[jamboogy]

I was dreaming away as usual this morning, just lying on my side, when I woke up to see a ****ing huge spider struttin' his stuff right next to my head.

Now, I absolutely despise spiders; they are grim and disgusting. Due to this fear and disgust for the creatures, I jumped out of bed and stared in its direction. I tried to make out the spider (I'm -3.0 in both eyes) but all I could see was a dark blur which I assumed was the spider. I can't kill spiders to save my life unless it's tiny.

The spider did not give a **** at all. He was just chilling, then walked off to god knows where. It's probably still in my room as I'm typing this out.

I've effectively been made the spider's bitch. Emasculated. I feel like a pussy. Completely emasculated by an organism hundreds of times smaller than I am. For all we know it could be bragging to his little friends, the little ****.

Now, I've come to the conclusion that the only way to retain some dignity is to **** its **** up. I'm going to find it, and I am going to kill it.

TSR - riddle me this. How does one go about drawing a spider out and consequently trap it for the killing that will ensue?

EDIT: Has anyone had any experience with using sugar water to draw a spider out of its hole?

[The Polymath]

(Original post by jamboogy)
I was dreaming away as usual this morning, just lying on my side, when I woke up to see a ****ing huge spider struttin' his stuff right next to my head.

Now, I absolutely despise spiders; they are grim and disgusting. Due to this fear and disgust for the creatures, I jumped out of bed and stared in its direction. I tried to make out the spider (I'm -3.0 in both eyes) but all I could see was a dark blur which I assumed was the spider. I can't kill spiders to save my life unless it's tiny.

The spider did not give a **** at all. He was just chilling, then walked off to god knows where. It's probably still in my room as I'm typing this out.

I've effectively been made the spider's bitch. Emasculated. I feel like a pussy. Completely emasculated by an organism hundreds of times smaller than I am. For all we know it could be bragging to his little friends, the little ****.

Now, I've come to the conclusion that the only way to retain some dignity is to **** its **** up. I'm going to find it, and I am going to kill it.

TSR - riddle me this. How does one go about drawing a spider out and consequently trap it for the killing that will ensue?

You can take your house apart brick by brick, meticulously checking each stone for a spider, and disposing of the bricks in a vacuum chamber otherwise uncontaminated by such vermin. It is inevitable, then, that you will eventually meet your foe, confront him, and vanquish him (or her, for killing a lady is but a means to an end ) in the name of all that is good in the world.

</poshtone> Just throw them outside?

[the_alba]

(Original post by jamboogy)
I was dreaming away as usual this morning, just lying on my side, when I woke up to see a ****ing huge spider struttin' his stuff right next to my head.

Now, I absolutely despise spiders; they are grim and disgusting. Due to this fear and disgust for the creatures, I jumped out of bed and stared in its direction. I tried to make out the spider (I'm -3.0 in both eyes) but all I could see was a dark blur which I assumed was the spider. I can't kill spiders to save my life unless it's tiny.

The spider did not give a **** at all. He was just chilling, then walked off to god knows where. It's probably still in my room as I'm typing this out.

I've effectively been made the spider's bitch. Emasculated. I feel like a pussy. Completely emasculated by an organism hundreds of times smaller than I am. For all we know it could be bragging to his little friends, the little ****.

Now, I've come to the conclusion that the only way to retain some dignity is to **** its **** up. I'm going to find it, and I am going to kill it.

TSR - riddle me this. How does one go about drawing a spider out and consequently trap it for the killing that will ensue?

I think this important document will help you out of this situation. It also contains instructional advice about efficient spider-killing techniques (for instance, don't try to stab it; this is inefficient).

Maybe by trying to kill it though, you're just giving the spider what it wants? You're rising to its bait. If I were you, I wouldn't give that spider the satisfaction.

[lukas1051]

Leave the little guy alone, he's only minding his own business

[Converse Rocker]

To be honest he's probably gone onto the arachnid version of TSR (The Spider Room) and typed out a similar thing. The thing probably crapped itself when it saw you move

I wouldn't worry about it, it will probably be chilling in a wall somewhere and then will hopefully make its way outside. I find the dustpan and brush to be good for spiders I don't fancy catching with a tissue, or even bare hands if I'm feeling like a total badman. I know, call me crazy.

[jamboogy]

(Original post by Junaid96)
You can take your house apart brick by brick, meticulously checking each stone for a spider, and disposing of the bricks in a vacuum chamber otherwise uncontaminated by such vermin. It is inevitable, then, that you will eventually meet your foe, confront him, and vanquish him (or her, for killing a lady is but a means to an end ) in the name of all that is good in the world.

</poshtone> Just throw them outside?

Ha I think I'd rather sort out this one rather than discover another hundred lying in the depths of my house.

(Original post by the_alba)
I think this important document will help you out of this situation. It also contains instructional advice about efficient spider-killing techniques (for instance, don't try to stab it; this is inefficient).

Maybe by trying to kill it though, you're just giving the spider what it wants? You're rising to its bait. If I were you, I wouldn't give that spider the satisfaction.

I don't think the spider wants to die, but I'm afraid that's what is has come down to. It took me like 30 minutes to go back to sleep, and it didn't help that I would think that there was something on me when it was just my brain trolling me. That blog post was hilarious though haha. I'm sorry, but you'd have to have unbelievable tekkers to stab a spider?

(Original post by lukas1051)
Leave the little guy alone, he's only minding his own business

You mess with the bull, you get the horns. I show no compassion... unless it's a corgi.

(Original post by Converse Rocker)
To be honest he's probably gone onto the arachnid version of TSR (The Spider Room) and typed out a similar thing. The thing probably crapped itself when it saw you move

I wouldn't worry about it, it will probably be chilling in a wall somewhere and then will hopefully make its way outside. I find the dustpan and brush to be good for spiders I don't fancy catching with a tissue, or even bare hands if I'm feeling like a total badman. I know, call me crazy.

Haha The Spider Room, couldn't have been set up better. When you dustpan and brush it, doesn't the spider run around like crazy? A while ago I had one on a piece of paper but flailed my arms around like Zoidberg and dropped it when it started running around.

Can spiders climb up things without making a web? I don't want it crawling up my bed .

[YB101]

you de realise that if you find ONE tiny spider, the rest of the family is in some corner of the room right?

[Hugues*]

I had an encounter with a spider in the bathroom the other day, I left it as it was like 10 meters away from my bedroom so I thought it would be fine, but within 20 seconds, it had made it's way from the bathroom to middle of the hallway, it was frickin' following me! I thought it was time to take action, so I grabbed this ornamental stick/log thing and tried to batter the **** out of it, but it got away - a chase ensued and it got itself into a tight spot where I managed to get it with the pointy end. There's my tragic story, thanks for listening.

The conclusion, grab whatever is closest and go ape **** on it until it is in 5 pieces, if it's in the bed, take everything off the bed slowly until it is found, proceed to go Rambo on it's ass.

[benjaminben]

I find hairspray is the best method. Immobilise the ****er by sticking it's legs together with the spray (I recommend Treseme in the white bottle) and then throw it out the window.

[lilabs]

Oh god, spiders! I scream like a little girl when one moves, it's hilarious.
Although the way you wrote it made me laugh, they are creepy, especially when they're big ones.
We have at least two big ones in my house, one of which has made huge webs right above my bed.

I'm not the best at killing them, so I just get a jug or a cup and cover them, then let my brother get it out haha. Never squished one though, I couldn't do it when they're big! Some do just die if they're completely covered though!

[lilabs]

(Original post by jamboogy)
Can spiders climb up things without making a web? I don't want it crawling up my bed .

Well, think how he got there in the first place

[jamboogy]

(Original post by YB101)
you de realise that if you find ONE tiny spider, the rest of the family is in some corner of the room right?

Da***?! Arghhhh

(Original post by Hugues*)
I had an encounter with a spider in the bathroom the other day, I left it as it was like 10 meters away from my bedroom so I thought it would be fine, but within 20 seconds, it had made it's way from the bathroom to middle of the hallway, it was frickin' following me! I thought it was time to take action, so I grabbed this ornamental stick/log thing and tried to batter the **** out of it, but it got away - a chase ensued and it got itself into a tight spot where I managed to get it with the pointy end. There's my tragic story, thanks for listening.

The conclusion, grab whatever is closest and go ape **** on it until it is in 5 pieces, if it's in the bed, take everything off the bed slowly until it is found, proceed to go Rambo on it's ass.

Haha unfortunately I'm not lucky enough to have the spider follow me around; finding it and bashing the **** out of it would be a lot easier if this was the case.

(Original post by benjaminben)
I find hairspray is the best method. Immobilise the ****er by sticking it's legs together with the spray (I recommend Treseme in the white bottle) and then throw it out the window.

That sounds hilariously brutal. Definitely gonna consider trying that out.

[Hugues*]

Yes, spiders can climb up almost any material (expect polished glass). It can crawl anywhere it wants in and around the bed. Sleep tight.

[beepbeeprichie]

This thread is great. Spiders are ****ing scary.

[Annie72]

There was a mahoosive spider in our bathroom last week, seriously it was like a mini tarantula.Dont know where he/she crawled off to, but havent seen it since.

Spiders never have bothered me, if I see one I just scoop it up in to a cup and carefully put it outside.

[jamboogy]

(Original post by lilabs)
Well, think how he got there in the first place

Ehhhhhhhhh I asked my 23 year old brother (sleeps in same room) to sort it out for me. He was half asleep, but he got up, however by the time he got a tissue etc. to obliterate it, the little bugger had already run off to god knows where.

(Original post by Hugues*)
Yes, spiders can climb up almost any material (expect polished glass). It can crawl anywhere it wants in and around the bed. Sleep tight.

Well I guess I'm off to purchase a polished glass bed. Took me ages to go to back to sleep... with the thought that it could be in my proximity... waiting to make me look like more of a pussy... **** you .

(Original post by Annie72)
There was a mahoosive spider in our bathroom last week, seriously it was like a mini tarantula.Dont know where he/she crawled off to, but havent seen it since.

Spiders never have bothered me, if I see one I just scoop it up in to a cup and carefully put it outside.

How the hell do you remain rational? I just go mental, and by mental I mean scream and jump around, which doesn't solve a thing at all.

[RtGOAT]

Catch it in a tissue and flush it down the toilet. Personally I like to pee on them before flushing.

[jamboogy]

(Original post by RtGOAT)
Catch it in a tissue and flush it down the toilet. Personally I like to pee on them before flushing.

Incapable/too much of a pussy/need to find it or lure it out first

[VeggieGirl]

But spiders are beautiful creatures! Don't kill the poor guy he's gonna be more scared of you than you are of him

Peace and love to all fellow arachnids and other invertebrates

[Hugues*]

(Original post by RtGOAT)
I like to pee on them before flushing.

Now that's just weird.