again.
If you want to go to a strong university then i would advise retaking your A-levels, however i don't see the point in that as it will add more work and stress, and give you less time to go to uni. There is nothing wrong with going to a lower uni, all you need is a degree. Dont put more pressure on yourself than you already have right now.
Good luck x
It is to be expected that they may be angry with you because of your dad paying for you, but at the end of the day they are your parents. They have cared for you from the word 'go' and have never gave up on you. Hopefully they will understand you and talk through what to do next. Just be yourself and be honest and truthful with them. Even cry a little if you feel like it to show them how much it means to you!
23 is fine to go to university. Just make sure that its the right course for you this time and that whatever got you to fail last time doesnt happen again.
If you want to go to a strong university then i would advise retaking your A-levels, however i don't see the point in that as it will add more work and stress, and give you less time to go to uni. There is nothing wrong with going to a lower uni, all you need is a degree. Dont put more pressure on yourself than you already have right now.
Good luck x
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