[imsoorin]

So, my friend, someone I worked with, is a complete compulsive liar. And I was wondering if any of you had a friend like this?

She lies about little things, like places she goes and people she sees. Or things she has done. At first, my friends and I just brushed it off, took it on the chin, and figured the more we ignored it, the less she would try to lie about it. But I guess it got worse. She even lied about being married to a rock star and being in a band, something that my friends and I thought was quite funny.

But she moved on to lying about things that had happened to her in her life. Such as being widowed and being abused by her father. Like I said, I just tried to ignore it, no matter how sick it sounds.

Her latest was the worst which has encouraged me to try to cut off all ties with her. She told us she has cancer. I immediately drew suspicions. I happened to run into her sister in town and asked her, who confirmed that she was lying. And according to her, my friend has never been married and had a fairly happy childhood, nothing like she had described.

I just wanted to hear your stories on people you have known who lie like this, how have you dealt with compulsive liars?

-Soorin

p.s Thanks for reading and sorry if this post is quite hefty :P

[Pitt1988]

I hate people like that. Their lives are obviously so boring and uneventful that they spin stuff like this. I'd just distance yourself from her and when she tries to engage you in conversation either ignore her or give her answers that wont warrant a reply. Either that or make up some blatantly ridiculous lies yourself, see if she gets the hint.

[imsoorin]

I've tried to ignore her, but she is the kind of person who will persistently call or message me. Out of politeness, I reply. I don't like being rude to people. Usually when she says things, I just nod along. I think she might keep in touch with me because she has probably driven other friends away. This might sound terrible, but I want her to get caught out. I know there are people with psychological problems, but I wish she could just see what she is doing is wrong or at least admit she has a problem. Thanks for the reply

[BethaneyJ]

My mother was a compulsive liar. She even believed her own lies and in the end I stopped speaking to her entirely (lots of other factors involved though).

It's one of those things where you have to take what they say with a pinch of salt, or ask them to back up what they're saying. One thing that used to work with my mother was to take what she said absolutely seriously and go over the top crazy about it. Not tiny things, but the slightly bigger things. She once told me a total lie about something my sister had said so I got my sister over and we had it out in front of her, she quickly had to admit she lied.

I would suggest you just stop being friends but she sounds like she desperately needs something more in her life. Perhaps take her aside and say to her that you know she's lying and ask her if she is okay/why?

[sophieleannexo]

I have a friend like that, she lies about a lot of things! Apparently she had a boyfriend, got pregnant, he was then diagnosed with cancer, then she lost the baby, then decided she was pregnant with twins, then her boyfriend died but came back to life the next day. Fair to say I've never met this boyfriend of hers and her sister is one of my best friends. She has to be caught out, otherwise she is going to lose friends. I'm sorry if this is harsh but she needs to be confronted.

[Educate95]

(Original post by imsoorin)
So, my friend, someone I worked with, is a complete compulsive liar. And I was wondering if any of you had a friend like this?

She lies about little things, like places she goes and people she sees. Or things she has done. At first, my friends and I just brushed it off, took it on the chin, and figured the more we ignored it, the less she would try to lie about it. But I guess it got worse. She even lied about being married to a rock star and being in a band, something that my friends and I thought was quite funny.

But she moved on to lying about things that had happened to her in her life. Such as being widowed and being abused by her father. Like I said, I just tried to ignore it, no matter how sick it sounds.

Her latest was the worst which has encouraged me to try to cut off all ties with her. She told us she has cancer. I immediately drew suspicions. I happened to run into her sister in town and asked her, who confirmed that she was lying. And according to her, my friend has never been married and had a fairly happy childhood, nothing like she had described.

I just wanted to hear your stories on people you have known who lie like this, how have you dealt with compulsive liars?

-Soorin

p.s Thanks for reading and sorry if this post is quite hefty :P

This is completely wrong. Why is she being like this? She needs to see someone. Have you suggested she see a counselor or talk to someone? Are her parents aware of her lying? The things that she is saying could really get her trouble. Maybe confront her about it? If she's capable of making up these lies, do you not think that it's possible that she could make up a lie about you..?

Good luck.

[imsoorin]

(Original post by sophieleannexo)
I have a friend like that, she lies about a lot of things! Apparently she had a boyfriend, got pregnant, he was then diagnosed with cancer, then she lost the baby, then decided she was pregnant with twins, then her boyfriend died but came back to life the next day. Fair to say I've never met this boyfriend of hers and her sister is one of my best friends. She has to be caught out, otherwise she is going to lose friends. I'm sorry if this is harsh but she needs to be confronted.

This sounds so much like her. Seriously, pretty much everything you said sounds like something she has said. Wow. It sucks to be in this kind of situation. Thanks

[imsoorin]

(Original post by Educate95)
This is completely wrong. Why is she being like this? She needs to see someone. Have you suggested she see a counselor or talk to someone? Are her parents aware of her lying? The things that she is saying could really get her trouble. Maybe confront her about it? If she's capable of making up these lies, do you not think that it's possible that she could make up a lie about you..?

Good luck.

I know, it's so wrong. I've sort of tried to confront her about it but I'm not a very extroverted person, I don't really like to start conflicts or anything. I know her mother lies a lot, but her sister knows about the lying. The thing is, my friend paints her sister as a liar and says not to believe anything she says. A little bit like going round in circles. Thanks for the reply

[MQ003C]

That's pretty pathetic in all sense of the word. I reckon confronting her if this gets out of hand. Not to mention cancer? You just don't lie about things as serious as that what on earth is wrong with this girl? Sorry but lying to these kind of lengths is ridiculous, its not being rude confronting her when she's lying about every little thing. If anything you're being reasonable to confront her. Takes a lot to stand up to people but sometimes its for your own good.

[imsoorin]

(Original post by BethaneyJ)
My mother was a compulsive liar. She even believed her own lies and in the end I stopped speaking to her entirely (lots of other factors involved though).

It's one of those things where you have to take what they say with a pinch of salt, or ask them to back up what they're saying. One thing that used to work with my mother was to take what she said absolutely seriously and go over the top crazy about it. Not tiny things, but the slightly bigger things. She once told me a total lie about something my sister had said so I got my sister over and we had it out in front of her, she quickly had to admit she lied.

I would suggest you just stop being friends but she sounds like she desperately needs something more in her life. Perhaps take her aside and say to her that you know she's lying and ask her if she is okay/why?

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that someday it will work out in the end and you can speak again.

I confronted my friends sister but my friend keeps telling me not to believe anything she says. I know people have some real problems in their lives and for someone to lie that it happens to them is awful. Thank you for your reply

[sophieleannexo]

(Original post by imsoorin)
This sounds so much like her. Seriously, pretty much everything you said sounds like something she has said. Wow. It sucks to be in this kind of situation. Thanks

I caught my friend out by asking her parents and her sister right in front if her. I don't see her now but we are still friends. Now apparently she has a job on a cruise ship going around the world and has tickets for most of the events at the Olympics. It does suck but if you confront her in a calm way, she won't lose a friend. Explain that you think she has a problem and that this supposed complusive lieing is driving you away from her and you don't want that to happen. Just approach the subject lightly in conversation and its okay!

[imsoorin]

(Original post by MQ003C)
That's pretty pathetic in all sense of the word. I reckon confronting her if this gets out of hand. Not to mention cancer? You just don't lie about things as serious as that what on earth is wrong with this girl? Sorry but lying to these kind of lengths is ridiculous, its not being rude confronting her when she's lying about every little thing. If anything you're being reasonable to confront her. Takes a lot to stand up to people but sometimes its for your own good.

It's very sick, and to be honest, quite sad, that she should have to lie about cancer. I'm quite shy sometimes lol. Thanks, it's nice so many on here are encouraging me.

[dinrah04]

I'm not sure if it's the same but during my early secondary school time, there were so many boys who made up the stupidest lies imaginable, for seemingly no reason. One boy would say how his father got hit by a speeding bus, and didn't even fall to the ground and walked it off. His father killed a man with one punch. He saw a gorilla carrying a baby to the top of a mountain, he slept on the wing of a plane, he took over a school with a bow and arrow.
I can't see what these people will gain from these obviously bs lies and how they get so serious when they try and fool us, how stupid do they think we are to believe it.

[imsoorin]

(Original post by sophieleannexo)
I caught my friend out by asking her parents and her sister right in front if her. I don't see her now but we are still friends. Now apparently she has a job on a cruise ship going around the world and has tickets for most of the events at the Olympics. It does suck but if you confront her in a calm way, she won't lose a friend. Explain that you think she has a problem and that this supposed complusive lieing is driving you away from her and you don't want that to happen. Just approach the subject lightly in conversation and its okay!

On one occasion she was with her Mum. We didn't try to confront her but some of the things her Mum said didn't really add up to what my friend had said. We just kind of laughed about it.

She's been wanting to meet up soon, so I think I will. She wants to meet me and another friend we used to work with, who thinks the same as me. I might just ask her then.

[BethaneyJ]

(Original post by imsoorin)
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that someday it will work out in the end and you can speak again.

I confronted my friends sister but my friend keeps telling me not to believe anything she says. I know people have some real problems in their lives and for someone to lie that it happens to them is awful. Thank you for your reply

Please don't be sorry it's kind of wonderful

Good luck :3

[Anonymous]

I used to be lie all the time without noticing it. They were mostly about mundane things that were pointless to lie about if I knew I was lying. Sometimes, the lies would become part of my reality and on occasions I'd end up at places without knowing why I was there!

The difference between someone who's e.g. depressed or someone who's a pathalogical liar is that lies affect other people and so it's hard to feel sympathy towards them. Also, if someone is continually lying to you then most people won't associate that with mental illness and instead, associate the lies with a negative aspect of their personality. Words like "pathetic", "hate" and "wrong" in this thread illustrate my point! Lying is something that is (rightly) looked down upon in society but people need to realise that some people can't control it.

I got help and now I can control it. Your friend should definitely see someone about her problem.

[imsoorin]

(Original post by dinrah04)
I'm not sure if it's the same but during my early secondary school time, there were so many boys who made up the stupidest lies imaginable, for seemingly no reason. One boy would say how his father got hit by a speeding bus, and didn't even fall to the ground and walked it off. His father killed a man with one punch. He saw a gorilla carrying a baby to the top of a mountain, he slept on the wing of a plane, he took over a school with a bow and arrow.
I can't see what these people will gain from these obviously bs lies and how they get so serious when they try and fool us, how stupid do they think we are to believe it.

Oh wow, haha, sounds like they lived in an action movie or something. I don't understand it either. I mean, I fib occasionally, just little things, but nothing like....y'know...."I was born with three legs" or something.

[sophieleannexo]

(Original post by imsoorin)
On one occasion she was with her Mum. We didn't try to confront her but some of the things her Mum said didn't really add up to what my friend had said. We just kind of laughed about it.

She's been wanting to meet up soon, so I think I will. She wants to meet me and another friend we used to work with, who thinks the same as me. I might just ask her then.

Well you have your proof. Honestly she may just feel left out of things, maybe she feels unfortunate compared to you and your other friends. Or perhaps she does have a problem. Asking her will be the best and easiest, that way what you think will be out in the open. Just be honest with her

[imsoorin]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I used to be lie all the time without noticing it. They were mostly about mundane things that were pointless to lie about if I knew I was lying. Sometimes, the lies would become part of my reality and on occasions I'd end up at places without knowing why I was there!

The difference between someone who's e.g. depressed or someone who's a pathalogical liar is that lies affect other people and so it's hard to feel sympathy towards them. Also, if someone is continually lying to you then most people won't associate that with mental illness and instead, associate the lies with a negative aspect of their personality. Words like "pathetic", "hate" and "wrong" in this thread illustrate my point! Lying is something that is (rightly) looked down upon in society but people need to realise that some people can't control it.

I got help and now I can control it. Your friend should definitely see someone about her problem.

Thank you, it takes a lot to admit that.

That's what I mean when I say I feel bad about confronting her, because she probably does have a serious problem and can't control it. But on the other hand it's not right...it's hard to explain. I briefly looked at the psychology of liars in Sociology Class, so I can see where you are coming from. I honestly think she can't differentiate between her lies and reality. I honestly think she believes what she says, that's why I'm unsure about confronting her.

Thank you again.

[Dmon1Unlimited]

how do you tell if its a lie?
could be a weird joke?
could be bored?
could have a weird mental issue?
could have private issues that shed rather lie about?

if it annoys yo then try talking to her about it...