For the past year I have really been struggling to contain my irritation and annoyance at one of my friends. I know he's a lovely person - caring, sensitive, there when I need him etc but I just find him infuriating. He is narrow-minded and his views on life are not only so different from my own but they disgust me. His jokes aren't funny and he's weirdly sly in his manner. He's really dependant on family and super sensitive I find that really annoying too because I'm really independant and quite strong, and I always get the urge to tell him to 'grow a pair' when he's whining or moaning about something. He has double standards and can be really selfish. Sometimes these things don't even have a direct effect on me I just find it really aggravating knowing that he is like this! We're quite close - like the good times are really good - but I've been thinking about cutting him off next year because I can't deal with him when we have a disagreement, and I always seem to find that his actions when either one of us are having a bad patch are ridiculously unhelpful, helpless and ANNOYING! I just end up ranting and bitching at him and that's not healthy for either of us. There are, as I say, good things. And I do really care about him which is why I've held on to this friendship for a while now. But I just can't bring myself to respect him and always end up being way more angry at him than is rational? What should I do?
This is an embarrassing post I'm a first year medical student
*When I say cutting him off, I mean not really texting or calling - doing the whole hi-bye thing? Which might be difficult considering we are in the same friends group!
to me it looks like you need to distance yourself from him, make him more of a casual friend.. one you only socialise with in a group, this would help the fact that you guys hang out with the same people. you just seem like 2 people who are just too different to work as good friends! good luck!
I've been in a similar situation. It seems like you two have grown apart. You seem to have changed yet he seems to have stayed the same. Now there isn't anything wrong with that.
This is what I did in my situation:
I tried not to be too close to the person. And I didn't exactly avoid contact. What I realised was when I didn't make the effort neither did they. So it sort of cut off by it self. Then when that person did contact me I didn't ignore them, I replied back. But instead of replying back with a long message like I usually did, I replied back with a small message.
I don't think it's anything to worry about and definitely nothing to be ashamed about. I think we have all situations like this. I often feel like I have different views from others and they often annoy me. Now I can't change them. But I can choose what to do in the situation.
To avoid anything awkward, I'd just keep the contact very limited. And if your friend asks you why then explain this to him. And maybe he will understand.
every group has one. my case is that one of the individuals has changed and not for the better. Became cocky and developed an ego, thinking he's better in every aspect of life. Constantly looking down on me, and feeling a sense of satisfaction if something doesnt work out for me. Always trying to put me down. Thing is he was sound and can still be at times. I'm think of playin him at his own game, but it's not nice and i Hate putting people down. Not been contacting him as much either, but not cutting contact off completely. Hopefully he will come round to his old self. Just so annoying