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How do people get into relationships?

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    (Original post by LavenderBlueSky88)
    You can't make it happen. It might be another 5 years before you have a relationship, or you might meet someone tomorrow. In my experience though it is very rare to find someone with whom you have a really good connection with as well as physical attraction - but that doesn't mean it's never going to happen.
    yeah, dissuade people from having something perfectly normal.
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    (Original post by JGMycroft)
    I think it sounds more like you have a self-esteem issue or you're insanely shy and need to meet new people. You also sound really young... young enough to not have to care about being in a relationship and should concentrate on experiencing what life has to offer instead.
    Looks might be important at first but it's your confidence, personality, and character that will ultimately put you in a long and meaningful relationship. Looks fade, your experiences and what you make of life doesn't.
    Looks are primary. Why are you being so politically correct?
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    I would say relationships are not required in life, it's something popular culture/the media purport.

    but attraction is holistic. it's a mixture of looks, personality/character, confidence, etc. and a host of other factors. I think to a large extent, people have their own standard of attractiveness (holistically).
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    (Original post by namithailoveyou)
    yeah, dissuade people from having something perfectly normal.
    Not sure how you concluded that from what I said.. I am not dissuading anyone from anything- but it isn't easy to find someone who you really connect with on every level, sure you can probably get a girl/boyfriend who isn't right for you just for the sake of having one but that's a very immature thing to do. I like to think I have at least some experience of relationships, but its just my take on things at the end of the day..
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    Find someone you fancy, try and sleep with them, and then take it from there. And if you are finding it difficult to get someone to sleep with you, ask yourself if you are projecting a sense of someone who likes men and likes sex.
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    (Original post by NatalieLon1986)
    Find someone you fancy, try and sleep with them, and then take it from there. And if you are finding it difficult to get someone to sleep with you, ask yourself if you are projecting a sense of someone who likes men and likes sex.
    So in conclusion, be a whore? Poor advice.
    I've been in two long(ish) relationships.
    The first I got into by talking, getting to know them. This was by far the best relationship of the two, despite being the shorter (she had to move away with family).
    The second, introduced through a friend. Got to know her, things moved way too fast. Found out more after we started going out and realised that was the wrong order in which to do it. It's a learning curve but just try talking to people. Figure out who the *******s are (the ones who just want sex) and who the genuine guys are. If they can talk to you for a few weeks without trying to jump in your pants then they're worth keeping around.
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    (Original post by bloodtobleed)
    So in conclusion, be a whore? Poor advice.
    Do you call men who have lots of sexual partners whores as well?

    I reckon that if there isn't some type of sexual interest from the beginning, then things are not likely to go well for a relationship.
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    (Original post by NatalieLon1986)
    Do you call men who have lots of sexual partners whores as well?

    I reckon that if there isn't some type of sexual interest from the beginning, then things are not likely to go well for a relationship.
    No... I call them man-whores.
    You can have sexual interest without having sex. You shouldn't feel the need to jump in bed with someone after meeting them unless your goal is to just have sex with them.

    Edit: Just realised I've been using the word whore. No money is involved but you get my point.
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    Speaking from experience, I've realised that seeking out a relationship isn't the way to go. Things work out so much better when they fall into place by themselves, when it's all spontaneous and random...

    **** match.com
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    (Original post by Robert Osborne)
    Speaking from experience, I've realised that seeking out a relationship isn't the way to go. Things work out so much better when they fall into place by themselves, when it's all spontaneous and random...

    **** match.com
    that's not going to happen for me tho.

    eventually i'll take action myself.
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    (Original post by NatalieLon1986)
    Find someone you fancy, try and sleep with them, and then take it from there. And if you are finding it difficult to get someone to sleep with you, ask yourself if you are projecting a sense of someone who likes men and likes sex.

    i'm not attractive enough to do that.
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    (Original post by namithailoveyou)
    Looks are primary. Why are you being so politically correct?
    I don't understand how I'm being politically correct?

    I agree that looks are important but that's the initial contact isn't it? A person's more likely to talk to a gorgeous looking girl than the plain jane sitting beside her.
    But looks doesn't determine whether or not you'll be in a relationship. I've gone out with GORGEOUS looking men before but couldn't stand being around them after the first couple dates.

    And from what the OP is continually posting on this forum, it just sounds like a confidence issue. From what eveyrbody's been posting, she's just shutting it down by saying that no, she's not attractive enough so there are no options.

    It's frustrating because there's nothing you or I can say to someone like that until they find out for themselves by getting out there, meeting people, getting their heart broken, etc. And they're not gonna get that by going on a forum and getting people to feel sorry for them.
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    (Original post by JGMycroft)
    It's frustrating because there's nothing you or I can say to someone like that until they find out for themselves by getting out there, meeting people, getting their heart broken, etc. And they're not gonna get that by going on a forum and getting people to feel sorry for them.
    Ran out of rep but glad someone said that :top:


    This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my HTC Wildfire S A510e
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    I'm a lad and as such I can tell you that of a beautiful girl with a less attractive girl beside her, I would 7/10 times approach the less attractive girl because A) I have little confidence and I know that she's probably a shallow bitch, and B) she's less likely to be a terrible person. I also find nerdier girls attractive compared to the kind of girl who has hair that stands 3" off of her head or uses a trowel to apply make-up. Looks aren't everything but they do count for something. I've only ever had girls approach me a couple of times and each one has been a confidence boost. I know I'm not the worst looking guy in the world but I don't think of myself as attractive.


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

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