[madders94]

(Original post by pinkangelgirl)
sorry, Im not being mean or anything, and I am really really sorry to hear about your Nan.

But a Mum and a Nan are 2 different things entirely, which bring up completely different feelings. I was close to my Nan and was so upset when she died and distraught.

When my Mum died, my entire life died with her. I think about her every second of every day and it is a completely life changing thing to lose a Mum at a young age.

Im not trying to be rude, but it is kind of insulting when people compare the loss of a grandparent to the loss of a parent.
(Unless your grandparent brought you up)

I do have to agree with this; it's not just a bit insulting but it can also be quite upsetting. When you lose someone who lived with you, you would've seen every day or near enough every day, it's life changing. Losing a grandparent is awful and devastating, but it's not the same. My brother died, and one of my old friends got annoyed at me for being sad on his birthday, she actually said "My granddad died and that's worse, and you don't see me crying". She rarely saw this granddad, and she was a bit of an attention-seeker anyway, but it can be quite upsetting when someone says "I know how you feel", when they've not been through something of that severity, another friend said it and I knew she meant well because she's lovely, but inside it still made me feel upset.

OP, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum You all need to stick together as a family more than ever now, so the only people who can advise you on what to do about uni are your family themselves - talk to them and come to a conclusion you all agree on. I hope everything goes well for your family and that any treatment they offer is a success

[Always_Right]

(Original post by Dragonfly07)
My younger brother had the very rare brain cancer medulla blastoma. He had a 20% chance to survive and he was operated on in great ormond street hospital. He's absolutely fine now except for the damage the tumour has done directly (pressure building up behind eyes from cerebrospinal fluid caused him to be blind and he has balance problems because the tumour was at the back of the brain, where the balance centre is located).

Overall though he's pretty happy.

My advice: stay positive if anything just for your mum. It can lift her mood a lot just to see you in a good mood and it makes a huge difference.

Is he still blind though?

[Dragonfly07]

(Original post by Always_Right)
Is he still blind though?

Completely blind in one eye and partially blind (tunnel vision) in the other eye.

[lukas1051]

(Original post by Venom123)
Sorry to hear that man, all I can recommend is praying for her daily. You can never underestimate the power of what God can do. I wish her all the best.

I realise you're only trying to be comforting, but I find that incredibly insulting. I know someone who had a malignant brain tumour, and her life was saved and the cancer eradicated due to a team of medical professionals, not an invisible man in the sky. Comments like that really devalue the wonderful work these doctors and scientists do.

OP I really cannot imagine what you are going through. I do not know the circumstances of the cancer, so these words may not help, but people can overcome brain cancer, as I said previously, I know a young girl who was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour, and after a lot of treatment, they managed to completely rid her of the cancer and she is now making a very good recovery. I won't beat around the bush, the odds are probably low, especially in an older person, but if this gives you a shred of hope to cling on to then that's better than nothing.

[GR3YFOXXX]

My Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. By the time of diagnosis there were a few secondaries. It's absolutely devastating. He hasn't had any serious treatment, radiotherapy on one secondary in the bone and one dose of chemo a few weeks back. I really hope your Mum's cancer is treatable.

I definitely agree with the idea that you should stay strong for your Mum and keep life as normal as possible all too many people will treat her like a victim. Just try and keep your chin up for your mums sake.

[Always_Right]

(Original post by Dragonfly07)
Completely blind in one eye and partially blind (tunnel vision) in the other eye.

Sorry to hear

[Venom123]

(Original post by lukas1051)
I realise you're only trying to be comforting, but I find that incredibly insulting. I know someone who had a malignant brain tumour, and her life was saved and the cancer eradicated due to a team of medical professionals, not an invisible man in the sky. Comments like that really devalue the wonderful work these doctors and scientists do.

OP I really cannot imagine what you are going through. I do not know the circumstances of the cancer, so these words may not help, but people can overcome brain cancer, as I said previously, I know a young girl who was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour, and after a lot of treatment, they managed to completely rid her of the cancer and she is now making a very good recovery. I won't beat around the bush, the odds are probably low, especially in an older person, but if this gives you a shred of hope to cling on to then that's better than nothing.

If anything religion can provided a sense of belief that all will be fine. Any idiot knows the extreme hardwork of specialists it goes without saying.

God forbid that one of the specialists make a mistake during a procedure, you have that 'sense' of assurance that you've also out this in God's hands.

If you don't believe, you don't believe. There's nothing I can do about that.

[Mazzini]

(Original post by IndyAM)
You seriously want to send the OP's Mum to some voodoo doctor? That's Really mean!

He's not a "voodoo doctor".

1) I said that she should try him as well as going the conventional way. Not instead of.

2) Read some of the reviews about his work.

(Original post by IndyAM)
x

Negged me, have we?

[pinkangelgirl]

(Original post by madders94)
I do have to agree with this; it's not just a bit insulting but it can also be quite upsetting. When you lose someone who lived with you, you would've seen every day or near enough every day, it's life changing. Losing a grandparent is awful and devastating, but it's not the same. My brother died, and one of my old friends got annoyed at me for being sad on his birthday, she actually said "My granddad died and that's worse, and you don't see me crying". She rarely saw this granddad, and she was a bit of an attention-seeker anyway, but it can be quite upsetting when someone says "I know how you feel", when they've not been through something of that severity, another friend said it and I knew she meant well because she's lovely, but inside it still made me feel upset.

OP, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum You all need to stick together as a family more than ever now, so the only people who can advise you on what to do about uni are your family themselves - talk to them and come to a conclusion you all agree on. I hope everything goes well for your family and that any treatment they offer is a success

Yeh its really upsetting. I know people are just trying to be nice and supportive, but if anything, saying ''I know how you feel, my Nan died of cancer'' Its really difficult to take them seriously, because my Mum was my best friend, she put her children before anything, I was with her every single day for 19 years. Totally different to a Nan.

Losing a sibling or a parent or your own child, or someone who has brought you up has got to be the most devastating thing to anyone.

[madders94]

(Original post by Mazzini)
He's not a "voodoo doctor".

1) I said that she should try him as well as going the conventional way. Not instead of.

2) Read some of the reviews about his work.

I'd +rep you if I could. There's nothing wrong with suggesting people try other treatments, especially when experience has shown that it can work. Besides, even if it doesn't physically change anything, if it makes the patient feel better, surely it's worth it.

[SFeet]

Literally started crying after I read the title. I lost one of my uncles to cancer. Really do hope your mother wins the battle with cancer.

[...mo...]

Keep hope, keep praying and just be strong.

[suffocation1992]

(Original post by manchester1992)
So in the last week I feel like my life has been up turned upside down. Over 7 days my mum has gone from being completely fine and normal to being diagnosed with serious brain cancer. We are meeting with the consultant tomorrow to discuss any possible treatment options.

Honestly, this week has been so damned tough I cant stand the fact that she seems completely normal to talk to, and I feel like she has been given a death sentence. Its been so tough on my whole family, ive never seen my dad cry before, and i've found it so heart breaking.

Reading other posts and forums online, it seems quite common for people with brain tumours to mentally decline as time progresses. As terrible as this sounds, i can nearly come to terms with her passing, but the thought of her loosing function of her body and thoughts, after being such a strong woman makes me breakdown in tears.

While i know i need to concentrate on the positives, its just so damned hard

Im due to return to manchester for uni in September, and I have no idea what I am to do!

If anyone has been in a similar situation it would be good to hear from you

Thanks

I am really, really sorry to hear this. This must be really hard for you, but you will be brave and it sounds like you are a great son, so she must be very lucky to have you. Make the most of the rest of the summer with your mom, and as for university in September, if your family need you or you don't feel like you can return, then speak to your faculty and you could get some time out. You just have to think about family right now. I remember getting some really, really awful news during my first year about a loved one and I mentally blacked it out until exams were over, after which I was just a wreck, so never a good idea to 'shelve' these things.

Take care of yourself and be strong. Bad times do pass, I can promise you, I bet you have lots of friends and family to support you at this time!

[TheJ0ker]

(Original post by lukas1051)
I realise you're only trying to be comforting, but I find that incredibly insulting. I know someone who had a malignant brain tumour, and her life was saved and the cancer eradicated due to a team of medical professionals, not an invisible man in the sky. Comments like that really devalue the wonderful work these doctors and scientists do.

OP I really cannot imagine what you are going through. I do not know the circumstances of the cancer, so these words may not help, but people can overcome brain cancer, as I said previously, I know a young girl who was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour, and after a lot of treatment, they managed to completely rid her of the cancer and she is now making a very good recovery. I won't beat around the bush, the odds are probably low, especially in an older person, but if this gives you a shred of hope to cling on to then that's better than nothing.

(Original post by Venom123)
If anything religion can provided a sense of belief that all will be fine. Any idiot knows the extreme hardwork of specialists it goes without saying.

God forbid that one of the specialists make a mistake during a procedure, you have that 'sense' of assurance that you've also out this in God's hands.

If you don't believe, you don't believe. There's nothing I can do about that.

I have to say I agree with Venom here (I am very much an atheist). One one of the most important things you can do it to be strong for the person in question and praying can be comforting in a situation like this no matter if you believe which can help to keep you strong. I don't really understand how you can think it's "insulting" to pray for someone with good intentions

[Lil08]

I am so sorry. I hope she gets better soon. Stay strong as your mum would need that kind of support from you. I cant imagine whats going through your mums head. I've had an aunt that passed away from breast cancer and I've also worked with a charity that help support cancer suferrers. It's terrible and I pray to God it doesn't happen to anyone.

[xoxAngel_Kxox]

I'm sorry to hear this. I found out that two people quite close to me but not immediate family have cancer this week so I can have at least a small amount of empathy for you. I don't know what to say to make you feel better, I know deep down there's nothing I can say.

The only advice that I can give you is to get as much information as you possibly can from doctors etc. You want to feel as "in control" as you possibly can, and getting lots of info about treatment, likely progression etc as you can get will help you a lot. Try not to Google. I know I'm probably too late in saying this, but you'll only scare yourself. Try to take lots of time to be with your Mum, plan things to do as a family for as long as she's able (as she'll likely be tired during treatment) and be there to talk whenever she needs you. Make use of your friends for you to offload on, as you'll need to.

If you want to talk, feel free to PM me, any time. I can't really say much, but it does help to talk.

I send you lots of love and millions of hugs! ♥

[Codecharacter]

I'm sorry to here that . My dad was diagnosed with colon cancer about 5 years ago now, he had his operation and treatments and is still getting checkups, and he's doing incredibly well. So don't give up hope!

[badcheesecrispy]

Why is the first post negged ? There are some serious heartless trolls on this forum

[Vikki1805]

Really sorry to hear about this OP, I wish you all the best and the very best for your Mum.

Try to keep strong, not only for your sake and your family's sake, but for your Mums sake.

Finding out someone close to you has cancer is an awful thing, because it makes you feel so helpless and useless, but (and I know this sounds almost impossible) if your Mum says she wants you to go back to Uni and carry on as normal, then do it, because you wouldn't believe how proud your Mum will be of you and thinking of that will help put a smile on her face each day.

I wish you the very best, and if you ever feel like screaming or just chatting message a friend or you are welcome to message me, talking helps.

Good luck to your Mum! X

[Mazzini]

(Original post by madders94)
I'd +rep you if I could. There's nothing wrong with suggesting people try other treatments, especially when experience has shown that it can work. Besides, even if it doesn't physically change anything, if it makes the patient feel better, surely it's worth it.

Thanks

Yeah, exactly. You may as well attack it from all angles.

There's a guy who lives not very far from me with terminal cancer of some sort (I can't remember which type ) but he's lived past about six months after he was supposed to die, according to the doctors. He's been participating in lots of drug trials too but he's tried all sorts of methods besides conventional.