[Schmucks]

I cannot imagine what you are going through, i'm sorry to hear all of this!

I can't say much other than re-iterate that spending time with her should be the ultimate priority now. As hard as it will be, you need to try to take as many positive moments from the next couple/few weeks as possible.

[FuzzySheep]

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you OP, I can't even begin to fathom what this is like for you at home. It's going to be tough, but you need to be strong now and support your family, like you're already doing so well. But please remember that you will NEVER be alone, for a start we're all here for you, and someone else earlier in the thread has mentioned Macmillan. You are an incredibly strong person, things will be hard, but you are a wonderful person who will make your mum and dad so proud of you. I wish you all the best in your upcoming months

[criminal]

(Original post by AmiraSerafina)
Hey.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you; I know what you're going through because I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer.

My advice to you is to BE WITH HER. Spend as much time with her as possible and make memories. That's the one thing I regret not doing the most..
If you need someone to talk to or moan to, just message me.

I also lost a family member to pancreatic cancer. I also regret not spending enough time with him, if only I had known sooner.. but yeah that's good advice

[EffieFlowers]

I'm so sorry OP. This must be so difficult for you.

I know life seems so cruel and horribly harsh right now but it'll get better. Take your time and look after yourself.

If you ever want to talk or just vent, PM me.

[viksta1000]

I know exactly what you are going through, my grandma passed away last year through pancreatic cancer, the doctor never told us how long she had left, but just said prepare for the worst. She was admitted into hospital on saturday the 6th August and passed away 2 days later, we never knew anything was wrong, it was just a check up and she seemed fine the week before, and then before you know it....

The only thing I wanted to do was be with her and my family and enjoy the time we had left together. She was in alot of pain but even we nor the doctor told her the news, we just wanted to her to live the time she had left to the fullest with her family rather than worrying about the outcome. She underwent any possible operations to try and cure it, but it didn't work

If I can give you any advice from my experience, it would be to enjoy and cherish the time you have left with your mother, talk to her, and tell her anything you might regret not telling her later

You will be in my thoughts and wishes, I pray for your mother to undergo a speedy recovery!

[AmiraSerafina]

(Original post by criminal)
I also lost a family member to pancreatic cancer. I also regret not spending enough time with him, if only I had known sooner.. but yeah that's good advice

Thanks. If only we had someone to give us that advice, eh?

[VanessaXD]

(Original post by Anonymous)
My mum has recently been diagnosed with Grade 4 brain cancer otherwise known as Glioblastoma Multiforme. It is the most common but also the most aggressive and rapid growing form of brain cancer. She is unable to undergo any surgery or chemo or radiotherapy. I looked online and apparently the prognosis for untreated Glioblastoma Multiforme is 2-3 months but it could be less. I feel sick. Just last month, she was walking and talking and leading a normal life and now she couldn't be anymore different. She is almost completely paralyzed on her right side and is unable to walk, bathe herself or use the bathroom on her own. Her speech has changed so her voice sounds more weaker and vulnerable.When I hug her and tell her I love her she cries and tells me she's let me down and put me through hell.

At the moment my father is looking after me. He has heart disease and if he has another heart attack he'll pass away. He has high blood pressure and has recently been tested for diabetes (results come on Wednesday).

My only sibling lives in Switzerland and will be moving to Singapore in January because of his job.

I am 18 and currently interning in an investment bank. I get my A-level results next week but I doubt I'll meet my offer this year.

I'm stressed, tired, worried , anxious and alone.

I don't know how I'm going to cope.

Advice please?

Awhhhhhhhhhhh I just really want to give you a big hug

You're going through a really tough time right now, it is good to have friends and other family with you so you don't feel alone. I hope your mother gets better, I really do. Stay strong. x

[nsolma1]

Hey man, i am really sorry for you man, its such a hard thing to go through in life no matter how old you are.
Losing a mum is not easy, hold dear every last second you spend with your mum as these are the last.
Show her that you love her and appreciate her.
Bless you my friend.

[green.tea]

Thoughts are with you. Remember that your mum is upset that she's making you sad so try to show her that your coping, even when you dot feel you are. Be strong for her and your dad.

[Valjean]

Hey,

I lost my father to a glioblastoma last year. Everybody handles it differently but for me what kept me sane was staying busy and doing absolutely everything I could to keep my dad comfortable and make his last months the best they could be. Most of all, there was nothing I didn't want to know. Some people prefer not to read the difficult stuff in the early stages but I really feel that knowledge is power, if you're up to it.

If you want to know:

Spoiler:

Show

in my experience there is very little information on the end stages of life specifically regarding brain tumours. http://www.brainhospice.com/ can give you good ideas of what to look out for but don't panic when you see the odd symptom - you really will know when it comes to be 'time'. One thing with brain tumours is that they are generally seen as being a less horrid way to die than some other cancers. I know with lots of stories I've read, and with my father personally, he had very little discomfort because his body began to naturally shut down and he was very out of it. The pain he did have was at the very end, and easily controlled with the use of morphine via syringe driver.

It is difficult but there are all sorts of discussions you are going to have to have while your mum is still coherent. The main things are where to be based when she becomes immobile (my dad chose the living room downstairs because he liked being in the centre of family activity, and having the huge tv), what she would like in the end stages, her will and her funeral. Also, you need to prepare for the idea that your mum may not progress as quickly as you have been told. This for us created an issue as we were having care at home via Continuing Care Fast Track but the PCT became unwilling to fund it further and wanted to move him to a nursing home (understaffed and zero experience of brain tumours, also, he'd have been the youngest there by thirty years!) If your mum is opposed to that, you should have her make it clear to professionals now because further down the line this created conflict with the care coordinator. 'Fortunately' my father became ill in the end stages the day he was supposed to be moved to a home and was able to die in a hospice like he wanted.

Depending on your PCT you may only get a few carer visits a day. A patient with a brain tumour needs more care than this, especially while they are mobile and above all, somebody who is bed bound in my opinion should have personal cares more frequently in order to preserve dignity. You should establish whether she is comfortable with you and your father assisting with these needs, or whether she would prefer professionals. Luckily my father had a critical illness policy so I ended up arranging private carers. For us it was the right thing to know he was always in safe hands, and took so much strain away from myself and my school age brother.

You may be offered night sitters from Marie Curie - they are angels and see themselves as there to support the whole family, as well as the patient. If you get up in the night all the time to check she's ok, this may be a saviour for you. A family caring for somebody all need to make sure they get productive sleep and don't get run down themselves. You can't be strong for your mum if you let yourself get ill.

If your mother has recently been given dexamethasone to control the swelling in the brain, you will probably notice a massive improvement in a few days. However you should also prepare yourself for the effects of long term high dose steroids - namely a sweet tooth and utterly insane appetite. We could not keep the cupboards full for very long at all. Steroid induced diabetes is common but honestly, just give her anything she fancies. Let her make as many choices as possible.

Do you know where in the brain the tumour is? You may be able to predict how your mother will deteriorate and mentally prepare yourself for it, and figure out ways of coping. You will have lots of opportunity to be inventive in order to keep your mother as content as possible. My father liked to fidget and would tell us he was at work measuring up a house for carpets, and he was always using his hands. We bought him a Rubix cube. He did take the stickers off and never complete it... but he sure enjoyed himself.

I can't think of anything else to add, but if you have any questions or need to talk, feel free to PM me.

Also, we were told it was a case of weeks and not months at initial diagnosis and to immediately get his affairs in order. He actually lived for six months... so do bear in mind that prognosis predictions aren't always right.

[Blind Ferret]

You hold on and try not to loose your ****. Because what was once the worst time of your life will come to be a character shaping event. I know it will be bad, for quiet some time, but you have to be supportive and except any outcome. It will be hard, it will be tough but pulling yourself from the depths of negative emotion will always make you stronger. Good Luck. I hope you the best.

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone so much for your supportive comments. I feel like I can put things into perspective now.

Thank you all.

[pinkangelgirl]

(Original post by viksta1000)
I know exactly what you are going through, my grandma passed away last year through pancreatic cancer, the doctor never told us how long she had left, but just said prepare for the worst. She was admitted into hospital on saturday the 6th August and passed away 2 days later, we never knew anything was wrong, it was just a check up and she seemed fine the week before, and then before you know it....

The only thing I wanted to do was be with her and my family and enjoy the time we had left together. She was in alot of pain but even we nor the doctor told her the news, we just wanted to her to live the time she had left to the fullest with her family rather than worrying about the outcome. She underwent any possible operations to try and cure it, but it didn't work

If I can give you any advice from my experience, it would be to enjoy and cherish the time you have left with your mother, talk to her, and tell her anything you might regret not telling her later

You will be in my thoughts and wishes, I pray for your mother to undergo a speedy recovery!

This is his MUM- not his grandmother- entirely different.

People negging me clearly haven't lost a parent

[Castro]

I'm very, very sorry to hear that. I've lost my mother when I was young and I know its very difficult. Much hugs to you.

My best wishes go to you and your mother and spend as much time with your mother and family.

[viksta1000]

(Original post by pinkangelgirl)
This is his MUM- not his grandmother- entirely different

wow....just wow

a death in the family, and this is what you have to say....wow

the pain one goes through when they see a loved one passing away is the same...my grandmother raised me for 19 years, and you're saying that i'm not going to feel pain knowing that she's going to leave?

[LilMonster]

(Original post by Pinkhead)
It's an anonymous poster. The stats aren't the OP's stats.

well yeah whatever, he/she starts loads of different threads, just look out for them.

[pinkangelgirl]

(Original post by viksta1000)
wow....just wow

a death in the family, and this is what you have to say....wow

the pain one goes through when they see a loved one passing away is the same...my grandmother raised me for 19 years, and you're saying that i'm not going to feel pain knowing that she's going to leave?

I didnt say that. But for most people losing a grandmother would be a different pain to losing a parent.

In your case, if your grandmother raised you then yes your right it would probably be the same sort of pain.

[madders94]

(Original post by viksta1000)
wow....just wow

a death in the family, and this is what you have to say....wow

the pain one goes through when they see a loved one passing away is the same...my grandmother raised me for 19 years, and you're saying that i'm not going to feel pain knowing that she's going to leave?

It tends not to be the same - although, in your case, it will be very similar because your grandmother raised you - but pinkangelgirl has a point. I've had people tell me that they know exactly what I've been through because their distant cousin has died, which is apparently the same as my brother dying. It feels like it devalues just how much difference there is between a distant cousin and a brother and makes you feel like a bad person for being so upset about it.

That said, your situation is very different to that, and the closeness to your grandma makes your situation very similar to the OP's, and I'm sorry for your loss I hope my post makes some sense, I've just read it back to myself and it seems a little confusing.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Castro)
I'm very, very sorry to hear that. I've lost my mother when I was young and I know its very difficult. Much hugs to you.

My best wishes go to you and your mother and spend as much time with your mother and family.

How old were you when she passed? And what caused her death?

[Anonymous]

(Original post by pinkangelgirl)
Hey OP,

I lost my Mum 2 years ago cancer still hurts to this day, if not more...my advice would be to spend EVERY SECOND with your Mum. I have so many regrets and hate myself so much for not being there for my Mum.

If I could turn back time I would have dropped everything just to spend the last few months with her and cherish the time we had left together.

Good luck! Let your Mum know how much you love her.

I am sorry xx

How old were you when she passed? What type of cancer was it? What was her prognosis?