How the hell does one get real friends?
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(Original post by willbee)
Some relationships sour, **** happens and some people have friends for life, some don't. Treasure your friendships while they last, but don't mourn them too much when they're over. Friendships tend to end for a reason, even if that is distance or lifestyle choice and you feel like otherwise you would be soulmates.
I think everyone needs somewhere between four and six special friends, people to lean on, people that constitute "home". Now, I don't know how many people have let you down recently, but if all your friends seem to let you down at the same time, perhaps it is more a reflection on you than on them.
But I'm speculating: I have no idea what is going on in your life, but I feel as if I can empathise with you as my longest friendship has come apart at the seams in the last week, unfortunately.
The thing I would say, though, is that if you have been good friends with anybody and they have let you down, give them a second chance as much as it pains you. If they don't know what they're doing to hurt you, you can't expect them to stop (self-medicating here really) but if they know they are causing you pain, then you don't need to keep them in your life.
Friends are people we choose to spend our lives with, but they're not in it for the long haul like family. Family are the people who have been a part of our life for so long that spending time with them is not even habit, but completely natural. You don't have to like your family, you don't even have to love them. You just have to have known them long enough and well enough to stick with them even after the **** has hit the fan and you both smell a lot uglier because you're covered in it.
So work out if whoever has recently wronged you is a friend or a family member, and if they're one of the four to six (give or take) people that you considered your closest friends, then it's fair to count them as family and stick with them a little longer.
If they're only friends, then they're fantastic, but you can live without them. If they're more like family, then you'll find living without them extremely difficult. I think that's the big difference when it comes down to it.
And if you look at it all and think everyone has abandoned you then I am not qualified to advise you in that sort of situation, for I have never been in it myself. But I'll quote Simone White to conclude, and hopefully you get the general gist of what I'm saying:
"Home is the house you build with your bones"
People on here seems to take this thread as some joke.
(Original post by *Thedreaming*)
Thanks for this
People on here seems to take this thread as some joke.
You have to remember that BEFORE you write a post requesting help on a forum like TSR. Because we don't have tone of voice and facial expressions to monitor how genuine you are, some people may read a real cry for help as completely insincere. The thing is you just can't tell, and sometimes you can't give someone the benefit of doubt, because the doubt is just too big...
Most people on this forum are guilty of being inconsiderate at some point or another (myself included), and we say things to each other that we would never dare in real life (for some reason, decency doesn't exist much on the internet).
So whenever you make a thread asking for help or advice, just brace yourself for the barrage of jokes and insults that may or may not plague you, and read through and respond only to the positive posts from people who are actually trying to help.
Also, if someone replies and you don't know if they're being nice or nasty (maybe you suspect sarcasm) always assume the best in them, because they may be genuine (and if not, they're not worth your time).
(Original post by rbnphlp)
Let me tell you a story ,
The story begins in a village/
The village, were sheep farmers. Everybody in the village took turns to look after the sheep, and when Peter was 10 years old, he was considered old enough to take his turn at shepherding.
But Peter was too easily bored, and he found it very tiresome being on the hillside with only sheep for company. So he’d find ways to amuse himself, running up rocks, climbing trees, chasing sheep, but nothing really kept him amused for very long. Then he hit upon a brilliant idea. He climbed to the top of the tallest tree, and started shouting towards the village: “Wolf! Wolf! Wooolf! Woohoolf!”
One of the villagers heard him, and got all the other men together, and armed with axes, hoes and forks, they ran out of the village to chase away the wolf and save their herd. Of course when they got there, they merely found Peter perched high up in his tree, laughing, and the sheep grazing peacefully. They were very annoyed with him. That night Peter got a spanking from his mother and was sent to bed without any supper.
For a while life went on again as normal, and people forgot about the incident. Peter managed to behave himself whenever it was his turn to mind the sheep. Until one day, he got really bored again. He picked up some sticks, and running through where the sheep were grazing, he started hitting the sticks together, and shouting: “Wolf! Wolf! Wooolf! Woohoolf! Woohoohoooolf!”
Sure enough, somebody in the village heard and before long the men all come running up the hill armed with their sticks and axes and hoes and shovels, ready to chase away the big bad wolf, and save their sheep and the poor shepherd boy. Imagine their consternation when they arrived in the field to see their herd grazing peacefully, and Peter sitting on a big rock, laughing uncontrollably.
That night Peter got a good telling off, an even better spanking from his mother, and was again sent to bed without any supper. For a few days people in the village went around moaning about Peter and his tricks, but before long things settled down again, and life resumed its normal uneventful course, and Peter had to do his turn at shepherding again every now and then. He decided he should behave himself, he really didn’t want to upset everybody all the time, and he especially didn’t want another one of his mother’s spankings!
Then, one afternoon when Peter was in the fields with the sheep, he noticed some of them were getting nervous, they started bleating and running hither and thither. Peter didn’t know what was the cause of this strange behaviour, sheep were running all over and making an ever louder racket. He got worried and decided to climb a tree so he could see what was going on. He balanced on a sturdy branch and looked around, what he saw almost made him fall out of the tree. There was a great big hairy wolf, chasing the sheep, biting at their legs, snapping at their tails. For a few seconds Peter was speechless. Then he started shouting: “Woolf! Woolof! Woohoohooloof!”
In the village an old man heard the shouting. “Oh no, not that Peter again”, he said, shaking his head. “What’s going on?” enquired another villager. “It’s that Peter again, he just can’t help himself”.
“That boy needs to be the centre of attention all the time”, said another. “Wait till his mother gets a hold of him”, added yet another. Nobody believed that this time there really was a wolf, and nobody got their hoe out, or their axe, or their shovel. All the sticks were left in the sheds and nobody rushed up the hillside. It wasn’t until very much later that afternoon, that the boy sent to take over the shepherding from Peter found dead sheep’s bodies strewn all over the hillside, and Peter still up there in his tree, whimpering, that the villagers found out there really had been a wolf this time.
So the question why did I tell you this story ?
I dont know man , just thought this was a good time to share this story.
Really tricky. I have lots of people I'm on good talking terms with, but people I know I'll still be close to in 30 years' time? I have only one.
you dont get one, it just happens. More times you dont actually realise its happened untill something rocks the boat.. the you know its real.
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