I'm terrified of learning to drive I keep putting it off, was gonna do it when I turned 17, that became 18 and now my 19th's long gone, whilst I am afraid I wouldn't;t be good enough the real problem is I am aspergic and don't deal with people well especially when things are going wrong, I don't react well to be being told off especially if its very direct criticism which I heard is the common style of driving instructors for obvious reasons.
Should I just give up and never learn to drive or should I at least make the effort first?
I honestly wouldn't worry just be open with instructors on the phone and tell them your aspergic and they should understand. If they don't then there not worth your money and try ringing around. I'm pretty sure driving instructors don't tell people off (well mine doesn't anyway) they just tell you how to improve and not in a bad way.If i do something wrong I just see the finny side of it. Many driving schools offer taster lessons and special offers like 2 lessons for £15 and things like that, maybe its a good idea to try that first and see how you get on. I definatley wouldn't give up!
Tell your instructor that you're a nervous newbie - trust me, they've helped so many people overcome their fears of driving. You'll learn by experience that driving is not really that bad, and that any dreadful thoughts you had were irrational and faulty thinking. You are not alone - I was dead scared to get behind the wheel but you need to step out of your comfort zone and give it a try at least. That way, you'll have the satisfaction of having at least tried it. You can always change instructors if you don't really connect with one.
My biggest recommendation is this hypnotherapy CD to help you calm your driving nerves, it's got great reviews on Amazon and if you've not used Audible before, you can download it for free and then cancel your membership and still keep the soundtrack. You won't have spent a penny.
(Original post by stubear)
I don't react well to be being told off especially if its very direct criticism which I heard is the common style of driving instructors for obvious reasons.
This is precisely what your driving instructor should know before you start. They are unlikely to be experienced in precise disorders, so would be grateful of more details on your condition.
Simple instructions on how you would like them to react may be all they would need. So for the record, how would you like to be informed that you've made a mistake? How would you like it to be remedied?
Instructors can be really friendly people. Try and go with an instructor that someone you know has had a good experience with and on the first lesson they'll probably ask if you're nervous. Just say that you are and the instructor will know what to do.
The instructor, at least a good one anyway, would never shout at you or tell you off whilst you're driving because they know it would be dangerous to do this. Whenever I made mistakes when I was learning, my instructor would get me to pull up at the side of the road somewhere quiet and just ask if I knew what I had done wrong and what I should have done differently.
Another thing I could suggest is maybe getting a parent or someone you know who is allowed to supervise a learner to take you somewhere like an abandoned car park or some sort of private land where you can get used to the basics to build up your confidence.
It's hardly likely that you'd be the first nervous person your instructor would have taught. If driving is something you want to do, then do it. I was quite nervous, perhaps not as much as you, but I passed my test at 17 and have loved every minute of driving for the past two years.
Don't worry, it's natural to be nervous but after a few lessons you'll be fine and will most likely look forward to your lessons. If an instructor did tell you off, then just change as these instructors aren't worth the money. Every new driver makes mistakes and they should guide you when you do, not criticise.
Why not try getting a friend/family member to teach you the basics and then get a recommended driving instructor to teach you the advanced things (that are easy once you know the basics) after that. Driving is fun was you know the basics. See who your friends learnt to drive with as well, they may be able to recommend a good instructor. Good luck.
I was petrified when I had my first lesson, but once you get going it's not as scary as you think. Driving a manual car, there does seem a lot to remember, but as lessons go by, it all clicks into place. I am right in the middle of my lessons now, and I love it. I was scared to begin with.
It's natural to be nervous, but the biggest advice I can give to you is just give it a go; even if it is for a few lessons as you don't meet traffic at all during the first hours. You might surprise yourself.