[Nord]

A very long one, about my mother.

Basically she's been emotionally and to a certain extent physically abusive.

She's ALWAYS slapped me and hit from age 4+ onwards when I 'cheeky' as she calls it. My grandmother used to tell her to leave me alone while I'm eating/not slap me in the face. She thinks arse spanking is okay! That certainly would not have hurt so much. Every time she hit me I ran off crying and the worst part of it is I could not even go any place to hide, because she did not leave me any privacy.

So point two, I never in my life had any privacy at all. She just does not see the meaning of doors but always opens them anyways although I tell her not to. She keeps walking in when I'm in the shower, she refuses to give me a key. She keeps nagging, yelling and bitching about all kinds of stuff. And yes, most of you will now say "BUT EVERY PARENT DOES THAT". I can just reply: Not to that extend.
When she's at home, I sit down at my PC and half a minute later it starts. She starts nagging through the door about some bull**** and wont stop, then there's silence for five minutes and she starts again.
Every 10 minutes she comes to my door and bitches about something. Today I cooked for us and she bitched all the way so in the end I had to leave the kitchen before eating because I couldn't stand it anymore.

So what's more is the constant bitching what a bad person I am, that I'm really just evil by nature, that I always take and never give.. all that. Which is not true because all my friends say there's one thing that really astonishes them and that's how generous I am. And then my mum says she knows me so well.

She critizises the films I watch, the series I watch (criminal stuff like CSI Miami and so on) although she watches it herself too. She bitches at me for wanting to go places, because she has a limited horizon and only travels as far as the café around the corner, my grandma's house, both of which are a 10 min way from home EVERY day. And occassionally to her friend who lives 20 minutes away.

In addition to that she has always talked down on things I want to do. Really, always, non stop. There's not a thing I could suggest she would not find fault in. So to add the cherry to the top, she is majorly racist, although she has been around the world.
She reads cheap newspapers were all turks and mexicans are rapists, terrorists and kidnappers. And then she bull****s me about those the whole day whenever I only mention going to mexico.

EVERYTHING I want to do is bad, unless it's here in austria and no one gets too close to me.

She's a control freak and I don't have a silent minute when she's at home. And then she keeps asking WHY I despise her.

The first time I had suicidal thoughts I was thirteen, and that's surely not like a kid should feel.

Most people will now say: MOVE OUT BLA BLA BLA.
Yeah, I want to. Are you paying for the apartment?

And before someone comes with "FIND A JOB": I have 2 interviews next week, but I am still a student so I can't spend too much time jobbing either.

End Rant.

[Nord]

So I'm just fighting with the b**** again and I find it a bit uneasy to stay calm.

I mean I just remembered when I was 12 I had all but one book and nothing else, so I would sit in the kitchen for 16 hours from morning to evening and do literally nothing because my mum did not want to buy me more books/anything else I could pass the time with and did not give me pocket money at all. I don't have much other family (my dad's never paid enough either) so there was nothing to do. I remember being so bored that I started exercising on the floor on half a blanket.

It just makes me angry. -.-

She never wanted to cook, bake or ANYTHING with me, hit me, complained, bitched and moaned all day and now she denigrates herself being my mother? Sorry, no this person is not my mother.

I wish she had let me be adopted. And I am sure adoption and being an orphan is horrible, but it would have been more desireable than what I had.

[Nord]

Okay, one more post in here. Venting again.

So, my mum's currently on the "I DID SO MUCH FOR YOU" trip. (Currently, lol, it's been going for 2 years now)

However, she has NEVER done ANYTHING for me but every day keeps bull****ting about how much she has done/does for me. Alright, I'll be fair. She drove me to driving school because it's a long way. Bitching, moaning and talking bad about me and the things I like all the time. (I would have taken the bus, but I'd never have got there in time with Uni courses and all.)

Now she's trying to convince me that:
A.) She has a right to have grandchildren AND see them. (No way.)
B.) I am not allowed to move out until February.
C.) I am not allowed to move to a certain "bad" area of town.
D.) I am a bad person for not buying her a cup of strawberries too when I bought myself one. (Firstly, I only had money for 1 cup and I told her that, Secondly, I would have shared if she wouldn't have started to bitch again, thirdly, she is the one supposed to buy the food.)

She wants to know EVERYTHING in detail, what I did, how I did it, when I did it and where I did it. Telling her it is none of her business does not work either because she thinks she has all right to know, because SHE DID SO MUCH FOR ME.

In her opinion I am not allowed to do any PC related work, because I sit too much on the PC. Have I sit on the PC for like the whole morning to lunch (that's my norm) she comes and bitches about it. And she wont leave me alone with saying "YOU HAVE TO DO SPORT BLABLA". And that goes on for at least an hour or two. (Note: I do sports at least 1~2 hours a day only she does not believe it/does not want me to sit on the PC AT ALL.)

So, she is also constantly bothering me with "YOU EAT TOO MANY SWEETS", when all I eat is maybe 1 liter of ice cream, 1 pack gummy bears and a pack of chocolates in two weeks. And even if I ate more, it is not her business!

Whenever I sit on the lunch table to eat, she will join me and bitch and bitch and bitch. And then she wonders why I wont eat when she's home. Also, if I go back to my room because the bitching is too much, she will follow and bitch until I go back and eat (and no, waiting some time does not work, she does not have anything to do but bitch at me. Literally.). Also: If I eat in my room she will stand in front of it as long as she is home and will... (you can guess!) BITCH.

Again: Writing this only because it's so much bull**** I have to get out of the system.

[Fynch101]

How old are you? Judging by you being a student, I'm guessing at least over 18. If you're anywhere near 21, please have the confidence in yourself - it is very unlikely if you think like this about her now, you will suddenly think in 10/20 years time 'oh I was so mean back then' etc. So maintain your conviction!

Part of growing up is realising adults can be just as wrong as children. She sounds like a vice on your enjoyment. Nagging can be incredibly harmful, it sounds small, but can lead to some pretty serious anxiety problems in later life.

All in all, be selfish. In a situation like this its the only way to be happy.

[Nord]

(Original post by Fynch101)
How old are you? Judging by you being a student, I'm guessing at least over 18. If you're anywhere near 21, please have the confidence in yourself - it is very unlikely if you think like this about her now, you will suddenly think in 10/20 years time 'oh I was so mean back then' etc. So maintain your conviction!

Part of growing up is realising adults can be just as wrong as children. She sounds like a vice on your enjoyment. Nagging can be incredibly harmful, it sounds small, but can lead to some pretty serious anxiety problems in later life.

All in all, be selfish. In a situation like this its the only way to be happy.

Thanks ...

I know I should be, but although I can be a real ******* and I have a really hard shell when need be, but inside I'm still too soft and probably too nice. :/

Once I got a job I'll find myself an apartment and talk to the bank about the dept. (Well, I'll talk to the bank before of course.)

[Fynch101]

(Original post by Nord)
Thanks ...

I know I should be, but although I can be a real ******* and I have a really hard shell when need be, but inside I'm still too soft and probably too nice. :/

Once I got a job I'll find myself an apartment and talk to the bank about the dept. (Well, I'll talk to the bank before of course.)

It all amounts to bullying, and bullying is without doubt at worst when it comes from a family member, hence why it has a different name - abuse. The reason being that its very hard to detach yourself from a relative compared to your average playground bully.

Getting a job is the way out, you'll have to spend less time with her, and you'll get paid for it. Being at this age is all about working out who you want to be. I see so many people figuring out who they want to be by looking at their friends or being forced into a certain lifestyle by their parents. Niether really knows why they live how they live. I doubt thats how you'd want to look back on your own life anyway!

Could just try being quieter? like irresponsive, unless that would definitely make the situation worse.

[flown_muse]

Apart from the racist thing, that sounds exactly like my mum was. Exactly.

I don't know what to say to you apart from stick it out, and hopefully you'll be out soon.

[Nord]

When I was about 7 I comforted the elementary school's greatest bully when his parents did not come to a play and he started to cry. Well, he never bothered me again!

Yes, job is good. I did have one for last Christmas and I was away practically the whole day- only to get home to... well you already know. Somehow I ended up with a guy I knew from work, we almost moved in but it did not work out.

I could be quieter, yes, but then she would stand in front of my door- like she does now- and knock on it and yell through it until I respond. I mean I am sitting here with my earplugs in (and I don't mean my earphones).