[Anonymous]

is this socially acceptable?
As in say im at a shopping mall and theres a girl i like, is it socially acceptable to try and chat her up? Seems as though many girls refuse to be chat up during the day yet, if i were to talk to them at a pub or a club at night then they are more willing to talk to you.

I ask as i'm single and I would like a girlfriend, (as ive never had one before) and i am starting to feel lonely. Just wondered if there are any places to meet girls not at the clubs or the pubs.

[py0alb]

Is accosting strangers socially acceptable?

No. It is not.

Do you never meet any girls just as part of your day to day life? Why don't you talk to them?

[Vikki1805]

You're thinking about this too much, if you're out in the day and happen to get chatting with a girl and get her number, nobody is going to come over and say
"Sorry, it's before sunset and therefore this isn't allowed."

Don't plan how to chat up women, just go out and enjoy life and if you meet someone, then all the better!

[Ollieeeee]

Nah you are only allowed to talk to girls within the hours of 22:00-23:00 otherwise it's rape. Are you retarded?

[superduper9]

Initially I was thinking OP had a reasonable question but the above 2 responses and thinking back to my own past experiences have just made me realise that the time of day is irrelevant!

However, the way you talk to the girl is slightly different depending on the location / situation, but of course this is common knowledge.

[Classical Liberal]

Gym classes are a descent place. Sports that girls do are good as well. Hockey, tennis etc.

A ****ing gold mine is stables. Lots of hot posh girls there.

To approach girls out in public requires a bit of slight of hand. You cannot just go up and talk to them and be confident. You are labelled a wierdo. However if you can get yourself in situations where you start talking to a stranger without approaching them you can get somewhere. For example my train was cancelled the other day and some guy came out explaining what was going on. I did know what the guy said however I took this opportunity to ask a girl what the guy had said. This looks like I just need some help from a stranger. From there you can ask where she is going, why she is going and bam you are in and are able to sit down on the train with her without ever making her feel awkward.


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[superduper9]

(Original post by Classical Liberal)
For example my train was cancelled the other day and some guy came out explaining what was going on. I did know what the guy said however I took this opportunity to ask a girl what the guy had said. This looks like I just need some help from a stranger. From there you can ask where she is going, why she is going and bam you are in and are able to sit down on the train with her without ever making her feel awkward.

This is a good approach that I have tried and have moderate success with. A very casual and unassuming approach. The only problem is if she responds half heartedly and then you're in doubt whether you should continue the conversation and sit with her on the train or not! The situation may become awkward if she happens to be a shy girl or someone who has got a lot on their mind. Its a luck of the draw, but you don't win unless you try!

[namithailoveyou]

Clubs (not the dancing kind) are a good place.

But anywhere is fair game. Just be cool and confident, go up to a girl and start a conversation.

[py0alb]

(Original post by Classical Liberal)
you are in and are able to sit down on the train with her without ever making her feel awkward.

I bet you a million billion pounds she felt awkward but was too polite to show it.

[py0alb]

Ultimately: until you stop thinking of girls as girls and start thinking of them as people you are going to come across like a weirdo.

Just talk to everyone naturally and equally. Do not even consider whether you find someone attractive until you have talked to them for a few minutes. Do not try to engineer some awkward conversation just because you think someone is hot. All these idiot wannabe pickup artists who go up and clumsily intimidate girls in the street until they give them a fake phone number out of embarrassment have an extremely low success/effort ratio. Do not copy them.

Normal, moderately attractive, confident, non-creepy guys who don't try to force conversations do far better than try-hard PUA chumps.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Classical Liberal)
Gym classes are a descent place. Sports that girls do are good as well. Hockey, tennis etc.

A ****ing gold mine is stables. Lots of hot posh girls there.

To approach girls out in public requires a bit of slight of hand. You cannot just go up and talk to them and be confident. You are labelled a wierdo. However if you can get yourself in situations where you start talking to a stranger without approaching them you can get somewhere. For example my train was cancelled the other day and some guy came out explaining what was going on. I did know what the guy said however I took this opportunity to ask a girl what the guy had said. This looks like I just need some help from a stranger. From there you can ask where she is going, why she is going and bam you are in and are able to sit down on the train with her without ever making her feel awkward.


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exactly what i was "afraid" of - not that im afraid to talk to girls but you get my point. & I can see where your coming from in the above situation and it would seem appropriate.

(Original post by py0alb)
Ultimately: until you stop thinking of girls as girls and start thinking of them as people you are going to come across like a weirdo.

Just talk to everyone naturally and equally. Do not even consider whether you find someone attractive until you have talked to them for a few minutes. Do not try to engineer some awkward conversation just because you think someone is hot. All these idiot wannabe pickup artists who go up and clumsily intimidate girls in the street until they give them a fake phone number out of embarrassment have an extremely low success/effort ratio. Do not copy them.

Normal, moderately attractive, confident, non-creepy guys who don't try to force conversations do far better than try-hard PUA chumps.

Im not some wannabe PUA, its just that Ive finished uni, and I am no longer in the company of girls every day. I have asked a few girls out at work and have been rejected...so on the basis of being rejected all the time i made a change and i am now alot more confident, i feel confident and everything is awesome. But one thing, im not in the company of girls that much.

Please dont think im just going for girls in the aim to be a partner, i would like more girl-friends, I dont have many female friends, and if i network more then theres potential to find a partner, but like i said, i dont have many female friends. (It does stem from the fact that the girls i have asked out and been rejected they are still my friend but i dont actively seek to talk to them that much of the time)

Just am ever so worried that I wont meet anyone for a long time. I can meet girls in clubs and dance with them, but nothing ever seems to come of it, and I refuse to take a girl home, because im a virgin & Id rather lose it to someone that means a lot to me.

Just feel lonely y'know see the majority of my friends and their partners having fun being in a couple and id like to experience that at some point in the near future. Just feel as though time is slipping away from me im almost 22 and not even kissed a girl yet, thats embarassing.

[namithailoveyou]

what are your hobbies/interests? Go to a group/club and scope a girl out there.

[namithailoveyou]

(Original post by py0alb)
Is accosting strangers socially acceptable?

No. It is not.

Do you never meet any girls just as part of your day to day life? Why don't you talk to them?

Starting polite conversation constitutes accosting somebody?

[Classical Liberal]

(Original post by py0alb)
I bet you a million billion pounds she felt awkward but was too polite to show it.

L


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[Classical Liberal]

(Original post by py0alb)
I bet you a million billion pounds she felt awkward but was too polite to show it.

Possibly, fortunately we just complained about Sunday services on trains rather than me pinning her down with questions.

Turns out she was going to see some guy who she had buried in the friend zone. Think I might have messed up her view of him lol, funny ****


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[ShredMaster]

(Original post by Ollieeeee)
Nah you are only allowed to talk to girls within the hours of 22:00-23:00 otherwise it's rape. Are you retarded?

Are you retarded?

[FeelingsBrah]

(Original post by Vikki1805)
You're thinking about this too much, if you're out in the day and happen to get chatting with a girl and get her number, nobody is going to come over and say
"Sorry, it's before sunset and therefore this isn't allowed."

Don't plan how to chat up women, just go out and enjoy life and if you meet someone, then all the better!

It doesn't always work that you just 'happen' upon someone you like. There are times when making a conscious effort to meet the opposite sex is the only realistic way of doing things.

If your work/school is male dominated. Your hobbies are male dominated. Your social circle is male dominated. Then you're pretty much ****ed. It's pretty rare to idly start up a conversation with someone in the supermarket/coffee shop/whatever. Even more rare that it's someone you might be interested in.

Trust me, this is from experience. I've gone my entire life just doing what I enjoy in life. People do not just magically appear.

[Vikki1805]

(Original post by FeelingsBrah)
It doesn't always work that you just 'happen' upon someone you like. There are times when making a conscious effort to meet the opposite sex is the only realistic way of doing things.

If your work/school is male dominated. Your hobbies are male dominated. Your social circle is male dominated. Then you're pretty much ****ed. It's pretty rare to idly start up a conversation with someone in the supermarket/coffee shop/whatever. Even more rare that it's someone you might be interested in.

Trust me, this is from experience. I've gone my entire life just doing what I enjoy in life. People do not just magically appear.

I guess if that's from your experience then fair enough
From my own experience I've just always happened to meet people, you go out with friends and meet someone or my current partner for example, I popped into a pub and we just happened to start chatting, we both liked each other and two years down the line we're still together now and that's now my local pub

I suppose things work out differently for different people.

[Classical Liberal]

(Original post by namithailoveyou)
Starting polite conversation constitutes accosting somebody?

It definitely can, particularly in the uk. Going up to strangers and just talking is considered wierd. It is tragic really.

In america talking to strangers is a lot less wierd though.


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[bloodtobleed]

(Original post by Classical Liberal)
A ****ing gold mine is stables. Lots of hot posh girls there.

Sure if you like stuck up women.