[motobrock]

(Original post by manchester1992)
Thanks again.

To be honest, the last few days have been such a whirlwind I haven't given uni any decent thought yet. Yeah, I hope they are understanding with the situation. Think its going to be a tough call to decide weather to return this year, or not Suppose all I can do is see how the coming months progress

Try no to think of cancer of a death sentence as everybody dies eventually and like said earlier sometimes good things happen aswell. Try to think of it more like them leaving and u get so say goodbye and get everything out there before the go.
Things to consider doing ....
Take pictures something that u can put on a fireplace or whatever make sure u have some nice picture to remember them with to help remember how the lived rather then how they died.

Maybe get them to make a small video clip for you (friends dad got brain cancer and before he passed it changed him made him into a nasty person, he said an old video of them on holiday just talking n laughing helped a lot when it got hard) might find it good to remember them with

Dont trust computers there sneaky ****ers. A hard drive failure or theft or whatever and u can loose a lot . Like wedding photos. Back stuff up and have a few hard copys.


My dad, well step dad, got cancer. A rare bone cancer he had a heart bypass thus had regular blood test yet it didn't show up in his blood . He beat the first lot but they said it would be back and it was. But we all had a chance to say what we wanted to say, he died 0526 16th December at home. As for uni it's a choice that utterly down to u. Personally I tried to work fulltime as well and ended up losing my job due to time off etc but I don't regret it at all I can get another job. But uni is different.

From my exp I found everyone was there for me and super supportive but sometimes it's easier to talk to people u don't know....

Hope your mum fights though it. Stay strong.

Sorry for been a bit blunt but it usely spot me getting upset about it... didn't work lol

[iLoveRobSwire<3]

Sorry to hear that OP

My dad was diagnosed with lymphoma in his brain in 2009, he had chemo for about a year until he went into remission and then the tumor grew back near the end of 2010. He went into remission again at the beginning of 2012 and had a brain scan a month ago which we haven't heard back from. My mum read about it all on the internet when my dad was diagnosed, she made herself worry and that didn't exactly help.

You will be hurting from it all but you need to be strong for your mum and dad. After my dad went to hospital to get his chemo, he would always come home and rest, my mum would come home from work late so I would make dinner, clean the house and do things to make her worry less and make my dad feel better.

Hope everything goes well for your mum and the rest of your family, if you want to talk OP, PM me

[manchester1992]

Thanks everyone. We met with the doctor today. Its not good news. She needs to have an operation which will at best lose half her vision, and long term prognosis is poor. Things are getting hard now

[At peace]

(Original post by manchester1992)
Thanks everyone. We met with the doctor today. Its not good news. She needs to have an operation which will at best lose half her vision, and long term prognosis is poor. Things are getting hard now

Hope for the best. I don't really know you, so if you believe, pray for her. It'll give you comfort and make you strong.

I pray everything goes okay, and it turns out better than expected.

It's ramadan for us Muslims, it's a special month for us, I'll pray for you while I break my fast and ask my family too Inshaa`Allaah (Allaah's willing).

[pinkangelgirl]

I so wish, more than anything in the world, my Mum was here with me for one more day. There has never been anyone more important to me than her. I would cut my life in half just to have 1 more precious hour with her- for even 5 more minutes of her time. I wish I could tell her how sorry I am for being such a bratty child and how I love her so much.

Instead she asked me less than a week before she died what did I think about the fact she was dying. And I just sat there and said ''I dont know'' as if we were talking about the weather, because I didnt want her to know that my whole life was going to collapse without her in it.

[DoubleNegative]

My Granddad didn't have brain cancer, but he had vascular dementia. It killed me to watch him deteriorate like that since he was more like a dad to me than the one I've got. I understand that it's hard to come to terms with it, but you'll grow the strength to be able to deal with whatever life throws at you. Even though you might think you're breaking down now, you'll look back on this week and wonder how you made it through without getting into bed and never getting out again. The fact that you're talking about this now shows strength to me, and it'll keep you going for a very, very long time.
If I were you, I'd tell at least two or three people at uni, it's always useful to have them covering for you if you run out the room crying, or if you just need someone to sit with some days. I know you might not want to tell anyone right now, but trust me, it'll make uni so much easier. There's also the option of asking you uni to give you the year off, but then again, it might be a welcome distraction to do some work. It has to be your decision though, try not to be swayed by anyone else's arguments or guilt.
You also have to remember that it's early days. About three years ago, my other granddad was diagnosed with Leukaemia, but he pulled through with the right treatment, and he was well into his eighties. He'd been in remission for around a year before he passed from (unrelated) renal failure. Basically what I'm trying to say is that there's always hope. As you've said, your mother's strong, and I'm sure she'll fight as hard as she can, which can make all the difference in the end.
My best wishes go to you and your family, and I'd like you to remember that if you need help, or even just a chat, feel free to message me on here. My love to you all. Xxx

[brunettegirl92]

i'm really sorry to hear that. i have a relative that recently underwent surgery to remove cancer and we get results in a few days time.
i knew someone who had brain cancer and sadly she died. but she was an elderly lady and at first it was believed she had something else. they removed the cancer which was the size of my fist from her. she carried on for 3 years and for a while i thought she would survive - she seemed well and i was a naive child. but the cancer had 'roots' which couldn't be removed.

she may lose some of her functions, but she may also appear well. the person i knew's personality did change a bit - but in another way her personality stayed the same. the night before she slipped into a coma i was talking to her and she was the person i remembered.
you will remember all the good times, even if it is difficult now.

brain cancer is complicated because of where it is, and it is difficult to remove a lot of tissue from the area, but if your mum's has been picked up on early enough, depending on its position and grade, docors may be able to remove a fair amount of it - possibly even all of it
you must remember that some people do survive brain cancer - the statistics aren't the greatest, but there is still hope. be strong for her so she sticks to her treatment and she may pull through.

good luck xx

[Demonicham]

(Original post by manchester1992)
Thanks everyone. We met with the doctor today. Its not good news. She needs to have an operation which will at best lose half her vision, and long term prognosis is poor. Things are getting hard now

Sometimes doctor's can jump the gun a bit when it comes down to after effects of surgery. because until they can get a good look inside at the position of the tumour and whether it's operable without causing long-term damage, all they can do is estimate what's going to happen through what scan readings show.

Don't give up hope. the operation could be a complete success and she could keep all her vision. you just never can tell with these things until they do it.

[georgekwok]

Hey OP!
Keep your hopes up! We are all feeling for you! Even when the doctors and nurses seem to have no facial expression, they still have feelings and will do their very best to save your mother! They will do their best to increase both the quality and quantity of her life by all means necessary! Have faith!


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[Idle]

Hi, until you find out what stage the cancer is at then it's very hard to advise you, I am hoping for the best for you and your family. My dad passed away from lung cancer just under 12 months ago so I know how horrible it is.

[Mazzini]

I'm so sorry to hear that OP

My mum had breast cancer a few years back, although she survived but she had to have a vasectomy and then radiotherapy.

Have you considered other methods as well as conventional? There's a healer in Devon called Matthew Manning who is amazing (he helped shrink my mum's tumour loads) and it feels awesome if you're even sitting in the room! It feels like you're floating in the air

I think he has a website if you want to look him up.

I hope this helps and I hope your mum gets well soon. PM me if you want to talk

[IndyAM]

(Original post by Mazzini)
I'm so sorry to hear that OP

My mum had breast cancer a few years back, although she survived but she had to have a vasectomy and then radiotherapy.

Have you considered other methods as well as conventional? There's a healer in Devon called Matthew Manning who is amazing (he helped shrink my mum's tumour loads) and it feels awesome if you're even sitting in the room! It feels like you're floating in the air

I think he has a website if you want to look him up.

I hope this helps and I hope your mum gets well soon. PM me if you want to talk

You seriously want to send the OP's Mum to some voodoo doctor? That's Really mean!

OP, stay strong! Your mum needs you now I'm sure. Good luck!

[mohsanrabbani]

I hope your mum recovers it would be devestating news if I were in your position as your whole world must be upside down thinking about your mums health 24/7.

I would like to also say one thing and I don't mean to be rude in anyway.

Some users on this forum are mentioning god, saying pray or ask for help. For those who don't belive in god(a high %) do you always refer to god at these critical times? Do you just say his name as a sign of sympathy towards others?

[CasualSoul]

(Original post by mohsanrabbani)
I hope your mum recovers it would be devestating news if I were in your position as your whole world must be upside down thinking about your mums health 24/7.

I would like to also say one thing and I don't mean to be rude in anyway.

Some users on this forum are mentioning god, saying pray or ask for help. For those who don't belive in god(a high %) do you always refer to god at these critical times? Do you just say his name as a sign of sympathy towards others?

The people that are mentioning God genuienly do believe that he will help...they have been praying to him all their lives to they are not just saying his name for sympathy or w/e they do actually believe that he will do what is best (however the definition of 'what is best' is subjective and some non-believers may even find this contradictory.

OP, a kot of people on here have been saying how sorry they are. I agree and I am very sorry too. It is so difficult to find a positive in this situation but atleast the doctors have been able to dicpher what is wrong and hopefully they will be able to help her. I know you will be able to get through this. Just try to support your mother (as I'm sure you will be doing) and keep the family strong by supporting each other through this mutual pain you all must be feeling. I won't offer to pray for you ...as I know some people are very against that but just try to stay strong and don't be afraid to cry and talk to somebody (it would be better if they have gone through a similar experience) when you need to

[Nutty_Psychologist]

I'm more then certain your Uni would let you defer for a year, my friend was in a similar situation in our first year, her mum was dying of cancer and she defered a year, but it won't impact her degree or anything, she just re joined with the year below for second year. She said she was glad she was there when she died and in the months after with her family, then went back to Uni when she was a bit stronger. I'm sure your Uni will be fine with it.
I just pray to give you strength hun, I can't imagine how your feeling. It's the shock that grips you isn't it. I understand what you mean completely about losing her functioning, it is definately the hardest part, it was like that with my Grandad when he had Dementia. I had to stop seeing him because it would make me cry for days after I'd seen him. It was almost a relief when he passed because he wasn't in pain anymore.
God hope they find a cure for Cancer to stop putting families through this x

[ViceVersa]

I'm so sorry OP

[RK]

(Original post by manchester1992)
Thanks everyone. We met with the doctor today. Its not good news. She needs to have an operation which will at best lose half her vision, and long term prognosis is poor. Things are getting hard now

Really sorry to hear the news. Must be really tough for you.

My auntie (who is very close to my immediate family as she doesn't have any family of her own) was diagnosed with breast cancer about a week ago which has already spread to her lungs. It's not looking good for the long term, but in situations like this we need to try our hardest to stay strong for the person who is ill.

I'd strongly recommend praying as you can never underestimate the power of prayer.

Also, be there for your Mum, whether in person or being in regular contact if you're away. It might be difficult for you, but could also be even more difficult for her. I don't know how your Mum is reacting to the news, but it's difficult for us as my auntie doesn't seem to be acknowledging the cancer. She seems to be going along with follow up appointments etc, but still not talking about it. This makes it tough to know how to speak to her about it.

I hope everything works out for you and your family

[toxicdreams16]

my uncle had been diagnosed with bladder cancer today

we dont know if chemo will work or if its spread yet.

were just keeping our fingers crossed

hope ur family are ok and every one elses who are going through hard times

[Anonymous]

I know how you're feeling. Just a couple weeks ago my Nan was told that she has lung cancer, and then last week we were told that it has spread to a couple of other places. She's going to have treatment to try and keep it at bay, but they aren't going to attempt to try and cure it completely, which was a tough thing to hear.

I've never had to deal with anything like this before, somebody close to me being so ill. It came as such as shock because she was so healthy and active. She was even still working because she found retirement boring!
I've also always been close to her, growing up I was round my grandparents for as many days and nights as I was allowed! So it's been hard.

She's been a bit ill recently, but like your Mum, she's talkative and healthy looking, so it just doesn't feel real.
It's been on my mind everyday since I was told, but I just can't even begin to imagine how she's feeling which is what upsets me most, and also how my Mum is feeling.

Like you this is all quite new to me, so I can't really offer much in the way of advice. But I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in how you're feeling!
Good luck with everything! and I hope your Mum beats the illness!

[pinkangelgirl]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I know how you're feeling. Just a couple weeks ago my Nan was told that she has lung cancer, and then last week we were told that it has spread to a couple of other places. She's going to have treatment to try and keep it at bay, but they aren't going to attempt to try and cure it completely, which was a tough thing to hear.

I've never had to deal with anything like this before, somebody close to me being so ill. It came as such as shock because she was so healthy and active. She was even still working because she found retirement boring!
I've also always been close to her, growing up I was round my grandparents for as many days and nights as I was allowed! So it's been hard.

She's been a bit ill recently, but like your Mum, she's talkative and healthy looking, so it just doesn't feel real.
It's been on my mind everyday since I was told, but I just can't even begin to imagine how she's feeling which is what upsets me most, and also how my Mum is feeling.

Like you this is all quite new to me, so I can't really offer much in the way of advice. But I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in how you're feeling!
Good luck with everything! and I hope your Mum beats the illness!

sorry, Im not being mean or anything, and I am really really sorry to hear about your Nan.

But a Mum and a Nan are 2 different things entirely, which bring up completely different feelings. I was close to my Nan and was so upset when she died and distraught.

When my Mum died, my entire life died with her. I think about her every second of every day and it is a completely life changing thing to lose a Mum at a young age.

Im not trying to be rude, but it is kind of insulting when people compare the loss of a grandparent to the loss of a parent.
(Unless your grandparent brought you up)