[Anonymous]

I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced this and if I should be worried or see a doctor, actually feel rather silly asking.

I've been sexually active for about 5 years (don't know if this is relevant, but I lost my virginity at 14, but didn't start having regular sex until I was about 16) I'm 21 now and I often get comments about how tight I am.

My new boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for a few weeks and he's convinced that I was a virgin before meeting him, we have sex once or twice in the evening, but in the morning if we decide to it really really hurts me, I have never experienced this amount of pain from morning sex in the past and I'm getting a bit worried, he isn't particularly "large" down there, possibly even smaller than average, but it kind of feels like he is very big because I'm so tight, it gets very painful.

Could there be something wrong with me? He thinks it's because I'm really short and petite but I'm getting worried that there could be something else? Should I see a doctor? It's just so embarrassing!

[yennibubs]

Firstly, are you well lubricated when you have sex??

[Anonymous]

(Original post by yennibubs)
Firstly, are you well lubricated when you have sex??

Well I would think so, I've never used any specific lubricants but I get wet quite quickly and we always have foreplay for quite a while before which doesn't hurt me at all, I just don't know why I'm like this because I'm not nervous or anything. It's strange.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced this and if I should be worried or see a doctor, actually feel rather silly asking.

I've been sexually active for about 5 years (don't know if this is relevant, but I lost my virginity at 14, but didn't start having regular sex until I was about 16) I'm 21 now and I often get comments about how tight I am.

My new boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for a few weeks and he's convinced that I was a virgin before meeting him, we have sex once or twice in the evening, but in the morning if we decide to it really really hurts me, I have never experienced this amount of pain from morning sex in the past and I'm getting a bit worried, he isn't particularly "large" down there, possibly even smaller than average, but it kind of feels like he is very big because I'm so tight, it gets very painful.

Could there be something wrong with me? He thinks it's because I'm really short and petite but I'm getting worried that there could be something else? Should I see a doctor? It's just so embarrassing!

I am EXACTLY the same, I feel quite relieved to have found someone like me! I have been sexually active for 6 years (I'm 24) and pretty much every time hurts as much as my first time, I literally have to psych myself up for the pain - if i'm having it regularly the pain slowly subsides but I still have to use LOADS of lube. I have been with guys who are like "are you sure you're not a virgin?" haha, it's weird to have to convince someone you've had sex before. I don't know what it is, it's almost like my vagina shrinks if I'm not having sex on a regular basis. Oh and having it more than once in the space of 24hrs is impossible!

[lilabs]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I am EXACTLY the same, I feel quite relieved to have found someone like me! I have been sexually active for 6 years (I'm 24) and pretty much every time hurts as much as my first time, I literally have to psych myself up for the pain - if i'm having it regularly the pain slowly subsides but I still have to use LOADS of lube. I have been with guys who are like "are you sure you're not a virgin?" haha, it's weird to have to convince someone you've had sex before. I don't know what it is, it's almost like my vagina shrinks if I'm not having sex on a regular basis. Oh and having it more than once in the space of 24hrs is impossible!

(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced this and if I should be worried or see a doctor, actually feel rather silly asking.

I've been sexually active for about 5 years (don't know if this is relevant, but I lost my virginity at 14, but didn't start having regular sex until I was about 16) I'm 21 now and I often get comments about how tight I am.

My new boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for a few weeks and he's convinced that I was a virgin before meeting him, we have sex once or twice in the evening, but in the morning if we decide to it really really hurts me, I have never experienced this amount of pain from morning sex in the past and I'm getting a bit worried, he isn't particularly "large" down there, possibly even smaller than average, but it kind of feels like he is very big because I'm so tight, it gets very painful.

Could there be something wrong with me? He thinks it's because I'm really short and petite but I'm getting worried that there could be something else? Should I see a doctor? It's just so embarrassing!

I'm the same too! I'm very tight and sex does hurt. I'm short, 5 foot 1 to be exact. I've had the comments about it being because I'm small before, but I don't think it's down to that.

I've taken to using dildo's and things to 'open me up' and get my body used to the stretching. It's painful at first, but it becomes easier. That's the only thing I can advise. Have you every teared from sex? This was a frequent problem for me, I found that doing perennial stretching massages helps. I would agree with the other poster and say that lube does ease it all up a bit, I never have sex without it now.
I don't really think there's anything wrong with you, or me. I would suggest you go ask your doctor, I've been, and she examined me and said well, your just tight! But maybe there's a reason why you are, you never know. it wont hurt to go to the doctors
Other than that, give your body as regular 'use' as you can, even if you only have to use your fingers at first to avoid pain. It will get better.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I am EXACTLY the same, I feel quite relieved to have found someone like me! I have been sexually active for 6 years (I'm 24) and pretty much every time hurts as much as my first time, I literally have to psych myself up for the pain - if i'm having it regularly the pain slowly subsides but I still have to use LOADS of lube. I have been with guys who are like "are you sure you're not a virgin?" haha, it's weird to have to convince someone you've had sex before. I don't know what it is, it's almost like my vagina shrinks if I'm not having sex on a regular basis. Oh and having it more than once in the space of 24hrs is impossible!

Oh wow, yeah i'm relieved too! I'm slightly different, like I can have sex maybe twice in 24hrs but the third time is absolute agony, but i'm really sure I didn't used to be like this.. it just seems so odd! Maybe i'll try using lube, but i've never really felt like i've needed it, very confusing!

The weird thing is though, about a month before me and my boyfriend got together I slept with someone who was a hell of a lot bigger than my boyfriend and didn't have any pain.. seriously he must of been twice as big, but then again we only did it once and I think he was quite careful with me and was saying how tight I was.

But omg yeah the virgin thing is so annoying haha, not that i'd be embarassed to be a virgin, I really wouldn't care but he just seems so proud of it

Anyway I don't know because I haven't felt nervous as such with my new boyf, but the 'bigger' guy i've been friends with for a long time and I really trust him so maybe we're kind of subconsciously nervous? I just don't know. I have heard of people going a bit like that when they're nervous? hmm...

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh wow, yeah i'm relieved too! I'm slightly different, like I can have sex maybe twice in 24hrs but the third time is absolute agony, but i'm really sure I didn't used to be like this.. it just seems so odd! Maybe i'll try using lube, but i've never really felt like i've needed it, very confusing!

The weird thing is though, about a month before me and my boyfriend got together I slept with someone who was a hell of a lot bigger than my boyfriend and didn't have any pain.. seriously he must of been twice as big, but then again we only did it once and I think he was quite careful with me and was saying how tight I was.

But omg yeah the virgin thing is so annoying haha, not that i'd be embarassed to be a virgin, I really wouldn't care but he just seems so proud of it

Anyway I don't know because I haven't felt nervous as such with my new boyf, but the 'bigger' guy i've been friends with for a long time and I really trust him so maybe we're kind of subconsciously nervous? I just don't know. I have heard of people going a bit like that when they're nervous? hmm...

Hmmm, yeah that is weird that you never used to be like that. I've always had it with everyone i've been with from long term boyfriends to drunken one nighters so I doubt mine is from the same cause as yours. I'd say yours was maybe more psychological? Perhaps you are nervous without knowing it, or worried about pain? Or perhaps the shape of his penis just doesn't fit well into you? (regardless of size)....

[Anonymous]

(Original post by lilabs)
I'm the same too! I'm very tight and sex does hurt. I'm short, 5 foot 1 to be exact. I've had the comments about it being because I'm small before, but I don't think it's down to that.

I've taken to using dildo's and things to 'open me up' and get my body used to the stretching. It's painful at first, but it becomes easier. That's the only thing I can advise. Have you every teared from sex? This was a frequent problem for me, I found that doing perennial stretching massages helps. I would agree with the other poster and say that lube does ease it all up a bit, I never have sex without it now.
I don't really think there's anything wrong with you, or me. I would suggest you go ask your doctor, I've been, and she examined me and said well, your just tight! But maybe there's a reason why you are, you never know. it wont hurt to go to the doctors
Other than that, give your body as regular 'use' as you can, even if you only have to use your fingers at first to avoid pain. It will get better.

Hmm maybe i'll try that. The thing i'm so confused about is though, I really would say that i'm quite experienced and have been with 'bigger' guys than my boyfriend so he should be pretty painless really.. it sounds horrible but he's slept with a girl who is younger than me and says she's like a bucket compared to me..yeah niceee image, so I just thought I wouldn't be like this at this age.

No I don't think i've ever teared before, sounds painful though! I think I will try the lube just to see what it's like! Last week I had an sti test which all came back fine, I should of said something really but I just find it really embarassing. The nurse kind of looks at you 'down there' so hopefully she would of noticed if something was wrong...

One other thing (seriously can't believe i'm saying all this - thank god for anon haha!) is we've been doing some quite complex positions, my legs were aching for ages from being kind of held like that for ages so maybe this position i'm not used to is making me sore, but it still doesn't really explain the tightness..

Thanks for the advice anyway, was really useful, if I ever have the guts to buy a dildo to help, do I buy a small one or ...? haha!

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Hmmm, yeah that is weird that you never used to be like that. I've always had it with everyone i've been with from long term boyfriends to drunken one nighters so I doubt mine is from the same cause as yours. I'd say yours was maybe more psychological? Perhaps you are nervous without knowing it, or worried about pain? Or perhaps the shape of his penis just doesn't fit well into you? (regardless of size)....

Yeah you definitely could be right! Thankyou I think I have always been tight but maybe the nervousness is making it worse so it's making me sore.. I don't think it's the sex that makes me nervous, but I do have my doubts whether I should actually be with this guy, I feel really ugly compared to him haha and he's a bit of a player.. well used to be but we'll see..

Could be just me not trusting him as much, he's like the biggest chance i've ever took with a guy because I know what he's like, but I can't help liking him.

It's just weird though because when we're doing it I don't really feel any nerves or anything.. can't get my head around it!

[lilabs]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Hmm maybe i'll try that. The thing i'm so confused about is though, I really would say that i'm quite experienced and have been with 'bigger' guys than my boyfriend so he should be pretty painless really.. it sounds horrible but he's slept with a girl who is younger than me and says she's like a bucket compared to me..yeah niceee image, so I just thought I wouldn't be like this at this age.

No I don't think i've ever teared before, sounds painful though! I think I will try the lube just to see what it's like! Last week I had an sti test which all came back fine, I should of said something really but I just find it really embarassing. The nurse kind of looks at you 'down there' so hopefully she would of noticed if something was wrong...

One other thing (seriously can't believe i'm saying all this - thank god for anon haha!) is we've been doing some quite complex positions, my legs were aching for ages from being kind of held like that for ages so maybe this position i'm not used to is making me sore, but it still doesn't really explain the tightness..

Thanks for the advice anyway, was really useful, if I ever have the guts to buy a dildo to help, do I buy a small one or ...? haha!

I'm very happy to help You're probably okay with starting at an average, I have a rabbit, it's not huge, it's not small. Does it hurt with your fingers? If not, a normal size would be fine

Hehe, yes that probably would have some affect, some positions all my muscles are tight in, which of course extends to the pelvic floor muscles, which makes me tight (you know when you squeeze down there, them). You could be tensing them in certain positions, which would make you tighter and sore.

It is odd that you are in pain now when it's not your first time, but then I think some people are like that. I've had a lot of sex, but that doesn't mean if I haven't had it in a while im not sore! Some of us are just tight and that's that. I would just try with the regular 'stretching' to help ease you open, so to speak.

Also just to say, if you don't want to buy a dildo, then there are other things to use. I would say what these things are, but some people would probably faint if they read it hahaha. PM me if you're curious to know, chances are you can be in inventive yourself around the house.

[lilabs]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah you definitely could be right! Thankyou I think I have always been tight but maybe the nervousness is making it worse so it's making me sore.. I don't think it's the sex that makes me nervous, but I do have my doubts whether I should actually be with this guy, I feel really ugly compared to him haha and he's a bit of a player.. well used to be but we'll see..

This will affect your body, you're right. After being sore so often I began to get nervous of taking his cock, which meant my body would automatically tense up from the nerves, hence adding to tightness.
Try to understand your feelings for this guy and realize that you're not really ugly compared to him! Chances are from what you've said that if that was the case and he is a player, he wouldn't be having sex with you if he found you 'really ugly'.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by lilabs)
This will affect your body, you're right. After being sore so often I began to get nervous of taking his cock, which meant my body would automatically tense up from the nerves, hence adding to tightness.
Try to understand your feelings for this guy and realize that you're not really ugly compared to him! Chances are from what you've said that if that was the case and he is a player, he wouldn't be having sex with you if he found you 'really ugly'.

Aw thankyou for all your advice! I think i'm gonna have a word with him about my concerns and hopefully things might get a bit better in that "area" lol.
I'm gonna PM you about the household dildos hahah hope that's alright!

[lilabs]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Aw thankyou for all your advice! I think i'm gonna have a word with him about my concerns and hopefully things might get a bit better in that "area" lol.
I'm gonna PM you about the household dildos hahah hope that's alright!

No problem whatsoever
yes, speaking is aaaaalways a great way to sort things like this

[Sail Sale]

I know where you're coming from, every single time I have sex it is a massive struggle to get the penis in. Me and my boyfriend have sex very regularly and usually no less than 2 times in one session and even on round 2 or 3 it is just as difficult to get it in. It doesn't really hurt as much any more, it's just really tight, a bit uncomfortable and such an effort getting him in.

Have you tried different positions? It doesn't seem to make a difference for me, but it could do for you? Also, lube could help and make sure there is PLENTY of foreplay.

If you're really worried about it -especially as it hurts you so much and the pain seems to have developed over a period of time - then maybe go and speak to a doctor, just to make sure there isn't a specific problem down there.

[xXHolly_90Xx]

I was fine when I was with my boyfriend then we turned LDR and I don't see him often at all but I have now found that when I do see him it does hurt. I think that it's just because I need to get used to it again! I also get nervous because he hasn't seen me in a while and fear that he'll not like how I look anymore lol doesn't help! I told him though and he's very understanding and takes it easy
If you have any reason to be nervous you'll be more tense therefore more likely to hurt.