[Pharmacist 90]

I have never been to a funeral before so please understand I do not know what to expect.

My Nan's cousin (who I have never met before) died recently and the funeral is to take place Thursday this week. My Nan and her Sister who is also going to be at the funeral hadn't keep in much contact with their Aunt over recent years but felt they should show their respect by attending the farewell.

Anyway, My Nan was originally supposed to be attending the funeral with my uncle, her son, but he rang yesterday to say his legs were bad and he won't be able to make it to the funeral on Thursday, As a a result my Nan has asked me if I could drive her their instead, she insisted that she won't be attending the church service, only the Crematorium afterwards. I said I would take her, no prob.
only thing is I have never been to a crematorium before, I would like to know

. Is the crematorium in a different place to where the church service was held?

. What is the process of a crematorium service?

. What should I wear? I'll only be going to the Crem, should I wear funeral clothes like black shoes, black pants and black shirt or should I just wear plain casual clothes?

thanks again

[kopite493]

a suit its basically a funeral but without the travelling to the cemetery

the preiest in my experience travels to the crematorium so the 'church service is there'

[M'Ling]

The Crematorium is where the remains get taken to be cremated. There's usually a chapel at the Crematorium, where a small 'goodbye' service/prayer is said, and then the coffin is wheeled into where the burning will take place.

I wouldn't wear casual clothes, out of respect for family members who know her. This will be the last time they say goodbye. I'd wear something smart, so all-black is definitely an option if you so wish.

[Pharmacist 90]

(Original post by kopite493)
a suit its basically a funeral but without the travelling to the cemetery

the preiest in my experience travels to the crematorium so the 'church service is there'

hi, do you mean I should wear a suit just for attending the Crematorium, I don't actually have a suit, I have the black shoes, pants and shirt , without trying to sound mean , I don't want to go out specifically to buy a suit just for driving my Nan to the Crem of a woman who I don't even know. I'd happily put on my black shoes , shirt and pants, maybe even borrow a suit from my Bro if he has one spare.

[Pharmacist 90]

(Original post by M'Ling)
The Crematorium is where the remains get taken to be cremated. There's usually a chapel at the Crematorium, where a small 'goodbye' service/prayer is said, and then the coffin is wheeled into where the burning will take place.

I wouldn't wear casual clothes, out of respect for family members who know her. This will be the last time they say goodbye. I'd wear something smart, so all-black is definitely an option if you so wish.

I have plain black shoes and plain black pants but my shirt is slightly striped, would I be best with a plain black shirt? it'd mean I'd have to borrow form my Brother though. also I don't own a blazer? only my school one with the logo attached, haha

EDIT: Should the shirt be long sleeved or will short suffice?

[xoxAngel_Kxox]

You should dress smartly, as you would if you were attending the church service. Black is the colour to go for unless the deceased specifically asked for something else, so black trousers and black shoes are great, plus a smart shirt. White is okay in my opinion as long as you have a black tie to go with it.

The short service at the crem usually only takes a few minutes, as the majority of the service will have taken place at the church beforehand. Literally the only thing that usually happens is that you go in and sit down, say a short prayer and then the coffin will go behind the curtain. Usually you're only in there for ten minutes.

[Pharmacist 90]

(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
You should dress smartly, as you would if you were attending the church service. Black is the colour to go for unless the deceased specifically asked for something else, so black trousers and black shoes are great, plus a smart shirt. White is okay in my opinion as long as you have a black tie to go with it.

The short service at the crem usually only takes a few minutes, as the majority of the service will have taken place at the church beforehand. Literally the only thing that usually happens is that you go in and sit down, say a short prayer and then the coffin will go behind the curtain. Usually you're only in there for ten minutes.

does it matter if I can't get hold of a blazer? also is a tie essential?

[Jabberwox]

I'd wear black smart clothes, as a sign of respect.

[Wookie42]

The crematorium is an entirely separate place to the church, and while some people don't bother with a church service before hand, standard practise is to have 'the funeral' at church and then a few words more said before the send off at the crematorium.

Usually there is a short service, but this can be something as short as a prayer - its entirely up to the family, and the crematorium isn't the same as a church in terms of religion. If requested, there could be no service, no prayer, and just closed curtains. Most common to have a vicar there though.

Wear what you'd wear to a funeral. Although no one is going to tell you off if you don't and people dress in a variety of ways, its best to wear a formal suit/black tie.

[xoxAngel_Kxox]

(Original post by Pharmacist 90)
does it matter if I can't get hold of a blazer? also is a tie essential?

I wouldn't say a blazer was essential, but you can get a black tie quite cheaply so I would honestly go for it. Having said that, people have enough on their minds at funerals so I doubt anyone would be offended if you didn't.

[Pharmacist 90]

(Original post by Wookie42)
The crematorium is an entirely separate place to the church, and while some people don't bother with a church service before hand, standard practise is to have 'the funeral' at church and then a few words more said before the send off at the crematorium.

Usually there is a short service, but this can be something as short as a prayer - its entirely up to the family, and the crematorium isn't the same as a church in terms of religion. If requested, there could be no service, no prayer, and just closed curtains. Most common to have a vicar there though.

Wear what you'd wear to a funeral. Although no one is going to tell you off if you don't and people dress in a variety of ways, its best to wear a formal suit/black tie.

(Original post by Jabberwox)
I'd wear black smart clothes, as a sign of respect.

Even though I didn't know the woman? anyway, unless my Brother doesn't have a suit to borrow me, I'd just have to wear my black shoes, shirt and tie, would that be seen as appropriate?

[Pharmacist 90]

(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
I wouldn't say a blazer was essential, but you can get a black tie quite cheaply so I would honestly go for it. Having said that, people have enough on their minds at funerals so I doubt anyone would be offended if you didn't.

thank you, can I just ask, must the shirt be completely plain or is it okay to have a few white stripes, also does it have to be long sleeve?

[xoxAngel_Kxox]

(Original post by Pharmacist 90)
thank you, can I just ask, must the shirt be completely plain or is it okay to have a few white stripes, also does it have to be long sleeve?

I think as long as it's a smart shirt and not Hawaiian print or anything you should be fine. Don't think it matters whether it's long or short either. If you're worried, you could post a photo of the shirt then we can see it?

[Wookie42]

(Original post by Pharmacist 90)
Even though I didn't know the woman? anyway, unless my Brother doesn't have a suit to borrow me, I'd just have to wear my black shoes, shirt and tie, would that be seen as appropriate?

Doesn't really make a difference. I'm not meaning you should buy a suit especially and whatever just to look smart, but you can't really turn up and just say to people 'oh yeah, I didn't know the person so that's why I'm not suited up' :P Black shoes, shirt and tie should be fine though! I'm not trying to come across like an idiot btw, telling you to dress up for the occasion - just could be quite awkward for you if you turned up in less than a shirt and tie.

[canŵio]

people probably won't care too much, especially as they don't really know you! black shirt/trousers will be fine, although i'd go with long sleeves. (short sleeves are only really yfor children under about twelve!)
when i went to a funeral the bit in the crematorium was really short so you'll be fine. and maybe you'll get to stay for food too, the reception is the best bit

[Pharmacist 90]

(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
I think as long as it's a smart shirt and not Hawaiian print or anything you should be fine. Don't think it matters whether it's long or short either. If you're worried, you could post a photo of the shirt then we can see it?

I'll try to post a picture of it later if I get time, and no, its not the shirt is not Hawaiian, haha

(Original post by Wookie42)
Doesn't really make a difference. I'm not meaning you should buy a suit especially and whatever just to look smart, but you can't really turn up and just say to people 'oh yeah, I didn't know the person so that's why I'm not suited up' :P Black shoes, shirt and tie should be fine though! I'm not trying to come across like an idiot btw, telling you to dress up for the occasion - just could be quite awkward for you if you turned up in less than a shirt and tie.

I see your point, thanks

(Original post by canŵio)
people probably won't care too much, especially as they don't really know you! black shirt/trousers will be fine, although i'd go with long sleeves. (short sleeves are only really yfor children under about twelve!)
when i went to a funeral the bit in the crematorium was really short so you'll be fine. and maybe you'll get to stay for food too, the reception is the best bit

I only eat food if its individually wrapped where nobody can spread their germs on them, if they are cakes for example, each wrapped in separate wrappers then I might eat them.

[Joinedup]

(Original post by Pharmacist 90)
I have plain black shoes and plain black pants but my shirt is slightly striped, would I be best with a plain black shirt? it'd mean I'd have to borrow form my Brother though. also I don't own a blazer? only my school one with the logo attached, haha

EDIT: Should the shirt be long sleeved or will short suffice?

you could get a grey suit and use it for job interviews.

Basic procedure is you have a 10 15 min service at the crem then drive off to a function room to have some sandwiches (especially if people have come a long way) chat to your relatives for a bit and then go home again.

Striped shirt would be ok imo as long as it wasn't very cheerful e.g. Bright multi coloured stripes. I've done funerals in short sleeve shirts, but I've had a suit jacket on over so nobody would know.
White or pale blue shirts are fine imo. Tie black or any solid dark colour.

Take an umbrella (any colour) cos you can end up waiting outside on these gigs if the previous minister was a waffler, especially if you're looking after an elderly relative for the day.

[canŵio]

(Original post by Pharmacist 90)
I only eat food if its individually wrapped where nobody can spread their germs on them, if they are cakes for example, each wrapped in separate wrappers then I might eat them.

i hate things wrapped in plastic

[Pharmacist 90]

(Original post by canŵio)
i hate things wrapped in plastic

I mean like, I wont eat crisps if they have been ripped out of the packets and placed on a plate whereas I would eat them if they were still in the packets, same goes for cakes, sweets .e.t.c

[canŵio]

(Original post by Pharmacist 90)
I mean like, I wont eat crisps if they have been ripped out of the packets and placed on a plate whereas I would eat them if they were still in the packets, same goes for cakes, sweets .e.t.c

but... what about all those pretty yummy cakes in cake shops? you won't eat any of those?