[FeelingsBrah]

(Original post by Vikki1805)
I guess if that's from your experience then fair enough
From my own experience I've just always happened to meet people, you go out with friends and meet someone or my current partner for example, I popped into a pub and we just happened to start chatting, we both liked each other and two years down the line we're still together now and that's now my local pub

I suppose things work out differently for different people.

There is not a single pub or bar around here that I would 'enjoy' spending the evening at.

[py0alb]

(Original post by namithailoveyou)
Starting polite conversation constitutes accosting somebody?

Pretty much. If a girl is innocently walking down the street and some guy comes up to her out of the blue and says "HEY BEAUTIFUL <insert lame chat up line here>", the poor thing will be creeped out for the rest of the day. Don't do it.

[py0alb]

(Original post by Anonymous)
exactly what i was "afraid" of - not that im afraid to talk to girls but you get my point. & I can see where your coming from in the above situation and it would seem appropriate.

Im not some wannabe PUA, its just that Ive finished uni, and I am no longer in the company of girls every day. I have asked a few girls out at work and have been rejected...so on the basis of being rejected all the time i made a change and i am now alot more confident, i feel confident and everything is awesome. But one thing, im not in the company of girls that much.

Please dont think im just going for girls in the aim to be a partner, i would like more girl-friends, I dont have many female friends, and if i network more then theres potential to find a partner, but like i said, i dont have many female friends. (It does stem from the fact that the girls i have asked out and been rejected they are still my friend but i dont actively seek to talk to them that much of the time)

Just am ever so worried that I wont meet anyone for a long time. I can meet girls in clubs and dance with them, but nothing ever seems to come of it, and I refuse to take a girl home, because im a virgin & Id rather lose it to someone that means a lot to me.

Just feel lonely y'know see the majority of my friends and their partners having fun being in a couple and id like to experience that at some point in the near future. Just feel as though time is slipping away from me im almost 22 and not even kissed a girl yet, thats embarassing.

Are you not in any sports clubs where girls come to watch you play? What about local bars where everyone knows your name and all the barmaids fancy you? How about house parties where you can chat to several girls at once? Or friends of friends who are blown away by your sheer charisma the moment you walk through the pub door? I always found the easiest way to pull was to go down the pub with my mates to play pool or darts and wait for a girl to come up to me.

Surely some of your friends' partners have single friends? Why don't they set you up?

and please, get over the "I'm a pathetic lonely virgin" schtick. Nothing puts a girl off quicker than a guy who is looking for a "meaningful relationship" on the first date. Its much more fun for them when they can tell you're intending to do highly obscene, borderline illegal things to them. Relationships are what happens when the girl you're sodomising moves into your flat.

[Vikki1805]

(Original post by FeelingsBrah)
There is not a single pub or bar around here that I would 'enjoy' spending the evening at.

Go else where then, broaden your horizon!

[Multitalented me]

Of course it's socially acceptable, but when you talk to them you can't show them that you're trying to get with them, just be friendly, you can start a convo by asking for directions or something or sitting down next to someone you find attractive on public transport & ask where they're going etc to pass the time & go from there. As someone mentioned it's kind of the luck of the draw as some women will just be like oh I'm busy & wont really be interested in the convo but it's better to at least have the courage to try & find out. Good luck

[Classical Liberal]

(Original post by py0alb)
Its much more fun for them when they can tell you're intending to do highly obscene, borderline illegal things to them. Relationships are what happens when the girl you're sodomising moves into your flat.

Bow down to the king

Women are really just men with boobies and fannies when you strip em down. It is tragic that men see women as some kind of aliens who need to be treated like little princesses, on the other hand it is what guys are told to do. How often do you hear girls say "I want somebody to treat me like a sex object" or a father to tell his son to "treat girls like guys who you can mount". Or the flip side, the "nice guy" ultimately getting the girl in a film. Men are taught that women are intrinsically different from them and should be treated as such.

I reckon a lot of these self proclaimed "nice guys" who complain about "jerks" treat women like little prissy 7 year old girls. And then these guys wonder why they get "friend zoned".

Suppose your son were to ask you how to deal with girls, would you tell him what you just said? And how would you feel about this if you had a daughter?


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Vikki1805)
I guess if that's from your experience then fair enough
From my own experience I've just always happened to meet people, you go out with friends and meet someone or my current partner for example, I popped into a pub and we just happened to start chatting, we both liked each other and two years down the line we're still together now and that's now my local pub

I suppose things work out differently for different people.

In other words, SOMEONE ELSE has made the effort to come and talk to you. It didn't "just happen" he made a conscious decision to talk to you

[Vikki1805]

(Original post by dgeorge)
In other words, SOMEONE ELSE has made the effort to come and talk to you. It didn't "just happen" he made a conscious decision to talk to you

But he never planned it, he didn't go out looking to pick a woman up, he went down his local as usual and I turned up. We ended up chatting, I genuinely can't remember who spoke first, I think he asked me to help him on the fruit machine.

But what I'm saying is sometimes people do just meet, you ever heard the saying "When you're looking for something, you won't find it. But you'll find it when you least expect it."

That is my point, I'm not saying that works for everyone, just saying that OP could meet anyone, anywhere.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Vikki1805)
But he never planned it, he didn't go out looking to pick a woman up, he went down his local as usual and I turned up. We ended up chatting, I genuinely can't remember who spoke first, I think he asked me to help him on the fruit machine.

But what I'm saying is sometimes people do just meet, you ever heard the saying "When you're looking for something, you won't find it. But you'll find it when you least expect it."

That is my point, I'm not saying that works for everyone, just saying that OP could meet anyone, anywhere.

he never wanted help with the fruit machine, he wanted an excuse to talk to you imo

but your point still stands though about the bold part, I'm just a bit unsure of how to meet people whereby im not in the company of girls every day. What type of clubs are there about these days for 20year olds, theres not much about for young adults bar pubs etc etc, spose i could look into film clubs or something like that.

(Original post by Classical Liberal)
Bow down to the king

Women are really just men with boobies and fannies when you strip em down. It is tragic that men see women as some kind of aliens who need to be treated like little princesses, on the other hand it is what guys are told to do. How often do you hear girls say "I want somebody to treat me like a sex object" or a father to tell his son to "treat girls like guys who you can mount". Or the flip side, the "nice guy" ultimately getting the girl in a film. Men are taught that women are intrinsically different from them and should be treated as such.

I reckon a lot of these self proclaimed "nice guys" who complain about "jerks" treat women like little prissy 7 year old girls. And then these guys wonder why they get "friend zoned".

Suppose your son were to ask you how to deal with girls, would you tell him what you just said? And how would you feel about this if you had a daughter?


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Woah Woah Woah Woah?!?!? Whos saying im a "nice guy" I used to be like that, not anymore I realised that **** dont work, ive gone back through text threads and seen the stuff i used to send, and its really chringy, and I never want to go back to that train of thought.

I banter a lot more and dont put the pussy on the pedastal, that bit in bold is basically how guys should think, girls at the end of the day want to be like "one of the guys" (but with a vag obviously lol) where you can take the piss out of one another, banter, and basically have fun, and not be treated like some sorta alien princess.

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Vikki1805)
But he never planned it, he didn't go out looking to pick a woman up, he went down his local as usual and I turned up. We ended up chatting, I genuinely can't remember who spoke first, I think he asked me to help him on the fruit machine.

But what I'm saying is sometimes people do just meet, you ever heard the saying "When you're looking for something, you won't find it. But you'll find it when you least expect it."

That is my point, I'm not saying that works for everyone, just saying that OP could meet anyone, anywhere.

He may not have PLANNED to do it, but it didn't "just happen". He made an effort to be friendly and talk to you. Which is my point, guys usually approach women. So while women feel that it "just happened" the guy usually puts in some form of effort.

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Vikki1805)
But he never planned it, he didn't go out looking to pick a woman up, he went down his local as usual and I turned up. We ended up chatting, I genuinely can't remember who spoke first, I think he asked me to help him on the fruit machine.

But what I'm saying is sometimes people do just meet, you ever heard the saying "When you're looking for something, you won't find it. But you'll find it when you least expect it."

That is my point, I'm not saying that works for everyone, just saying that OP could meet anyone, anywhere.

Oh and as OP pointed out, there were probably other intentions besides needing help on the fruit machine

[FeelingsBrah]

(Original post by Vikki1805)
Go else where then, broaden your horizon!

There's nowhere interesting around for several hours here.

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Anonymous)
exactly what i was "afraid" of - not that im afraid to talk to girls but you get my point. & I can see where your coming from in the above situation and it would seem appropriate.




Im not some wannabe PUA, its just that Ive finished uni, and I am no longer in the company of girls every day. I have asked a few girls out at work and have been rejected...so on the basis of being rejected all the time i made a change and i am now alot more confident, i feel confident and everything is awesome. But one thing, im not in the company of girls that much.

Please dont think im just going for girls in the aim to be a partner, i would like more girl-friends, I dont have many female friends, and if i network more then theres potential to find a partner, but like i said, i dont have many female friends. (It does stem from the fact that the girls i have asked out and been rejected they are still my friend but i dont actively seek to talk to them that much of the time)

Just am ever so worried that I wont meet anyone for a long time. I can meet girls in clubs and dance with them, but nothing ever seems to come of it, and I refuse to take a girl home, because im a virgin & Id rather lose it to someone that means a lot to me.

Just feel lonely y'know see the majority of my friends and their partners having fun being in a couple and id like to experience that at some point in the near future. Just feel as though time is slipping away from me im almost 22 and not even kissed a girl yet, thats embarassing.

Don't worry about the time "slipping away", the more you worry about these things, the worse it is.

On the meeting girls in clubs things, what do you mean that "nothing ever comes of it"? Do you get phone numbers but no meet ups, or neither?

[Anonymous]

(Original post by dgeorge)
Don't worry about the time "slipping away", the more you worry about these things, the worse it is.

On the meeting girls in clubs things, what do you mean that "nothing ever comes of it"? Do you get phone numbers but no meet ups, or neither?

Neither, i dont get either, all over me and I talk to them and I either get a fake phone number or no number at all (granted its only happened like two or three times but still, whats a guy got to do to get a phone number, maybe its the girls im dancing with being total bitches but still) They are friendly and all and seem like they like me, but just last week, a girl I was dancing with all night was like Oh sorry i've got a boyfriend, (I asked her a simple question,whats his name, she told me it so I believed her, if they hesitate after asking their name they are lieing, then you know they arent worth it) I looked at her friend and she was said in like a concerning voice, "Im really sorry you seem like a really nice guy, but she has, she does this to guys all the time, I feel sorry for her boyfriend too"

Im not all that into set ups either, feel like ive been cheated, id rather do all the work the approach the talk getting the number etc etc rather than someone else telling a girl about me, then meeting up and seeing where it goes, just seems like its "cheating"

[Vikki1805]

(Original post by dgeorge)
He may not have PLANNED to do it, but it didn't "just happen". He made an effort to be friendly and talk to you. Which is my point, guys usually approach women. So while women feel that it "just happened" the guy usually puts in some form of effort.

(Original post by dgeorge)
Oh and as OP pointed out, there were probably other intentions besides needing help on the fruit machine

Oh yeah I'm sure he asked me to help him on the fruity as a conversation starter, I don't doubt that, someone obviously has to initiate the conversation.
What I mean is that neither of us had made a concious decision to go out and look for a partner, he was just down his local pub and I went to the pub with some friends for someone's birthday.
Basically my point is that you can potentially meet anyone, anywhere and anything can happen.

(Original post by FeelingsBrah)
There's nowhere interesting around for several hours here.

Hmm, I don't know what to suggest then?

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Neither, i dont get either, all over me and I talk to them and I either get a fake phone number or no number at all (granted its only happened like two or three times but still, whats a guy got to do to get a phone number, maybe its the girls im dancing with being total bitches but still) They are friendly and all and seem like they like me, but just last week, a girl I was dancing with all night was like Oh sorry i've got a boyfriend, (I asked her a simple question,whats his name, she told me it so I believed her, if they hesitate after asking their name they are lieing, then you know they arent worth it) I looked at her friend and she was said in like a concerning voice, "Im really sorry you seem like a really nice guy, but she has, she does this to guys all the time, I feel sorry for her boyfriend too"

Im not all that into set ups either, feel like ive been cheated, id rather do all the work the approach the talk getting the number etc etc rather than someone else telling a girl about me, then meeting up and seeing where it goes, just seems like its "cheating"

Ahhh here we go.

It would appear that the girls you're mentioning here are the flirty attention seekers. They get their kicks by getting you to show interest, but they have no intention of having contact with you after that night.

Best thing to do would be to stay AWAY from the dancefloor, talk to people getting drinks/in lines, outside smoking etc. Despite the loud headbanging music, and the reputation of clubs attracting only the "chavs", they are actually a good place to meet decent people and you can carry on a conversation IF you know when and how to initiate one.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by dgeorge)
Ahhh here we go.

It would appear that the girls you're mentioning here are the flirty attention seekers. They get their kicks by getting you to show interest, but they have no intention of having contact with you after that night.

Best thing to do would be to stay AWAY from the dancefloor, talk to people getting drinks/in lines, outside smoking etc. Despite the loud headbanging music, and the reputation of clubs attracting only the "chavs", they are actually a good place to meet decent people and you can carry on a conversation IF you know when and how to initiate one.

Sounds like sound advice my friend!!!

Although I doubt all girls are like that on the dancefloor, usually I can spot them a mile off like very sexual dancing sticking the arse out flirty looks, dont even bother with them.

My mate once told me to ask a girl to dance with you. I said thats bull man be a man and just dance with her no need to ask. But one time I was trying to dance with a girl who was cute she declined. But my friend asked her to dance with him, she said no, but she said to him "I wish your friend tried that with me" (****!!!! See someone was interested lol)

Whats your opinion on set ups though, am I right in my opinion or should i let go of the egotistical view towards it?

[dgeorge]

(Original post by FeelingsBrah)
There's nowhere interesting around for several hours here.

BS. Where do you live?

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Sounds like sound advice my friend!!!

Although I doubt all girls are like that on the dancefloor, usually I can spot them a mile off like very sexual dancing sticking the arse out flirty looks, dont even bother with them.

My mate once told me to ask a girl to dance with you. I said thats bull man be a man and just dance with her no need to ask. But one time I was trying to dance with a girl who was cute she declined. But my friend asked her to dance with him, she said no, but she said to him "I wish your friend tried that with me" (****!!!! See someone was interested lol)

Whats your opinion on set ups though, am I right in my opinion or should i let go of the egotistical view towards it?

It's all up to the individual. Personally, I feel they are a bit artificial, I prefer to go for someone I'm attracted to as opposed to being "set up"

Oh, and the girl probably wouldn't have danced with you, even if you did ask.

O btw, it's just as good (or sometimes better) to add the people you meet out on facebook. It's a great means of communication and makes it much easier to widen your social circle. Much preferable to phone numbers in that you get FAR more information about them, an avenue for direct contact, and it seems less "personal" than a number

Other than that, continue to have fun and enjoy yourself while out!

[Classical Liberal]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I banter a lot more and dont put the pussy on the pedastal, that bit in bold is basically how guys should think, girls at the end of the day want to be like "one of the guys" (but with a vag obviously lol) where you can take the piss out of one another, banter, and basically have fun, and not be treated like some sorta alien princess.

"Banter" or light insults are cool. Particularly on hot girls, because they will have probably been treated like some kind of demi god their entire lives by men. And to then start lightly insulting them makes you really stick out and makes it look like you do not care about them or what they think of you, which can make a girl want you.