[Robertall]

I have struggled for years to talk to young ladys, mainly due to bullying in school.

It has made me quiet, and also struggling to enjoy social time. I do not go out clubbing/drinking, and would rather enjoy playing with tools or doing DIY in the garage.

I have been on 2 dates this year, both not well.

First one was met on facebook, all good, spoke to her for 6 months before meeting, was glad to meet, met on a Friday afternoon/evening. All good. On Saturday evening, was going out to a bar. I was driving. I refused to drink. I complimented on one of her friends 'friends' saying: 'they are certainly overstated' [in reference to her boobs]. Next day she accused me of 'flirting with the girl with the big tits', and being 'boring' (assuming that is because i didn't want to drink). (she was 19)

Second one: Met on a dating site, all good, met up with her, she had a great personality, quite attractive, first impressions were excellent. Took her to Mcdonalds to buy her a Mcflurry. Went for a walk in the countryside (this is mid-afternoon), all seemed well, i asked her what time she needed to be home (if any). She just said 4ish. Spent 4 hours with her that afternoon, all seemed well (famous last words). She said give her a text sometime. I texted her about 5-6 times since, she has completely ignored me?? (she was 27)


I am 21.

I am a tad shy i suppose, but women seem to be self-opinionated, awkward, uncommunicative, irritating and immature most of the time.

I know i will find the right person someday, but why won't she just text back to tell me to f*** off? Rather than just being plain ignorant.

[James004]

(Original post by snowman77)
Some background: I am quiet and introverted. When I was younger, I was shy but as I have grown older, I have realised my shyness stems from have a deep resentment of socialising. I hate talking to people. I prefer being on my own. I can talk to people if I have to but I would much rather not. The only reason I socialise is because it is the most reliable way to find sexual relationships without the need to pay for sex.

My question: Do you find that girls don't make any effort with you once they find out you're quiet or shy? In contrast boys play an active role to help you overcome your quiet personality, they try and involve you, they try and strike conversation with you. Girls don't do this. Once they sense you are quiet or shy they would rather not make any effort with you. Is it only me who experiences this?

I'm very much the same and I've come across this reaction all my life. When I first meet girls I tend to speak more and make an effort to get to know them. Then after a few times of meeting them they realise I don't talk that much and they distance themselves. I think they see it as a lack of confidence if someone doesn't speak that much and to girls that's a big turn off. I don't lack confidence, I'm introverted and prefer to be left alone after a period of time socialising as I fizzle out. The reason I don't talk as much as others is because I spend most of my time thinking, going over things and working things out in my head which I happen to enjoy and socialising disrupts my thoughts.

[The Unique Bloke]

(Original post by snowman77)
Some background: I am quiet and introverted. When I was younger, I was shy but as I have grown older, I have realised my shyness stems from have a deep resentment of socialising. I hate talking to people. I prefer being on my own. I can talk to people if I have to but I would much rather not. The only reason I socialise is because it is the most reliable way to find sexual relationships without the need to pay for sex.

My question: Do you find that girls don't make any effort with you once they find out you're quiet or shy? In contrast boys play an active role to help you overcome your quiet personality, they try and involve you, they try and strike conversation with you. Girls don't do this. Once they sense you are quiet or shy they would rather not make any effort with you. Is it only me who experiences this?

I was agreeing with most of what you said , except the "wanting sex?" part <- slightly disappointing

[jim100]

(Original post by Robertall)
I have struggled for years to talk to young ladys, mainly due to bullying in school.

It has made me quiet, and also struggling to enjoy social time. I do not go out clubbing/drinking, and would rather enjoy playing with tools or doing DIY in the garage.

I have been on 2 dates this year, both not well.

First one was met on facebook, all good, spoke to her for 6 months before meeting, was glad to meet, met on a Friday afternoon/evening. All good. On Saturday evening, was going out to a bar. I was driving. I refused to drink. I complimented on one of her friends 'friends' saying: 'they are certainly overstated' [in reference to her boobs]. Next day she accused me of 'flirting with the girl with the big tits', and being 'boring' (assuming that is because i didn't want to drink). (she was 19)

Second one: Met on a dating site, all good, met up with her, she had a great personality, quite attractive, first impressions were excellent. Took her to Mcdonalds to buy her a Mcflurry. Went for a walk in the countryside (this is mid-afternoon), all seemed well, i asked her what time she needed to be home (if any). She just said 4ish. Spent 4 hours with her that afternoon, all seemed well (famous last words). She said give her a text sometime. I texted her about 5-6 times since, she has completely ignored me?? (she was 27)


I am 21.

I am a tad shy i suppose, but women seem to be self-opinionated, awkward, uncommunicative, irritating and immature most of the time.

I know i will find the right person someday, but why won't she just text back to tell me to f*** off? Rather than just being plain ignorant.

Yes, bullying reduces your confidence and makes you doubt yourself. You probably do not feel good enough and become introverted

Women love guys with confidence - no confidence no hope. subconsciously it lack of confidence manifests itself in your mannerisms, body language and interaction with people and you probably do not even realise.

You made a couple of errors in your dates and thats fine but you need to learn from them. Girls like to be pampered and taking her to McDonalds was probably not a good idea. You will get several knock backs and for whatever reason they may think you are not suitable - it could be your personality, looks, status, age so dont try to take it to heart. You will also reject women in the future and sure they will wonder why too. The more you meet the more you will learn. Yes, I was the most useless guy in the world with women - still hopeless and feel intimidated by them. Sure you will be more of a success than me.

[snowman77]

If it were me I would salvage those friendships particularly if they go out a lot which would mean more contact with girls and greater chance for relationships. ;P Do you have a girl friend?

(Original post by metalthrashin'mad)
I don't really back home. When I started my job, about 2 weeks in we had a work outing to bowling, but because I didn't really know anyone I just decided not to go.

Can't wait to go back to uni, although I'm not sure if the friendships I'm pretty sure I ruined there can be salvaged or not. Hopefully water under the bridge.

[snowman77]

This is a concise summary of what I experience. Girls are immature and play games even when you only want to be friends. I like boys because there is much less pussy footing and doing things behind your back. If it were me I would want that girl to say it to me straight and say she likes you or hated you. Me being quiet, all I get from girls is strange looks or awkward moments of not talking. They don't want to lose their pride or be the one to make any effort to make any sort of friendly conversation. I must say that women who are older (40+) love to talk but young girls (30 or less) think they're somehow 'above' making an effort to at least be friendly with you.

I was bullied at school for about 2 years. I have had general name calling and minor abuse at me for all of my school life. I know your pain.

(Original post by Robertall)
I have struggled for years to talk to young ladys, mainly due to bullying in school.

It has made me quiet, and also struggling to enjoy social time. I do not go out clubbing/drinking, and would rather enjoy playing with tools or doing DIY in the garage.

I have been on 2 dates this year, both not well.

First one was met on facebook, all good, spoke to her for 6 months before meeting, was glad to meet, met on a Friday afternoon/evening. All good. On Saturday evening, was going out to a bar. I was driving. I refused to drink. I complimented on one of her friends 'friends' saying: 'they are certainly overstated' [in reference to her boobs]. Next day she accused me of 'flirting with the girl with the big tits', and being 'boring' (assuming that is because i didn't want to drink). (she was 19)

Second one: Met on a dating site, all good, met up with her, she had a great personality, quite attractive, first impressions were excellent. Took her to Mcdonalds to buy her a Mcflurry. Went for a walk in the countryside (this is mid-afternoon), all seemed well, i asked her what time she needed to be home (if any). She just said 4ish. Spent 4 hours with her that afternoon, all seemed well (famous last words). She said give her a text sometime. I texted her about 5-6 times since, she has completely ignored me?? (she was 27)


I am 21.

I am a tad shy i suppose, but women seem to be self-opinionated, awkward, uncommunicative, irritating and immature most of the time.

I know i will find the right person someday, but why won't she just text back to tell me to f*** off? Rather than just being plain ignorant.

[unicorndarts]

(Original post by snowman77)
This is a concise summary of what I experience. Girls are immature and play games even when you only want to be friends. I like boys because there is much less pussy footing and doing things behind your back. If it were me I would want that girl to say it to me straight and say she likes you or hated you. Me being quiet, all I get from girls is strange looks or awkward moments of not talking. They don't want to lose their pride or be the one to make any effort to make any sort of friendly conversation. I must say that women who are older (40+) love to talk but young girls (30 or less) think they're somehow 'above' making an effort to at least be friendly with you.

I was bullied at school for about 2 years. I have had general name calling and minor abuse at me for all of my school life. I know your pain.

With all due respect, I would suggest that you are both going after the wrong women. In my experience, most shy/quiet guys tend to go after the pretty, popular girls. Howeverrr, these girls already have the attention of the sociable guys, so why would they bother making an effort to expand their social circle, as their social needs are already fulfilled? Unless of course they are a genuine people person, in which case you won't like them anyway, as you "detest talking"? Try talking to the shy girl in the corner, they'll be happy someone bothered to talk to them- you know what this feels like, so make someone else happy?

Also, it is more than a little hypocritical of you to say that all women under thirty think that they are "above making an effort", when you yourself are refusing to bother initiating conversation.

[Astronomical]

(Original post by snowman77)
Some background: I am quiet and introverted. When I was younger, I was shy but as I have grown older, I have realised my shyness stems from have a deep resentment of socialising. I hate talking to people. I prefer being on my own. I can talk to people if I have to but I would much rather not. The only reason I socialise is because it is the most reliable way to find sexual relationships without the need to pay for sex.

My question: Do you find that girls don't make any effort with you once they find out you're quiet or shy? In contrast boys play an active role to help you overcome your quiet personality, they try and involve you, they try and strike conversation with you. Girls don't do this. Once they sense you are quiet or shy they would rather not make any effort with you. Is it only me who experiences this?

Surely it depends.

If you're quiet but look all awkward then you'll get ignored.

If you're quiet but look confident and sort of "mysterious" I imagine you'd get people's interest.

Right?

[LaurenPhilippa]

(Original post by jim100)
taking her to McDonalds was probably not a good idea.

LOL. This is so true.

[Philbert]

As a quiet person (I used to be insanely shy), I tend to gravitate towards other quiet people, especially at parties and such where there are a lot of unfamiliar people. I find it easier to approach quieter people and if they approach me, I'll always give them a chance.

People have told me that because I'm quiet, I sometimes came across as aloof and uninterested, when really it's because I didn't have much to say about a particular topic, or I was happy listening to other people's opinions. I used to get passed off as "shy" and boring, and I feel that having that label prevented some people from making an effort to get to know me. I wonder if that's the same with you. I generally find that the people I meet now are more mature enough to understand that not saying much =/= boring.

[Banishingboredom]

(Original post by the.cookie.monster)
Maybe that's why they don't bother if THAT'S the only thing you're after =_=

You don't you much about guys I take it.

[Hear Me Roar]

(Original post by Robertall)
Second one: Met on a dating site, all good, met up with her, she had a great personality, quite attractive, first impressions were excellent. Took her to Mcdonalds to buy her a Mcflurry. Went for a walk in the countryside (this is mid-afternoon), all seemed well, i asked her what time she needed to be home (if any). She just said 4ish. Spent 4 hours with her that afternoon, all seemed well (famous last words). She said give her a text sometime. I texted her about 5-6 times since, she has completely ignored me?? (she was 27)

I'm sure you're a nice guy, but what kind of idiotic girl would go for a walk in the countryside where there are no other people around, with a guy she just met on the internet?!

[1992LP]

I wouldn't say I am particularly quiet, but girls don't pay me any attention anyway.

I have learned to give up, and hope that it will all sort itself out in due course!

[sucess]

(Original post by LaurenPhilippa)
Have you ever thought that the reason you ain't getting any is not because of your shyness, but because you just want sex?

With all due respect...99% of girls don't mind shyness...they just don't want a guy looking solely for "sexual relationships". Good luck finding the 1% that are looking for just that, most prefer at least a bit of commitment. D;

If you're not exaggerating...ahem, you may want to seriously consider paying for it, probs your best bet tbh.

these days its more like 99% are out looking for sex

[rlw31]

(Original post by Podcaster)
Hypocritical lies from both sides of the fence.

Do you know her well enough to state that what she finds attractive in men are lies? And how is it in any way hypocritical

[Podcaster]

(Original post by rlw31)
Do you know her well enough to state that what she finds attractive in men are lies? And how is it in any way hypocritical

IO never called her a liar in particular i'm saying in general.

[miser]

Confidence is a natural thing to find attractive, especially for women, because of the selective forces that were at play in the evolutionary environment. It is much harder to find a girlfriend if you are quiet or shy than if you are confident or out-going, even if the number of women you met was the same in both cases.

[Cristar]

(Original post by thecrimsonidol)
Well someone's horny.

Agree.

[snowyowl]

I find I'm more attracted to a guy if he's shy and/or quiet

Having said that, my current partner's very confident. He's mellowed out a bit since he's been with me though. When I first met him he was very loud and outgoing and I didn't even like him because of it

[rlw31]

(Original post by Podcaster)
IO never called her a liar in particular i'm saying in general.

She talked about what she found attractive and you quoted her saying "Hypocritical lies", what was the in general bit about? And if you were just speaking generally, why bother quote her at all