[RobertWhite]

Somehow my number has entered an annoying list where various centres keep phoning me. I have had people calling me about my washing machine having no mortgage, how my computes is infected and they wish to fix it, asking whether I have a mortgage on my house etc...

I keep telling them to piss off or provide very sarcastic replies. I have tried telling them to take me off their phone lists but it's not working.

Does anyone have any brilliant lines I could say to piss them off or any constructive advice in how to prevent them calling?

Thanks

[kumori]

say 'Sorry I don't speak English' to them and see what they say if they don't believe you ask how the weather is and keep them off topic as much as you can till they put the phone down

[johnnn]

Join the club, the only people that phone my landline are call centres and people doing surveys. Got to the stage where i unplugged it for about two weeks. I use to answer the phone singing or if they were doing a survey when they asked me a question i would ask them a question then they would hang up the phone in rage!

[RobertWhite]

(Original post by kumori)
say 'Sorry I don't speak English' to them and see what they say if they don't believe you ask how the weather is and keep them off topic as much as you can till they put the phone down

Hahaha will definitely try this. I might start speaking in Mandarin and see what they do too

[The Dark Lord]

I usually go with the 'hello.... HELLO... anyone there? I can't hear you...' Tends to really piss them off :P

Sometimes, if I'm feeling really bored I listen to what they have to say for a bit, then try to sell them something. Someone offered me cheap insurance once and I offered them a DVD for the new Avengers film. They passed. Gutted.

[Zerforax]

Stick some porn on and put the phone next to the computer.

[Annie72]

Argghh this is happening to me too!!.I have caller display on my landline phone and if it's a number I dont recognise ( usually 0845 or 0843) then I just dont answer it.I wish they would just bugger off because it is so annoying.

[Dolly786]

Go on the internet & search stop calls. You go on the webpage, register you details. In about one weeks time all calls should stop by law. Meanwhile call you phone provider & ask for your number to be an ex-directory.
Hopefully you can put your feet up.
Good luck


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[mikeyd85]

Tell them that because you are being interrupted from your work that you'll be happy to speak to them, but your time is chargeable at £60 / hour and it's calculated on a per minute basis and that before you proceed you'd like to find out who you need to invoice.

[tinkerbell_xxx]

if you look on twitter on some comedy accounts, there are some quite funny lines to say to unknown callers, one of my faves is;
"Jim's whorehouse, you got the dough, we got the hoe!"

[VengefulMuffin]

My boyfriend says "hang on, I'll just get the owner of the house" and plays loud rock/death metal music down the phone until they hang up

[memifer]

Register on line with the TPS (telephone preference service) for free (google it)....after a few weeks the calls should stop, and if they do call just tell them that you are registered with the TPS and be astounded at the speed with which they suddenly hang up on you!!

[RobertWhite]

(Original post by mikeyd85)
Tell them that because you are being interrupted from your work that you'll be happy to speak to them, but your time is chargeable at £60 / hour and it's calculated on a per minute basis and that before you proceed you'd like to find out who you need to invoice.

I like this

[RobertWhite]

(Original post by VengefulMuffin)
My boyfriend says "hang on, I'll just get the owner of the house" and plays loud rock/death metal music down the phone until they hang up

Definitely going to do this one!

[xoxAngel_Kxox]

My current tactic is to sing a verse of "Amazing Grace" in a sort of funky rock style. Brilliant fun, and rarely get the chance for verse two.

[Miss Trololol]

(Original post by memifer)
Register on line with the TPS (telephone preference service) for free (google it)....after a few weeks the calls should stop, and if they do call just tell them that you are registered with the TPS and be astounded at the speed with which they suddenly hang up on you!!

I signed up to this a couple of months ago

[Joinedup]

(Original post by RobertWhite)
I like this

clearly you were born to be a solicitor

[A Cat]

(Original post by RobertWhite)
Somehow my number has entered an annoying list where various centres keep phoning me. I have had people calling me about my washing machine having no mortgage, how my computes is infected and they wish to fix it, asking whether I have a mortgage on my house etc...

I keep telling them to piss off or provide very sarcastic replies. I have tried telling them to take me off their phone lists but it's not working.

Does anyone have any brilliant lines I could say to piss them off or any constructive advice in how to prevent them calling?

Thanks

From now on, you are a barrister, i.e. when they ask, 'is Mr X there?' and you say, you're speaking to Mr X QC in an extrememly patronising tone. Then you hear what they have to say, halfway through interrupt them and say, excuse me, but do you know that you can as an individual be fined £5000 for this nuisance call?

edit: that is linked with TPS, the tps line would probably work better as these nuisance callers don't really have a sense of logic or reason.

[laura1234]

Put the phone next to the radio for ages, its there phone bill they're wasting not yours and it means they can't call anyone else for ages.

[KentaKobashi]

Pretend you are the Police and that they have just called their local station: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBWywhv_Fxw