(Original post by Llewellyn_J)
Hello everyone. After describing this situation to you I will wilfully accept ciriticism and if I find from other points of view that I am wrong, I will admit it. I am very inexperienced with dealing with children. So here is what happened. Warning, it's quite long.
I am white and I am 19 (this is relevant later on) and I stayed with my Malaysian girlfriend, lets call her Jennifer, who is 20, at her aunt and uncle's house in Malaysia for a couple of days. She has several cousins living there too as they tend to have large families over there. The youngest, lets call him Evan, is 12.
The first day Evan refused to leave me alone, he kept grabbing my hair and kept touching me every chance he could get. I am usually indifferent to children as long as they don't make a nuisance of themselves but I find them very annoying (though i do not react) when they do. At first I tolerated it and said nothing. But then Jennifer's older cousin, who is in his mid 20s told me not to tolerate it and tell him off whenever he does these things. So this is what I did but somehow he seems to find it funny when I tell him off and he kept on going. The next day his behaviour got worse. When everyone had left the room he called me an ******* completely out of the blue, and kept telling me to shut up with every little noise I made. I didn't tell anyone though i said to him I don't think his parents would like him using language like that, but it didn't phase him. While i was packing my bags ready to go for later in the day he kept running up behind me and kicking me, while Jennifer was there and with her scolding and my telling him to stop he eventually did so. After, we went to a shopping complex and we split up into groups. First it was me and Jennifer and Evan alone and he kept grabbing hold of the trolley, making it difficult to steer it in such a cramped area though he stopped after a little while. Afterwards he even had the audacity to ask for the change I got from purchasing something. I left the trolley for a few seconds and he started pushing it (this i had no problem with), but Jennifer didn't want that, so she had to fight to get him off it, accidentally hitting some couples' pushchair in the process (luckily there was no baby inside) and causing Evan to fall over and (mildly) hurt his knee. So then he stomped off crying to one of the other groups.
We met up with them a bit later, so it was now my gf, and 5 of her other cousins including Evan. We went to get ice-creams and I treated them all to an ice-cream, except Evan, who I believed didn't deserve one because of his behaviour and I thought this might convince him to leave me alone as this was a repercussion he obviously didn't like. Evan kicked up a massive fuss and though initially my gf went along with it, before long she wanted to give him some of hers. I insisted she didn't give him any as he has got to learn to at least stop bothering me and maybe even that he can't behave like this. I used the fact that I had bought the ice-cream with my money to reinforce my case for not giving him any. Afterwards, when we all got in the car with the rest of the family, she gave the ice cream to me because she couldn't finish it. She kept asking me to give him some and I still refused, quite openly and infront of the rest of his family including his parents.
Afterwards she told me off, saying that they would be talking about it, and she called me mean for doing that to a small boy and immature for 'showing my temper' to him, even though I did not do it to show my temper, I did it to try and get him to stop bothering me (seeing as asking him to stop and telling him off wouldn't work).
NOTE: I will be going to stay with them again for longer in the near future (at least a week), so if it was just the 2 days then I would have left it.
NOTE: His brothers, most of them younger than me did not seem bothered and they even laughed when I didn't give him the ice-cream (I didn't find it funny). However, another cousin (from a different side of the family that I am friends with him specifically) was 'shocked' in Jennifer's words.
I just don't understand, how can I
be the bad guy by trying to deal with such atrocious behaviour by not buying the boy some ice cream? I just don't get it.
EDIT: One thing I neglected to mention was that Jennifer was more supportive than I have been giving you all the impression of. She told Evan off whenever she was present while Evan was bothering me and she fervently argued my case against the cousin who was 'shocked' even though she strongly disagreed with my actions. Just in case this thread was painting a negative picture of her.