[Anonymous]

I am a 30yr old man, who works part-time whilst studying in Asda.

I have had my credibility ruined over the years by a girl who is 20yr old who had always fancied me from the beginning. She is very...slow and autistic, but not of the serious kind. She can still pass as 'reasonably normal' despite being slow.

She has a mind of her own, and lives in her own little world. The first time I saw her at work was on her first day about 4 years ago, and I was one of the first people to speak to her. I presume this is why she has clung onto me down the years.

But it is really pissing me off now. I am becoming very depressed because I realise there is no end to her obsession with me. She always talks about me (positive or negative) to other people at work, who have a field day in creating the rumours and encouraging her to become more obsessed. She has no idea she is being played for a fool as much as I am.

I positively HATE this girl, she knows I have a girlfriend, yet is too oblivious to work things out for herself.

I am becoming to bear a grudge at work now, because I make no secret of the fact that i want her sacked, as she is lazy anyway and never pulls her weight. This conclusion would be better for me than if I left work myself.

Tonight in contemplation I Googled stalking to read up on the issue and try to educate myself as to why people may do it.

Please what are your opinions?

[FinnLassie]

Have you talked about this issue with your boss? Are you already doing different shifts as her? I haven't been in a situation like this, but it might help a little if you didn't work at the same time at all. It's a problem though that she keeps on talking about you to other workmates. Only advice I can give is that go to your boss and express how disturbed depressed you have become due to this problem.

Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

I am the OP

I read that letting a stalker know where they stand firmly, and then ignore contact with them thereafter is the way to deal with them.

However, how do I make it obviious that I am not interested?

Sometimes I ignore this girl and refuse to speak to her, but that kinda backfires because she goes around the store telling people "He isn't speaking to me anymore", like someone has just killed her mum or something!

[1183572557]

I think you need to take into consideration that this girl may have some psychological problems, which does not justify her behaviour, but does warrant more understanding, and may help you in dealing with the situation more effectively.
The fact that others are encouraging her, and that she seems to be influenced by this, and unaware of the running joke among her coworkers shows that she might be being taken advantage of as a result of her not understanding the situation.

For her sake, and for yours, it would be best to take this up with you manager/boss or support staff at work. You could both use some support and guidance, even if you think you can handle this on your own, it might be interesting to see what they say.

[Battenberg]

(Original post by Anonymous)
She is very...slow and autistic, but not of the serious kind. She can still pass as 'reasonably normal' despite being slow.

Negged for contrasting autism against being normal, it implies people who have autism are not normal which can easily be construed as being offensive or insulting (just telling you because I hate when people neg out of the blue and then don't give a valid reason).

EDIT: can one of the people negging me please tell me why I am being negged for this, I'm genuinely curious what about this post has annoyed 6 7 people so much

[A Cat]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I am a 30yr old man, who works part-time whilst studying in Asda.

I have had my credibility ruined over the years by a girl who is 20yr old who had always fancied me from the beginning. She is very...slow and autistic, but not of the serious kind. She can still pass as 'reasonably normal' despite being slow.

She has a mind of her own, and lives in her own little world. The first time I saw her at work was on her first day about 4 years ago, and I was one of the first people to speak to her. I presume this is why she has clung onto me down the years.

But it is really pissing me off now. I am becoming very depressed because I realise there is no end to her obsession with me. She always talks about me (positive or negative) to other people at work, who have a field day in creating the rumours and encouraging her to become more obsessed. She has no idea she is being played for a fool as much as I am.

I positively HATE this girl, she knows I have a girlfriend, yet is too oblivious to work things out for herself.

I am becoming to bear a grudge at work now, because I make no secret of the fact that i want her sacked, as she is lazy anyway and never pulls her weight. This conclusion would be better for me than if I left work myself.

Tonight in contemplation I Googled stalking to read up on the issue and try to educate myself as to why people may do it.

Please what are your opinions?

Might it be that your stalker is a psychopath?

pm me if you like

[1183572557]

(Original post by Samrout)
Might it be that your stalker is a psychopath?

pm me if you like

Samrout - not sure why you keep suggesting to people that people may be psychopaths on various threads, I feel like maybe you should do a little bit more research on it yourself as psychopaths are not exactly how movie's portray them and it's not a give and end all response.. please look into it more before suggesting a diagnosis like this to people. The DSM has never listed psychopathy as the official term for a personality disorder - and it's not something anyone is born with.

[A Cat]

(Original post by 1183572557)
Samrout - not sure why you keep suggesting to people that people may be psychopaths on various threads, I feel like maybe you should do a little bit more research on it yourself as psychopaths are not exactly how movie's portray them and it's not a give and end all response.. please look into it more before suggesting a diagnosis like this to people. The DSM has never listed psychopathy as the official term for a personality disorder - and it's not something anyone is born with.

ever had experience with one? And just because they aren't in the DSM doesn't mean they do not exist (I believe they are a subset of ASPD). You do not need the system to tell you what is reality and what isn't.

[1183572557]

(Original post by Samrout)
ever had experience with one? And just because they aren't in the DSM doesn't mean they do not exist (I believe they are a subset of ASPD). You do not need the system to tell you what is reality and what isn't.

I have had experience with individuals that others have called a psychopath, yes, we work with them in a clinical setting.

I feel you are too quick to call someone a psychopath from such a brief and one-sided story about someone.
All such individuals tend to have developed their personality traits as a result of traumatic incidents or difficult upbringing, and without meeting them, hearing their sides, etc, you shouldn't be so quick to give a diagnosis.

[A Cat]

(Original post by 1183572557)
I have had experience with individuals that others have called a psychopath, yes, we work with them in a clinical setting.

I feel you are too quick to call someone a psychopath from such a brief and one-sided story about someone.
All such individuals tend to have developed their personality traits as a result of traumatic incidents or difficult upbringing, and without meeting them, hearing their sides, etc, you shouldn't be so quick to give a diagnosis.

I appreciate your point of view. The reason I often comment (and yes, early and with lack of information) is because psychopathic actions are very distinguishable from the norm, and it is a relatively unknown topic. While they give the appearance of normalcy, their actions suggest otherwise, and I believe that the confusion and anxiety they generate prompts some users to create threads asking for advice.

Secondly... There have been a lot of conflicting arguments regarding the origin of psychopathy. Some say oxygen deprivation at birth, or genetics, or trauma as a child (which the subject of the 'child of rage' video goes on to be cured!). There are many psychopaths who have had normal upbringings. It is a constant 1% throughout all sectors of society.

edit: Out of interest, what kind of work do you do?

edit 2: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=2102396