[insignificant]

I'm at a loss of what to do. I had posted a thread about this a while ago but things have got much worse.

She originally moved out of her mums house to go live with her dad when she was about 14. It baffled everyone because her mum gave her a good life, nice house, an allowance, all the normal kid stuff, but she laid down the law in order to provide her with guidance and so she knew what was right and wrong. I think like a lot of teenagers, she didnt like this, and decided to go live with her dad. Her dad is an evil nasty piece of work. He did something horrible to my auntie which went through court, he is in so much debt to my auntie he is up to his eyeballs in it. He hasnt once paid child support allowance for my other cousin who is her sister, no christmas presents or birthday, anything.

Once my cousin realised she was getting a poor standard of life and wasnt going to get anything out of her dad she went to go live with her dads parents. Her life seemed to somewhat stabilise there. She saw her mum once a week, and at the weekend she saw her sister. her mum remarried a wonderful man, who provides for the family and does anything for them all.

And then she got involved with the wrong crowd at her sixth form. She failed her 2nd year of sixth form, but decided to resit it. Things just went downhill from there. She barely went to school, somehow got the work done, spent most of her time going out with people 10+ years older than her, and noone her own age.

3 weeks before the end of her third year, she dropped out. She had done all her exams, all she needed to do was hand in this one folder of work she had done, but she decided to not do it. She went through all that effort and had done everything and just decided to stop, despite everyone supporting her through it all. She then went missing for 3 days where even none of her friends knew where she was, and suddenly reappeared like everything was normal, and her sister was in bits. She swore at her grandparents when they tried to help her sort out what was going on.

She then decided to move out of her grandparents, and go live with her boyfriend and 3 other guys, with only a small part time job to support her that she hadnt even finished her trial period with and kept missing her shifts.

I know there isnt anything anyone can do because shes an adult but the worst thing is that she hasnt spoken to her own mother in months. She got a new number, and gave it everyone but her mum. She didnt even know she had a new number until her sister told her mum. Her mum got taken seriously ill on holiday the other week and was hospitalised and had to be specially flown home and is off work sick, and her sister told her everything that had happened to her mum, and she still wont go see her, bring some flowers, say sorry, anything.

I dont know what to do, something needs to be done, she cant be taking advantage of everyone, making everyone worried sick all the time. Yes she's allowed to do what she wants, but what she does affects everyone, and we are all worried.

TL;DR Cousin has gone wild, quit sixth form, moved in with a load of guys, only a part time job to support her, and her mother is really ill, and she knows and wont go see her. what can i do?

[Educate95]

Hi there.

First of all I'm so sorry, to hear this. It's obvious that you are very concerned about her. But from what you have said, it seems like she doesn't care about how everyone else feels or it appears that way.

I think something is troubling her maybe? Something must have triggered all of this.

You can't fix this, but I think the best thing you can do is to just try and support her. That is if she lets you.. If she won't talk to you. Then I think everyone just needs to give her time and space alone. When she is ready she will come to you.

With regards to her Mum being ill, if I were you, I would remind her of how serious it is, and keep suggesting that she see her, before its too late.

Hmm..

Hope this helps. :/

[insignificant]

(Original post by Educate95)
Hi there.

First of all I'm so sorry, to hear this. It's obvious that you are very concerned about her. But from what you have said, it seems like she doesn't care about how everyone else feels or it appears that way.

I think something is troubling her maybe? Something must have triggered all of this.

You can't fix this, but I think the best thing you can do is to just try and support her. That is if she lets you.. If she won't talk to you. Then I think everyone just needs to give her time and space alone. When she is ready she will come to you.

With regards to her Mum being ill, if I were you, I would remind her of how serious it is, and keep suggesting that she see her, before its too late.

Hmm..

Hope this helps. :/

The problem is, is if i try broach the subject with her, theres a chance that she would block me from facebook, and thats the only way that my auntie can see what shes up to and doing, so I cant take that risk :/

[Educate95]

(Original post by insignificant)
The problem is, is if i try broach the subject with her, theres a chance that she would block me from facebook, and thats the only way that my auntie can see what shes up to and doing, so I cant take that risk :/

Ahh okay, maybe that was a bad idea then. Hmm. Just try and support her then I guess. Do you not have her phone number?